Scarred
by MyChemicalKilljoy
Summary: The lone survivor from a mission gone wrong, Kenzie Stone is recruited into Task Force 141 to help take down war criminal Makarov. There, she meets the dark, mysterious Ghost: the only one that seems to know her pain. Both running from broken pasts, both believe they're alone... And both of them are wrong. Rated M for violence, language and possible later chapters. Ghost/OC.
1. Prologue

**Hey guys! I was going through one of my moods where I really missed Ghost and Roach and Soap and pretty much all the MW2 characters, so naturally, I decided to write a fic! I'll give you fair warning that it'll probably be slightly AU in parts, and definitely will be when I get round to writing Loose Ends. It was really hard to actually write about the military and war and stuff, so please be nice! Oh, and obviously, I own absolutely nothing except from my OC's. So um, yeah, enjoy! x**

* * *

I had joined the military at the very first chance I got, thanks to advice from an old friend. Anything to get me away from those people and that place. I was running away from my past, my memories, my scars. I needed to start again in a new place with new people.

It was hard to start with and it never seemed to get easier at all. _Not until I met him. _

I worked my way up through the ranks, laughing at the teasing from my fellow soldiers, who always thought the worst of me at first because I was, "just a girl." I loved proving them wrong and seeing the looks on their faces when I out did them in training excerises, drills, missions.

It was after a particularly brutal fight in Afghan when I got scouted and called for personally. One by one I had watched my squadron drop. One by one I had watched the life slowly seep from their eyes, but I had carried on. _I survived_. It's with grim amusement that I look back to that day and know that I would not have been able to finish our mission if I was male. I was smaller, faster, more agile and I was able to squeeze myself into hiding spaces that the other troops couldn't. I killed so many that day for them. In their memory, I unleashed rage and bloodlust I never even knew I had in me, but it got me out of there, so I couldn't complain.

I was transported out to meet General Shepherd just days after I got back. I'd hardly had time to grieve. I hadn't had time to honour the memory of my fallen brothers properly. I got to spend fifteen minutes at the memorial service before I was taken away, so it was with great strength that I held myself together in front of Shepherd. I seemed to have made a good impression, because I was told minutes into our conversation that I was now taking direct orders from him and moving into the base that homed the one and only Task Force One-Four-One.

I had heard about them. There was talk of them everywhere I went, how they were the best group of warriors from around the world, hand-picked and elite. My first reaction was to phone Aaron and tell him the news, but then I remembered how I had held his bloodied hand until his entire body turned cold.

My new life as the newest member of the One-Four-One started immediately and I was fully prepared for the usual jibes and funny looks. I was beyond the point of caring anymore. I had decided on the plane over that everything I did from here on out was for the people I had watched get slaughtered. They were the reason I was here, and I would hate for them to see me moping, or not living up to everything I was made out to be. They would want to see the best, so the best I was going to give and absolutely nothing was going to get in the way of that.

_But then there was Ghost._


	2. Reunited

I hopped out of the truck and retrieved the couple of bags from the back seat that held the very few things I needed. I gave the driver a friendly smile and a wave before inhaling a deep breath and taking in my surroundings. Two words that sprang to mind was dusty and hot. Too dusty and way too hot. To my right, a few soldiers were shooting some hoops, just having a good time off duty. Right in front of me was a set of stairs leading down to a place called "The Pit" according to the signs. I spotted a shooting range near the make-shift basketball course and saw a group of newbies getting taught how to shoot their gun properly. I smiled to myself as I got an involuntary flashback.

_'They're treating us like total idiots.' The brown haired boy with the grey eyes next to me whispered suddenly. It was my first day at a training camp and it was safe to say I was terrified. He was the first one to talk to me in a friendly tone, and the only thing I could do was give him a smile in return. 'It's not like we're gonna end up blowing our own heads off, right? Ooh... Well, maybe they had an experience like that once before and that's why they're being so uptight about it.' I giggled quietly, instantly warming to this guy. 'I'm Aaron.' He stuck out his hand, which I shook quickly. _

_'Kenzie.' I whispered. _

_'Nice to meet you, Kenzie. So, is that a hint of a Scottish accent I hear?' _

I snapped myself out of my daydream and cleared my throat. Oh, Aaron... He was the only one that had kept up with me. We progressed in our military careers together and always had each others back. He was the closest thing I'd had to family and now he was gone.

'Ah! Mackenzie Stone, there you are!' General Shepherd's booming voice rattled my bones and I resisted the urge to cringe, especially since he used my full name.

'It's just Kenzie, sir.' I lifted my lips up into a small smile.

'Sorry, sorry.' He laughed and clapped a hand on my shoulder. 'Why don't you give Private Dawson here your bags and he'll go drop them inside for you?' Hesitantly, I offered my luggage to the young Private. He grinned and gave me a small wink before walking away. I wanted to see which direction the barracks were in so I didn't get lost later, but I was already starting to get pushed down towards The Pit. I had done plenty of training courses before, but this one seemed so much more intimidating. It was probably because I felt so under pressure. _I was in Task Force One-Four-One!_ I had to live up to their standards.

'I'm pretty sure you know what you have to do here, right?' General Shepherd asked as we descended the steps.

'Yes, sir.'

'Great. I'll leave you in the capable hands of Dunn here and I'll go grab a front row seat.' Shepherd clapped my shoulder once more before making his way to the observation deck.

'Hi.' I put on a cheery front for this Dunn guy.

'Hey.' He looked me up and down. 'Always nice to see a new face round here. How's it goin'?'

'Um... Good, I think.' I laughed nervously. 'A little scared, if I'm honest.'

'Yeah, Shepherd's a scary kinda guy.' Dunn grinned and stepped to the side to reveal a row of weapons. 'Take your pick then.'

I stepped over and carefully ran my fingers along the cold, smooth surfaces of the guns, finally settling on the UMP45. I made sure to strap a combat knife into my belt as well for the close encounters.

'No pressure or anything but one of the Task Force dudes completed this entire course in 18 seconds flat with just a pistol. That's the rumours round base anyway.' Dunn shrugged. 'Think you can beat that?'

On the inside, I was in utter shock. 18 seconds? With a pistol? That's something I would have loved to see. On the outside, I had managed to keep the perfect poker face.

'I can all but try, right?' I flipped the safety off and drew a calming breath. 'Ready.'

'Good luck. Alright, in 3... 2...1...' The sound of the buzzer went off and the gates slid open. I ran through into the course and everything blurred by the very second I fired my first shot. I hadn't taken down a single civilian and I was already swinging my knife by the time someone shouted over the intercom for me to use it. I had broken sweat and was trying not to pant too heavily by the time I got back round to Dunn.

'That was pretty awesome, new girl.' He grinned and held out his hands. I gave him the gun and the knife back and checked for my time.

'22.4 seconds.' I huffed and pushed away some stray strands of my blonde hair that had come loose from my ponytail. 'Is that still good?'

'It's excellent, lass.' I froze at the sound of the familiar voice and turned slowly on my heel to see if it was really him. A grin split my face as soon as I laid eyes on him standing next to Shepherd.

'Oh my God, MacTavish!' I laughed in disbelief and ran towards him. I threw my arms round his neck and clutched him tightly as he lifted me up off the ground.

'You haven't grown at all, have you?' Hearing another Scottish accent in such a new, foreign place was comforting.

'Oh, shut it.' I held him close for a few more seconds before letting go so I could really look at him. 'You're looking great. War suits you, huh?' He grinned and yanked at my ponytail.

'You're looking pretty good yourself, kid. I heard about what happened in Afghan. How you holdin' up?' The mention of that day tugged at my high spirits upon being reunited with MacTavish and I felt a small lump form in my throat. Nobody had cared about how I was coping after I got back.

'Fine.' I whispered with a nod. 'I'm fine.' I saw in his eyes that he didn't believe me so I tried to force a smile for his benefit. He saw right through it, but smiled back because he knew that was what I wanted. We could leave the emotional stuff for later.

'You two know each other, I assume?' Shepherd butted in after clearing his throat.

'Oh aye, we go way back.' MacTavish pulled me against him in another hug. 'I've known this wee lass since she was learning to walk. How old are you now anyway?'

'I'll be 25 in September.'

'Way to make me feel old.' His eyebrows shot up.

'Yup.' I grinned and addressed General Shepherd. 'MacTavish is the one who encouraged me to join the military in the first place.' I glanced up at my old friend and we shared a look. I knew he was dying to know everything, but now was not the time or place to talk about my problems.

'Well it's a good thing you did, Captain!' Shepherd laughed loudly. 'So you'll be happy enough to do the honours of getting her settled in?'

'I'd love to.' MacTavish grinned and the three of us left The Pit.

'Report in to me tomorrow at 0800 sharp, both of you. Get your team together as well, Captain, we've got a big mission coming up and we need all of your best men.' Shepherd's mood changed drastically in the space of a few seconds and I felt myself take an automatic step back. Before either of us had a chance to reply, he was gone, shouting orders at the rest of the army, telling them to gear up and get ready.

'You get used to him, don't worry about it.' MacTavish jerked his head to the right. 'Come on, I'll show you around. Then we can talk.' I was looking forward to catching up with him, I really was. He had been in my life for as long as I could remember and he would always tell me stories about the new places he had seen or the new friends he had made on his travels. It wasn't until I was a bit older that he explained to me what it was he really did for a living, and ever since then I was completely struck with the idea. He had been the leading father figure in my life, my hero, so to say, and I wanted to be just like him when I grew up. He came back for a visit not long after my eighteenth birthday and he knew instantly how much pain I was in. He gave me some leaflets and phone numbers and told me to get cracking. This was the first time I had seen him since that day and I was starting to think that he was maybe K.I.A. I had weirdly resigned myself to that fact, knowing that he would of at least died doing what he loved to do, but now he was here. He was part of this Task Force too! It was like this had always meant to happen.

'So how long have you been here then?' I chirped as he held the door open for me.

'Few years or so. What about you? What have you been up to?'

'I got myself into the S.A.S.' I shrugged like it wasn't a big deal.

'Good for you, lass.' He chuckled. 'I've been keeping tabs on you for a while, if I'm honest. Thought you went down in Afghan, but then we heard word that the mission was complete and a lone soldier got out alive. You'll never understand how happy I was to see that picture of your stupid mug.'

'Oh, haha, you're so funny.' I said sarcastically, making sure he saw the way I rolled my brown eyes at him.

'Hilarious. Anyway, down to business. Call sign?'

'Don't have one yet.'

'Hm... Give it a few days and that'll soon change. Oh, dorms are just down this corridor here. According to Shepherd, you're in room 31 which is right next to Archer and Toad. For being specialist snipers, they're total idiots.' He shook his head and tried the handle. When it opened, he poked his head in and told me that my luggage was all there, safe and sound.

'The rec room is down here, and the cafeteria is down there.' He pointed in general directions and I nodded. It didn't seem like too big of a place and there were worn away signs that would keep me right anyway, so I don't think I would get too lost. He continued on, 'My office is near the main door back there and the armoury is in the basement. Showers are back by the dorms and um...'

'Do I have to shower with a bunch of guys?' I raised an eyebrow. In the S.A.S, I managed to get myself my own stall away from prying eyes. I really hoped this place wouldn't be much different.

'There's only one shower room, but there are four closed stalls that you can take your pick from. Locker room however...'

'Ugh, dammit 'Tavish.' I scowled up at him, but he merely grinned.

'Sorry, Kenzie, we're just not really designed to house females. It's quite rare.'

'Is that supposed to make me feel special?'

'It was worth a try.' We laughed and I sighed happily. Things were starting to look up, big time. I had lost so many, but now I was reunited with the man that had gotten me out of my own personal hell hole. I had been recruited into the most elite group of warriors in the entire world and so far, things were going great!

'Alright, so... Wanna meet some of the guys?'

My stomach dropped and I forced myself to stay cool. It was like this everytime. It would pass and I would be okay. I just never was really good at meeting new people. Not since school.

'Sure.' I took sly, deep breaths, trying not to let him see how nervous I was. I wanted him to think I was more capable now, stronger than the girl he had seen six years ago. We walked back towards the rec room and I had to stretch up onto my tiptoes to see through the glass panel in the door. I only measured at a dainty 5'2, which really didn't help my case most of the time with other soldiers.

'Kenzie?'

'Yeah?' I looked up into MacTavish's hazy grey eyes and saw the warmth in them.

'Most of them will go easy on you, I promise. They'll just be expecting something a little different, that's all.'

'Do they know about...?' I prayed he knew what I was trying to say.

'Only a couple. You don't have to tell the rest the full story if you don't want to, seeing as it's none of their damn business.' He put a hand on my back and smiled down at me. 'I'm really glad you're here, by the way.'

'So am I.' I threw an arm round his waist in a half-assed hug then straightened myself up, trying to look a bit more professional. At least I would be okay with MacTavish here.

He opened the door to the rec room and they all turned round when they realised who it was that had just walked in. I did a quick head count and got 11. There were 11 men in here now staring at me like I had just grown an extra arm.

'Is this the FNG?' One of them piped up from one of two battered looking sofa's.

'Yep. This is Kenzie. Shepherd wanted to meet her after what went down in Afghan.'

'Wait, _what_? Someone actually survived that? I thought that place got completely destroyed!' The same one leaned forward slightly, a look of wonder spreading across his face.

'Yeah, I got told they were all K.I.A.' The second one on the sofa leaned back so he could see round his friend's head. I averted my gaze and tried not to listen to what they were saying. Instinctively, my fingers reached towards my chest. I traced the outline of the dog tags beneath my tank top and tried to imagine what Aaron would tell me if he was here right now.

_Smile, for Gods sake! It's not the end of the world, Z. They're just curious. Wouldn't you be?_

'Kenzie completed her orders and came home, just like any good soldier should.' I felt MacTavish's hand on my back and found the courage to lift my head again and make eye contact with the two loud-mouth's on the sofa. Both had green eyes, which were now wide with fascination.

'I expect you to treat her like you would any FNG. Show her the ropes, make her feel welcome and show her some respect. And yes, I'm talking to you Meat. You too, Roach.' A chorus of laughs circled the room as the two who must have been Meat and Roach took low bows from over by the pool table.

That seemed to be all it took to break the ice, then they all went back to doing whatever it was they were doing before we walked in.

'Now, Kenzie, this is your new Lieutenant, Ghost.' MacTavish walked me over to a man who had his back to us as he searched his pockets for something. He turned quickly at the sound of his name and I fell back a few steps. The first thing I noticed was his height; he towered over me. Then it was his mask, which added to the thrill of fear that fizzed through my veins. It was a balaclava with a skull pattern on it, which was intimidating at a first look. He had on a pair of dark red sunglasses too, so I never got to see a single part of his face. 'Ghost, meet Kenzie. I highly recommend you check out her file when you get the chance.'

'Will do, Captain.' I was taken aback even more by his broad British accent. 'Nice to meet you.' His tone was clipped as he nodded towards me before turning his back again and walking towards the fire exit door.

'What...' I frowned in spite of myself, completely puzzled by his strange behaviour.

'Ghost is...' MacTavish rubbed at the stubble on his chin as he thought of a word to describe his second in command. 'Ghost keeps himself to himself. He's not much of a talker, so don't get used to having full blown conversations with him.'

'A little rude, no?'

'If you value your life, for the love of God, do not bring that up, lass.' MacTavish shook his head and steered me away from the direction Ghost had just left in. I got taken round everyone in the room, hitting it off particularly with Archer and Roach. Like Ghost, they were British, but it didn't stand out nowhere near as much. By the time I was done, I had almost forgotten about that mysterious Lieutenant without a face.

_Almost._


	3. Formalities

I had eaten dinner that night with Archer, Toad and Ozone. They were mainly wrapped up in their own conversation about a previous mission, so that gave me time to let my gaze wander round the room. I tried to remember everyone's faces and put names to them, but a few of them still escaped me. I scoped out MacTavish and grinned at the back of his head. My eyes flickered over to see who he was sitting with and froze when I saw Ghost staring right at me. At least, I think he was staring at me. He was still wearing those glasses and that damn mask. I was judging by the position his head was in. I wasn't sure if it was a good or a bad thing so I looked away quickly and went back to swirling my spoon in my soup in small tight circles.

Why did I get the feeling that he really, really hated the fact that I was here? I felt my brow furrow as I thought about it and my spoon swirling stopped. Men and their damn moods. And they said women were bad.

'Kenzie?' Someone nudged my arm, startling me. Toad grinned widely in my face and I couldn't help but smile back. 'We asked if you wanted to run the training course with us tomorrow?'

'Aye, okay.' I nodded and allowed myself another quick look up at Ghost to see that he had turned his head away from me. I relaxed slightly and the pressure I was beginning to feel in my chest loosened.

'Ah, someone else who speaks like Soap.' Ozone knocked his forehead against the table.

'Soap? As in, MacTavish?' My grin widened at his call sign and I glanced back over at him, completely unaware that we were talking about him.

'Did he not tell you?'

'No.' I scooped some soup into my mouth and wondered how badly I could wind him up about it without him wanting to tear my head from my shoulders. As if on cue, the Captain and the Lieutenant rose gracefully from their seats and made a beeline for our table.

'Hey, Soap, how's it goin'?' I sniggered. I peeked up at him through my lashes and saw his eyes narrow towards the three guys opposite me.

'Good, thanks. Almost done?' He motioned towards my almost full bowl and I considered it for a moment before nodding.

'Yeah, I'm not that hungry anyway.' I tidied up behind myself in a hurry, not wanting to wait any longer than necessary anymore to speak to... Soap. I waved bye to my new friends as I walked out of the cafeteria in between MacTavish and Ghost. I tried to read the vibe coming off of Ghost, but it was like there was a big brick wall between us and it made me uncomfortable. Was he like this with everyone?

'How's everything at home, then?' MacTavish asked as they swung open the main doors.

'The last I heard, shit.' I scoffed, following them over towards a bench that had been shoved up against a wall. There was a bucket next to it, so I guessed this was the smoking area. 'Mam's still addicted to drugs, Dad's still an alcoholic and Bonnie's still got the bruises to show for it.' I slumped down heavily and heard the wood creak. I went to fish for my cigarettes in the deep pockets of my black cargo trousers, but a gloved hand was already holding one out for me.

'Uh, thank you.' I muttered nervously to Ghost.

'No problem.' He murmered back, carefully pushing his mask up just past his mouth so he could have a smoke of his own.

'Have you been back since you left for your training?' MacTavish offered me a lighter.

I took a long drag and blew out some smoke rings before replying. 'Only twice. And I've regretted it both times.' I felt a bit awkward talking about this with Ghost here, but MacTavish obviously thought he could be trusted with this if he decided to talk about it now and that was good enough for me.

'There's more you want to tell me.' I closed my eyes at MacTavish's statement.

'Yeah.' I whispered. After a couple more drags, I opened my eyes again and sighed. 'The last time I went back, I walked in on Bonnie writing a suicide note. I managed to talk her out of it of course, but I felt horrible leaving her behind like that. I've not heard anything from any of them since. I'm too scared to find out.' I blew air out of my nose in a feeble attempt at a laugh.

'If I were you, I would write home. You really don't want to live with that kind of guilt.' Ghost spoke suddenly and bitterly. I whipped my head round, away to shoot him down for being so blunt, but he was already up out of his seat and half way back towards the barracks.

'Okay, I'm done. What's his story?' I narrowed my eyes after him. I scolded myself mentally when I suddenly began to marvel in the tightness of his t-shirt and the way it showed off his muscle.

'All we know about Ghost is his name, where he came from and that he has been through things that would make your worst nightmares look like sunshine and rainbows.' MacTavish sighed heavily.

'Why was he even out here?' I had finally lost sight of him, so I began to kick up dust with my combat boots.

'Say what you like about Ghost, but he looks out for his team. He'll just be trying to figure you out. Stop being a muppet and quit your worrying.' He pushed at my face as he threw the rest of his cigarette into the bucket. I grinned, took a couple more puffs and threw mine in after.

We walked back into the barracks and he asked me if I wanted to go and chill out in the rec room with the rest of them. As much as I would have loved to, I really needed some sleep, so I politely declined. After saying our goodnights, I wandered back to my room and flopped down heavily on the bed after pushing my bags out of the way.

I flipped myself onto my back and leaned over to turn on my bedside light. Slowly, I removed the dog tags from around my neck and twirled them between my fingers. I ran my thumb over Aaron's name and closed my eyes, putting myself back to_ that _moment.

_'No, no, no, you aren't dying on me now you son of a bitch.' I dropped to my knees next to Aaron as he pulled off his helmet. _

_'It's not that easy I'm afraid.' He coughed and his face contorted in pain as he clutched at the bullet wound in his chest. 'I'm not coming home with you, and we both know that, so listen up Short Stuff.' He grabbed for my hand and I held it tightly, ignoring the stinging in my eyes. 'You finish what we started here. You're gonna kill that bastard, you're gonna go home, you're gonna tell my family I love them and you're gonna carry on to bigger and better things. Got it?'_

_'Got it.' I whispered round the knot in my throat. _

_'Take these.' Weakly, he yanked his dog tags up and round his head, planting them firmly into the palm of my hand. 'I'll be watching you, Mackenzie, mark my fucking words. You go out and be the best fucking soldier you can be or I'll come back and haunt the shit out of you.' He turned his eyes towards mine and smiled. 'We had a good run though, didn't we?' _

_'We sure did.' I laughed and then cut myself off before I burst into tears. His eyes closed slowly and I bent forward to press my lips to his forehead, resisting the urge to lie down with him and wait to die. I just didn't see the point anymore._

I ripped myself out of my own thoughts and made a weird noise in my throat that sounded like a sob and a gasp. Gosh, would it ever stop hurting? I sat up and laid my elbows on my knees. I saw the dog tags glint from the light of the lamp and I let the floodgates open. I needed to get this over and done with so I could finally feel at peace with everything that had happened that day.

A knock on my door helped slow the tears to dull sniffles. I got to my feet and furiously wiped at my face before going to see who was here.

I was greeted by a broad chest and I slowly looked up, jaw dropping when I saw the balaclava.

'What are you doing here?' Were the first words out of my mouth. When I realised what I had said, I shook my head sharply and corrected myself to, 'What can I help you with, Lieutenant?'

'I was just heading back to my room and I, uh, heard you crying.' He rubbed the back of his neck and only then did I notice that his sunglasses were tucked into the front of his t-shirt. Shyly, I looked up into his eyes and felt my jaw drop again. They were the most piercing, beautiful blue I had ever seen and they immediately filled my stomach with butterflies. I tried to give him a decent reply, but I was concentrating too hard now on regaining a level head.

'Are you alright?' He pressed. I managed a nod and forced myself to smile.

'I'm fine.'

'You didn't sound fine.'

'Yeah, well, shit happens.' I shrugged and leaned a hand on the doorframe. 'Thank you for checking on me, Lieutenant.'

He sighed and shifted his weight, glancing up the corridor before looking back down at me. 'You can call me Ghost. I don't like formalities.'

Somehow, that got a genuine grin out of me. 'Sorry. Thank you for checking on me then... Ghost.' I couldn't be sure, but I got the feeling that behind that mask, he was smirking.

'Goodnight, Mackenzie.'

'You can call me Kenzie. I don't like formalities.' I raised an eyebrow and I definitely knew he smiled at that. It reached his eyes. Instead of responding, he just shook his head and walked away. He had called me by my full name, which meant he had actually taken the time to read my file. The thought made me feel weirdly warm and fuzzy. I peered out after him and watched him enter the room four doors down. I wonder who he bunked with?

Luckily, I didn't have to bunk with anybody and I never would. Unless they recruited another girl. To distract myself, I pondered over having another female on the Task Force. I had worked with a girl called Ali in the first few years of joining, but we both got shipped off to different regiments eventually. I was always meaning to find out where she had went, see how she was doing, but I just never got round to it.

I raked around in my bags and changed into my pyjama ensemble of shorts and an old t-shirt then crawled into bed. After kissing Aaron's dog tags, I laid them down next to my own and turned off the light.

I was absolutely exhausted, but my body just wasn't willing to shut down and let me sleep. I counted sheep, cows and horses until I eventually set my mind on tomorrow and what it would bring. When I finally drifted off to sleep, I had a dream for the first time since losing my friends.

It was a dream of blue eyes and skull balaclava's.


	4. Instinct

I had wanted to wake up early the next morning so I could shower and have breakfast before checking in with Shepherd, but I slept through my first alarm and didn't wake up until half past 7. Really not the best start to my first official day here.

'Oh, fuck.' I groaned as I stumbled out of bed and into the same clothes I was wearing yesterday. I guess I could just shower tonight when the rest of the guys had gone to bed or something. Yeah, I could use a closed stall and everything, but I would still feel better knowing that I wouldn't be disturbed.

My stomach growled loudly as I left my room and I decided to chance trying to get something from the cafeteria before going to find Shepherd. The halls were all empty and I was starting to panic a little when I rounded a corner and banged straight into Archer.

'Nope.' Was all he said, then put a hand on my shoulder and turned me round in the opposite direction. 'Shepherd will rip your face off if you're late on your first day.' He explained while he led me back towards the debriefing room. In a way, I was glad I had run into him because it would've probably taken me a little longer to find my way here and I would've been even more late.

Luckily, we weren't the last two in the room. I flashed General Shepherd a quick, apologetic smile and slumped down into the nearest seat I could see, which just so happened to be in front of Ghost. I really wasn't up for speaking to him this morning after last night and I was still a bit embarrassed that I had actually dreamed about him. Now that was definitely something I didn't want to think about again.

Thankfully, Roach ran in and grabbed the seat next to me and distracted Ghost from any conversation that we could've possibly had. Five minutes after, in walked Meat and Scarecrow, shoving their faces with toast. The glare that Shepherd gave them was enough to have me sinking down even further into my seat. I glanced around for Archer and his eyebrows were raised as he mouthed "Told you so."

'Alright, now that we're all finally here, let's talk business. After that massacre in the airport, we've received intel on an arms-dealer called Alejandro Rojas, but to get to him, we need to find his right hand. Initially, we're unaware of his location, but this is what we've got so far.' I sat up a little when the lights dimmed and Shepherd showed us a projection of on oil-rig. I analysed the entrances, the exits and the corridors, and I couldn't shake the feeling in my gut that something was wrong. Why would they have the assistant of an arms dealer hiding out on an oil rig? Naturally, they should be in the same place.

_Never, ever ignore your instincts, Kenzie. Keep your guard up and stay frosty._

'Captain, choose your team and get back to me by 1700 tonight. You'll be leaving first thing tomorrow morning.' Apparently that was our cue to leave. I rubbed at my stomach as I followed them all out, not sure if it was hurting because I was hungry or because of the bad feeling I was getting.

Thankfully, the cafeteria was almost empty so I had free pick of where to sit and be alone to think. I chose a seat next to the window so I could look out onto the airfield and admire the choppers. I chewed my croissant slowly, mulling over the mission. It would have to be fast and stealthy. You really don't want to stay on an oil rig longer than necessary when there would probably be guns firing all over the place at some point.

I watched a group of seven soldiers board one of the choppers and I found myself wishing that it was me on there instead. I was wary, but I really wanted to go on this mission. I needed to show them what I could do outside The Pit, even if that meant going in on false information.

'Hey.' I jumped at the sudden voice that spoke so close to me.

'Hey.' I pushed out the seat opposite me with my feet, trying to be mature and polite.

'How are you this morning?' Ghost accepted the invitation and sat down, hardly making a sound as he did so. I was starting to understand where his call sign came from.

'Same as always. Fine.' I smirked bitterly and took another bite of my croissant, trying not to look at him directly. 'You?'

'If your definition of fine is anything to go by, then I'm fine too.' He replied without missing a beat. I couldn't help myself after he said that. I laid down my breakfast and turned my head to face him properly. If I looked really closely, I could see the spark of blue behind the sunglasses and again, they made my stomach flutter. I had a feeling he would have a really pretty face, so why did he keep it covered all the time?

'Are you gonna be going to that rig tomorrow then?' I asked eventually, seeing as he had no intention of carrying that conversation any further. I felt like I should tell someone how I was feeling, but if I gave them the slightest hint that I thought this was all going to go to shit, they would think I was scared and that was not the impression I wanted to give them before I had even gone out on my first mission.

'Most likely. I know that Soap's considering taking you as well. The mission's you did with Corporal Williams are quite impressive.' My throat constricted at the mention of Aaron and I had to look away again. I hadn't spoken his name out loud since Afghan, and I had only heard one other person speak it, and that was the man that had conducted the memorial service.

'Yeah, they were good.' I eventually choked out, narrowing my eyes at the sky to try and hide the tears I could feel coming on.

'I'm sorry about what happened.' From the corner of my eye, I saw Ghost lift his sunglasses for a second while he looked outside again, watching one of the trucks pull away. 'It's a bitch when you lose someone like that.'

My interest piqued when his words registered and I wanted to stay and see if he would open up a little more, but I knew that if he did, it was going to get heavy and I couldn't handle that right now, not when I had to focus on more important things.

'I have to go.' I blurted while I pushed my chair back abruptly. 'Thanks for keeping me company. See ya around.' I gave a stiff wave and all but ran from the cafeteria. I found the bathroom as quick as I could and locked myself in one of the stalls. I flipped down the lid of the seat and sat down onto it, burying my head in my hands.

_Now who's the rude one? Stop being a bitch and make some friends. I told you this would happen one day, Z. _I could almost hear Aaron laughing at me now and I wished he was here so I could punch him in the face and have him tell me what to do.

I sat in the same position for what must have been a good fifteen minutes before deciding I would go and find Ozone, Toad or Archer and see if they were still up for doing some training.

By another stroke of luck, they were leaving the rec room as I was away to enter it. Their loud laughter at their own stupid jokes was enough to take my mind off of everything for a while and their excitement for training with a girl was even better. It wasn't until I had the gun in my hands and was shooting at the targets that I realised this was exactly where I needed to be right now.

* * *

***Ghosts POV***

****** I couldn't believe what I was hearing when Soap told me that the FNG was a girl. _A girl!_ I thought Shepherd had finally gone insane, but then I heard about her time in The Pit and decided that I should maybe give her the benefit of the doubt. I had ran it in 18 seconds, ranking up the second best time next to Soap, so it really wasn't fair if I was to judge every newbie by that.

She was a pretty little thing, I would give her that one too. When Soap had walked into the rec room with her, it really did come as a shock. Her long dark blonde hair was sweeped up in a high ponytail and her eyes were a beautiful shade of brown, almost like caramel, but they held so much pain. Anybody who couldn't see it was an idiot.

She was so small compared to my 6"2, but it didn't make me think of her as an annoying little pest that would just get in my way like FNG's usually do. It made me want to protect her.

I had just finished reading her file when I was walking back to my room and heard her crying. With her information fresh in my mind, my heart broke at the sound. I wanted to help her, I just didn't know how. Hell, I barely knew how to speak to her.

The next day, I planted the seed into Soap's mind that we should take her with us on the mission. I knew he thought highly of her and I put it down to wanting to see her in action, but the truth is that I just wanted the chance to spend time with her in an environment where I knew how to act and I knew what to say.

The great thing about my mask was how much I could cover up with it. I could look emotionless all the time if I wanted to, and that was exactly how I wanted to look when Soap came into the rec room that night and told us who was all gearing up to go to the rig.

From behind my shades, I watched Kenzie carefully and I saw her light up and slap her hand into Roach's before turning to look at me. Her smile slipped slightly and I nodded once to keep her happy. She seemed scared of me, and I hated knowing that.

I didn't know what I was feeling. I didn't know what I was thinking. I didn't know what I was doing. All I knew is that I would make this girl better again, no matter the cost. ******


	5. Set Up

'Thank you for picking me to come along.' I was sitting inside the chopper with my legs crossed, while MacTavish loaded our weapons onboard.

'Not a problem. You still need to prove yourself to these guys, and there's no point in waiting to do that.' He shrugged and threw in another bag. 'Have you got a call sign yet? Don't really wanna go into a mission using your real name.'

'Well, Toad said Jinx because I managed to jinx Archer and make him shut up for an hour, which was great, but Ozone said Blitz because... because of Afghan.' I sighed and picked at a loose thread on the lace of my boots. 'He said he can't believe I managed to walk out of a place that got completely blitzed.'

'I like them both.' MacTavish carried on like my tone hadn't changed. 'We'll see what the rest of them say, but personally, I would go for Blitz.' He cast me a meaningful look that made my brow furrow.

_It's the thing that stands out most about you, idiot._

'Oh.' I whispered. If I took that call sign I would have to face up to what had happened every single day and maybe that was a good thing. I couldn't live the rest of my life not thinking or talking about it. They looked at me and saw a survivor, and that's what they wanted to brand me as. Why was I shying away from that?

Before I could think about it anymore, I heard someone yell "Ow!" and leaned my head out to find the source. I smiled when I saw Roach, Chemo and Ghost walking towards us. Chemo was rubbing the side of his face, which was starting to turn red and Roach was in hysterics.

'Children.' MacTavish muttered under his breath as he hauled himself up into a seat. I pushed myself up from the floor and slid into the seat by the door, buckling up. I hadn't had a chance to apologise to Ghost for yesterday and it was starting to gnaw at me, so I was going to swallow my pride now and just get it over with.

He was the first one in out of the three and I reached out my hand before I could change my mind. 'Hey, I just wanted to say sorry about being weird yesterday.'

'No worries.' He nodded and took the seat next to MacTavish. I tried not to think about how content I felt knowing that he wasn't pissed off at me. I had been in the military for about six years now and not once had I ever looked for a relationship with any of the men I worked with. It wasn't why I joined, so I didn't care. There had been the one or two that had offered me to just fool around, but I politely refused. I just wasn't that kind of girl. I had always tried my hardest to distance myself from any sort of relationship, so what the hell was I feeling when it came to Ghost?

Once everyone was in and belted up securely, the chopper took off. My stomach lurched sickeningly as we began to rise, but when I watched the scenery change and melt away to a sprawling sheet of water, it settled and I relaxed into my seat.

MacTavish cleared his throat twenty minutes into the journey and broke the silence. 'So... We have two choices for Kenzie's call sign...'

* * *

'Blitz, are you in position?' The soft Scottish accent floated through the comm and into my ear.

'Yep.' I whispered back, tightening the grip on my knife when Aaron's voice drifted through my head. _Alright_ _then, Short Stuff. Time to show them what you're made of._

'Go.' Without hesitation, I slipped through the doorway of the office and silently crept up behind the guard who was monitoring the camera's. Before he could sense that I was here, I took hold of his shoulder and slit his throat.

'Tango down.' I muttered into the comm.

'Good work.' The British accent I heard next made me glow, but I tried not to get too proud of myself yet. This was only the beginning.

I was coming out of the office when I caught sight of a shadow round the corner. I plastered myself back against the door and readjusted my knife so I could get a clean stab to the neck. I lunged the second I saw him walk in, but he caught my wrist in one hand with ease.

'It's only me.' Ghost hissed when he let me go.

'Sorry.' I cringed. 'You could've said you were coming in.'

'I'm the tech specialist, where else would I be going?' He shook his head and stepped around me to get to the computers. 'Soap, are you clear?'

'Affirmative. Breaching now.' I pulled up my silenced ACR and crouched at the door, scoping out the platform. I leaned round to check that nobody was trying to sneak round the side and got back down into position.

'What are you still doing here, Blitz?' Ghost asked casually.

Trying to sound as equally nonchalant, I replied, 'Someone has to cover your sorry ass when you're doing that.' I heard him chuckle and I grinned, glad that we were making some sort of progress. I had been on bad terms with a superior before, all because I stole a kill from him once while we were doing a raid. In my defence, he had misjudged his timing and if I hadn't shot the enemy soldier first, I wouldn't have had a Captain to take orders from.

'Three hostages, all dead.' Soap's voice came in loud and clear and I cursed quietly. 'They know we're here. Ghost, knock out their security now and get onto the top floors. We don't have much time.' _I was right._

'I'm going as fast as I can!' Ghost replied angrily. I wanted to tell him that getting pissed off wouldn't making the software run any faster, but I didn't want to risk pushing him over the line. 'Blitz, check the perimiter, I'm almost done.' Cautiously, I jogged over to a supply crate beneath one of the ladders, but before I could confirm if we were clear or not, there was a sharp, loud bang and I lost my eyesight and my hearing.

'Flashbang!' I yelled as I crouched and covered my face with one arm. All I could do was pray that I was managing to get enough cover behind this crappy wooden crate. My ears were ringing and I shook my head twice, trying to rid myself of the effects as quickly as I could.

My vision came back to me first and I blinked rapidly, trying to clear the blurry lines. Then I heard the gunfire.

'A little help here!' An empty mag dropped down by my foot and I turned to see Ghost standing next to me, holding off the guards. _Thank him later_. I thought as I jumped up and fired towards the first head I saw poking out from round a corner. 'Push forward!' He shoved at my back and I did as I was told, sprinting towards the guy I had just gunned down. Bullets whizzed by my head and I ducked behind the nearest box I could find. I wasted no time in pin pointing the one who was shooting and taking him out. For safe measure, I threw a flashbang of my own further into the room before fully coming out from behind cover and squeezing the trigger. One behind a crate near the end of the room - bang. One emerging from a door upstairs - bang. One by the window - bang.

'Room clear.' I said into the comm, checking behind me for Ghost. He shot past me and thundered up the stairs. I scowled and ran after him, keeping a close eye for any suspicious movement.

'Breaching the upstairs office.' Ghost spoke through the comm and waved me over. 'Set the charge.' I absolutely hated setting up C4. I was always scared that I would screw it up somehow and blow myself to pieces before I even planted the damn thing.

I tried not to look relieved when I did everything right. I turned away when the door exploded so I didn't get any splinters of wood in the face before swinging round into the room and shooting the first four enemy soliders I saw. On the floor were two hostages that I immediately dropped down next to. With my knife, I cut away the rope binding together their hands and feet and let them pull the duct tape off their mouths by themselves.

'Thank you, thank you!' The woman sobbed and threw her arms round Ghost's neck. He froze and I could just tell that he was staring down at me with wide eyes. I grinned in return at how clueless he was.

'Do either of you know anything about two men called Vladimir Makarov or Alejandro Rojas?' I asked as I reloaded my gun, deciding I should say something to stop him feeling so uncomfortable. The woman shook her head and wiped at her face. I turned to the man and I knew instantly that he was going to run. His face paled at the mention of the Russian and his eyes were darting around, searching wildly for an exit. I wasn't the only one that noticed how shifty he had become, apparently.

'Don't even think about it.' Ghost growled, walking forward and aiming his gun at the man's head. 'Soap, we got him. Do we know how many more hostages are on board?'

'One more room to clear. We're on it. Make your way out to the LZ with our guy.'

'Roger that.' Ghost then nodded his head towards the woman. 'Blitz, make sure she doesn't die. Probably has family that are worried sick about her. Come on.' I heard the edge that entered his voice when he spoke of family and I wondered what the story behind that was.

I followed him out of the room and made sure the woman stayed as close to me as she could at all times. We were hurrying up stairs to get to the helipad when I heard the clang of bullets hitting the metal of the steps we were on.

My head reflexively dipped to avoid incoming fire, but I remembered my job and pointed towards Ghost. 'Don't let him out of your sights and stay right behind him, okay? Go!' I yelled at the woman. Panic flashed across her face, but she nodded anyway and picked up her pace.

As I turned, I fished a grenade out of my belt and yanked the pin out with my teeth before throwing it back down towards the enemy. I heard it bounce twice on the stairs before exploding. I hadn't managed to get away fast enough and got thrown forwards by the force, smashing my head against one of the steps.

Blinking against the stars popping in front of my eyes, I struggled to my feet and fired behind me haphazardly. I was away to turn up onto the next level when I felt a sharp, stinging pain tear through my right arm. I cried out in pain and forced myself to keep running, knowing it wasn't critical.

'Soap, where are you?' I yelled, stopping momentarily to twist and kick one of the guards over the side of the railing when he went in for a melee attack.

'On our way.'

'Hurry.' Was all I said, pushing myself to sprint faster. It seemed to take me ten times longer to reach the LZ, and when I did, my stomach dropped when I looked up and couldn't see any sign of our chopper.

I jogged over to Ghost and almost collapsed down next to him. 'I'm hit.'

'Is it deep?' He asked, gently taking hold of my arm so he could inspect it for himself. 'And why is your head bleeding?'

'Don't think so, but it fucking hurts.' I spat, spotting a head bob up and go to fire his gun. With an annoyed sigh, I lifted my gun and got him with a headshot. 'And I just tripped going up the stairs. I'm okay. Listen, our intel was off. Whatever's going on here, we're not meant to be leaving alive.' It was starting to hurt to hold my weapon properly, so I shrugged out of my armour and jacket and took out my knife. Before he could ask how I knew any of that, I waved my hand vaguely and said, 'Cover me for a moment, please.' I was surprised when Ghost actually listened and crouched in front of the three of us, watching the stairs that we had just run up.

As quick as I could, I cut off a piece of my t-shirt and wrapped it round the hole in my arm. I was away to use my teeth to tie the knot, but the woman we had saved was nice enough to offer to do it for me. Once it was secure, I yanked back on my armour and jacket, feeling ready to fight fit again.

I was away to tell Ghost that I was done when the sound of a chopper coming in cut me off. I shielded my eyes and looked up.

'Chopper inbound! Where are you, Soap?' Ghost had to shout over the whirring of the rotars.

'Be right with you!' I felt the entire rig shudder suddenly and my heart jumped up into my throat. What had they done? The chopper was coming in to land and we backed away slightly to give it room. I glanced over towards the male hostage and he looked even paler than he did inside. A part of me felt sorry for him knowing how scared he must be right now.

The ground beneath us shook again and my immediate reaction was to reach out and grab Ghost's wrist. He looked down at me sharply and I blushed, letting him go and muttering an apology.

We got the two hostages on board first before jumping in ourselves. I leaned out as far as I could and strained for a sign of Soap, Roach or Chemo.

'We have to go, old man!' It was my turn to yell down the comm at them. Just as I was away to scream at them again, I saw a mop of brown hair, then Soap's trademark mohawk.

'Where's Chemo?' Ghost barked at Roach and MacTavish as they jumped on board. Seconds later, Chemo appeared at the top of the steps. He had his arm round another man's waist, helping him along. Just as they got on board, the chopper took off and we left the rig behind. I glanced back at what we had just left behind and I couldn't believe what I saw. Through the hair that the wind was whipping into my face, I watched as the bottom level exploded, starting a chain reaction of smaller ones throughout the entire platform. By the fifth boom, the entire thing blew sky high.

* * *

On the way back to the base, Ghost asked how I knew about the wrong leads and all I could do was shrug and tell them that it all just seemed too odd. I thought I would've gotten a warning for not giving them a heads up, but they were actually more impressed with the fact that I had still gone through with the mission knowing that something bad was most likely going to happen... Which it did.

Turns out that MacTavish had figured out what was going on as well, and that's why he planted explosives of his own. Shepherd wasn't happy about it to begin with, but then he realised that Makarov might think that he won and most of us were dead. If that was the case, a bunch of new leads would pop up and we would be in for a chance of finally being able to catch him.

'You're a crazy bastard, you know that?' I said through gritted teeth. MacTavish had come to tell us what Shepherd said while I was getting seen to by Ghost in the rec room. He had just finished cleaning the blood off my face and I was now having to hold an ice pack to the lump that was forming while he started tending the bullet hole in my arm. Luckily, I didn't have to go the medical bay since none of my injuries were severe, so instead I get to spend some lovely bonding time with my dear Lieutenant.

'It's part of the job requirement.' He chuckled and stood up. 'Well I'm going to turn in now. I'm beat. See you guys in the morning.' He patted my head and made his exit, leaving me and Ghost alone again. The atmosphere in the room instantly shifted and I hoped I was the only one that felt it.

'Thanks for covering me... Twice.' I hissed as he dabbed some more antiseptic on my arm. The bullet had just grazed me instead of going straight through, but it still manged to take out a small chunk of flesh in the process. It wasn't the first time this had happened, and it probably wouldn't be the last, but it was definitely the sorest I had experienced to date.

'It's part of the job requirement.' He quoted MacTavish and I tried not to laugh as he finished cleaning up my arm.

'You acted pretty scared when that woman hugged you.' I said without thinking. I mentally kicked myself and added, 'It was funny.'

'Well it was a bit of a surprise and I'm not exactly used to things like that, so yeah, I guess you could say I was a little scared.' He explained in a gruff tone as he got ready to stitch me up.

'You're not used to hugs?'

'In case you failed to notice, this entire Task Force is male, except you now of course. None of us are really into hugging each other.'

'No girlfriends?' I knew I was treading in dangerous territory, but he had so many walls built up that I wanted to get through.

'Chemo and Ozone were dating people the last I heard, but I'm not sure if that worked out or not. Most of us don't see the point in getting girlfriends in our line of work. Sorry, this might hurt.' The first prick from the needle made me gasp, but I could cope. Getting stitches didn't really bother me anymore.

'I know what you mean. About not getting into a relationship when this is your job.' I sighed and shook my head a little. 'I used to get told I was uptight by some of the guys in my old squadron, but... I dunno.' I huffed and watched Ghost carefully knit my skin back together. I ended up studying his balaclava, wondering why he never took it off. I figured that asking something like that would be crossing some sort of line at the minute, so I bit my tongue.

'It's just not worth the hassle, right?' He summed it up in a sentence after a few minutes of silence.

'Yeah.' I murmered and looked down at my boots. 'I'm scared I meet the right person one day, though, cause I don't wanna throw away the rest of my life over a job.'

'You could die first.'

'Morbid!' I lightly kicked at his leg and I saw his eyes crinkle in a smile behind his glasses. I was starting to not feel so awkward or tense around him and I think it was a good thing. It was about time I started coming out of my shell here.

'Is that Aaron's dog tags you're wearing?' He said randomly. I went to snap at him and tell him to mind his own fucking business but then I saw the face of my old friend raising an eyebrow and shaking his head at me and I took a moment to collect myself before replying.

'It is, yeah. How'd you know?'

'Two chains. And by the looks of it, you two were close.'

'We were.' I hardly felt the tugging in my arm anymore.

_Don't bottle it up, Z. He's given you the perfect opening. Talk to him. _

I swallowed hard and inahled deeply. 'He was my best friend. He was the first one to talk to me like a normal person when I first started out. We just... We just clicked, I guess. He was the closest thing I had to family and now he's gone.' I swiped away a stray tear that had leaked from the corner of my eye. 'He took the bullet for me in Afghan. I should've been the one they buried, not him.'

'I'm sorry.' For once, Ghost's voice was soft and compassionate. It was strange to hear. 'I lost my family too... I guess you could say that I know how you feel.'

'Sorry to hear that.' I peeked up at him through my lashes. His damn mask was giving absolutely nothing away at all, so I couldn't even read his expression. I wasn't going to push and ask what happened. If he wanted to talk, he would. I got the impression that he was the kind of person that only opened up when he felt like he wanted to, not when other people forced him to.

'They were all slaughtered... It was so stupid...' He shook his head. 'The only thing that helps there is knowing that I managed to get my hand's on the bastard who did it.' I heard the gentle snip of a scissors, then felt him gently pat my arm. 'Done.'

'I'm glad you did.' I jumped off the table and dusted myself down. 'At least they didn't die in vain, right? I'm sure they'd be proud of you.' I glanced up and saw him staring down at me, not saying anything. It was intimidating to an extent and I gave a shaky laugh, resisting the urge to back away from him. 'What?'

He coughed suddenly and whirled round to tidy up the med kit. 'Nothing.' I grinned at his back and tucked my hair behind my ear.

'I think I'm gonna head off now too.' I managed to say before a huge yawn shuddered through me. 'Thanks again for everything you've done today, and um, thank you for listening.' He turned his head slightly and I shrugged shyly. 'You're the only person I've spoken to about Aaron since he died. I needed it, so thanks. Goodnight, Ghost.' I offered him a small wave before heading towards the door.

'Kenzie?' My hand stilled on the handle when he said my name. It sounded so brilliant and exotic on his tongue - I loved it way more than I should've.

'Yeah?'

'Thank you for listening to me too.'

'Any time.' I flashed him a grin and left him alone with his thoughts. I all but skipped back to my room, on an unbelievable high from the short time I had just spent with Ghost. I really had no idea where I stood with him, but it obviously wasn't a bad place if he had just let me see through the tiniest of windows into his life. My heart went out to him for his family, though. I hated mine and I never wanted to see my parents again, but at least they were still alive. I couldn't even imagine what I would do if I found out they had been killed.

I hoped that one day he would tell me everything, and if things kept going the way they were, I had a feeling that that day would come around a lot faster than we both thought.


	6. Joy Ride

MacTavish had ordered me to take it easy for the next few days while my injuries healed themselves, so naturally I kicked up a fuss about that. He had said I wasn't even allowed to go out and train with the guys, so I was refined to my dorm or the rec room. Both sucked right now.

I was trying to amuse myself on the second day of being basically grounded, so I went to check out the armoury. I had managed to sneak into the one at my old base and I was impressed then, but the Task Force one really put that to shame. There was equipment in here that I didn't even know existed, to be totally honest.

I gave myself 15 minutes to look around before grudgingly leaving. I didn't want to be caught down there unauthorized by Shepherd or one of his men. I closed the door quietly and tip-toed all the way down the corridor. I took special care in opening the main door, just in case MacTavish was in his office, then made my way over to the smoking bench. I was considering going to find a good place to relax and work on my tan when one of the trucks screeched to a halt in front of me.

'Hey, Blitz, has Soap still got you under house arrest?' Roach pulled off his black mask to grin at me as he leaned an elbow on the side of the truck.

'Yeah.' I pouted and threw my cigarette into the bucket.

'Damn. It would be a real shame if you missed out on driving one of these babies.' He patted the door and winked at me. I gave it about two seconds thought before jumping up and climbing in. Roach cheered and threw his mask towards me. 'That's more like it!'

As soon as he stepped on the gas, I almost regretted getting into the damn truck with him. He was crazy! I wasn't even sure if he knew how to drive this thing properly himself.

'_Hold on_!' He yelled suddenly. He didn't need to tell me twice. He hauled on the handbrake and yanked the wheel to the right, spinning us in a complete circle. The truck rocked once when it stopped and I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

'Oh, come on, you can't say that wasn't fun.' He grinned, running his fingers through his dark brown hair and making it stick up even more than it already was. I gauged my emotions and concluded that I was definitely pumped with more adrenaline than I was terrified.

'That wasn't fun.' I sighed dramatically and flipped my hair.

'You are such a liar.' He laughed and opened his door.

'Where are you going?'

'I'm letting you drive, Short Stuff. Budge over.' He replied while making his way round the back. I couldn't respond to his words though. I couldn't even move. Had he just called me...?

_Oh my god, get over it, Kenzie! Other people are allowed to call you that too, not just me. You believe in things like this don't you? Take it as a sign or whatever you used to call that shit._

'Do I actually have to drag you out?' Roach laughed.

'Uh, no, sorry.' I shook my head sharply and forced a small laugh. I slid over into the drivers side and adjusted the seat. I realised I still had Roach's mask gripped tightly in my hand and put in on after glancing over at him. He hadn't even realised yet. 'It's pretty reckless of you letting me drive this after I got a head injury on the rig.' I said innocently.

'Wait, what?' He yelped. Grinning, I took the hand brake off and stomped down on the gas. I was just away to show him that he wasn't the only one who could do doughnuts when I saw Ghost standing right in the middle of my course. I slammed two feet down onto the brake pedal and held back a burst of laughter when Roach almost went through the windscreen.

Calmly, Ghost walked round to the drivers side and pulled off the mask I was still wearing. I scratched my cheek and gave a weak chuckle. 'Howdy there, partner.' I greeted him in the worst American accent I had ever heard myself produce.

'What the hell are you doing?'

'I was um, going for a smoke then Roach came over and told me that he would shoot me for real if I didn't take the truck for a joy ride.'

'Hey, that's not entirely true!' Roach whined.

Ghost took off his sunglasses so he could pinch the bridge of his nose. 'Mackenzie, you are meant to be resting.'

'Okay, fine! I got bored, alright? I was actually having a smoke and Roach actually did come over in the truck. I just wanted to do something!' I felt my bottom lip slide out in a childish pout and decided to fold my arms across my chest in an even more childish manner. 'And don't call me Mackenzie.'

'I can call you whatever I want to call you.' His eyes flashed down to mine and I bit down on my tongue to stop myself from gasping at the intensity of them. 'If you really want to get out and do something, make sure it's not so bloody dangerous. A few of us are going down to the bar later, you can come along.' He paused and pointed at Roach. 'As long as you promise not to go joy riding with him again. More chance of getting yourself killed doing that than anything else.'

'You taught me how to drive these, don't forget that!' Roach retorted as he jumped out. 'Can I come to the bar too?'

'If you must.' Ghost rolled his eyes and opened the door for me.

'Who says chivalry is dead?' I quipped, smirking up at him.

'Shut it.' He growled, getting behind the wheel and sending me away with Roach. He took his mask back from me and shoved it into the back pocket of his trousers. We wandered around for a bit before settling in the rec room with a pack of cards.

'He likes you, ya know.' He commented randomly.

I frowned and looked over my shoulder at a couple of the guys playing pool. I think their names were Royce and Worm, I wasn't too sure. 'Who?'

'Not them! Ghost.'

'What do you mean?'

'I don't know. It might just be because you're a girl, but he's a lot nicer to you than he is to most FNG's. I thought we were totally screwed when he caught us out there.' He laughed and rubbed a hand over his mouth. 'But nope. Instead we both got invited out for drinks with the big boys!'

'Please stop talking.' I sighed and threw in one of my cards. I ended up getting bored of playing cards really quickly, so he sat back and thought for a minute.

'Want to do something scary?' He asked. I rolled my head round to look at him and his brown eyes were glittering with excitement. It was now clearly obvious that he was the biggest troublemaker around here, but I found myself not giving a damn. If it meant he was saving me from going out and shooting myself in the face just for something to do, I didn't mind.

After I had agreed to this something scary, he took me to MacTavish's office. We stood outside for a few moments, just staring at the wood. Somehow, I didn't think he would be too happy if he found us snooping around here.

'Is this a good idea?' I whispered.

'No.' He shook his head, but tried the handle anyway. It swung open easily and I held my breath, waiting to hear shouting, but there was only silence. 'Come on.' He hissed. I crept inside and closed the door gently behind me. Roach clicked on the desk lamp and walked over to the far wall. 'Check this out.'

A floorboard creaked when I went to see what he was pointing at and I cringed. This was so stupid and we were so going to get caught. I followed the direction of his finger and a smile spread across my lips as I took down the photo.

'What was Operation Kingfish? And who are they?' I pointed to the two people in between MacTavish and Ghost. One of them was old and wore a funny hat and the other seemed to be taking his job way too seriously.

'Operation Kingfish was a mission that some of us did a few years back to catch Makarov. Turns out that he knew we were going to be there. It was a trap. Whole place exploded with us inside. Soap got wounded when we were leaving, and this guy here,' he pointed to the old man, 'stayed behind to make sure we all got out safely. Captain John Price. Presumably K.I.A, but you never could tell what that crazy old coot had up his sleeve. Oh, and the other one is Sandman.'

'Why aren't you in the picture?' I wondered out loud as I looked at it a little longer.

'Um, that's a good question.' He chuckled and I heard his boots clunk across the wooden floor away from me. I wanted to see where he was going, but I was just so taken by this picture. Captain John Price... _Price_... I had heard that name. I knew this man... How the hell did I know John Price?


	7. Pay Up

Roach had found a photo album that was only half full and we spent a good 30 minutes looking through them all. He would explain the story behind the ones I took a particular interest in and I would laugh and try to imagine what it would have been like if I had been there.

The last one we looked at was a close-up of Ghost. His mask was up over his mouth and he had a cigarette hanging from his lips. There was a scar there that I hadn't noticed the time we were out on the smoking bench with MacTavish. It ran from the corner of his mouth, past his jaw and down his neck.

'Did he know this was taken?' I asked, unable to hide my amusement.

'Nope. I almost died when he found out though.' Roach snorted at the memory.

'Have you ever seen him without his balaclava on?' I tilted my head and tried to picture what he would look like. It was near impossible, to be honest.

'The only one that has is Soap, I think. Maybe Price, I'm not too sure. Ghost has a lot of things he wants to hide. I guess the mask helps him do just that.' He slid the book out of my hands and closed it with a dull thud.

'What kind of things?' Now I was curious. MacTavish had seemed reluctant to tell me, but maybe Roach would just open his mouth and talk without thinking.

He sighed when he put the album back in it's place. 'Look, Blitz, it's really not my job to tell you that. Some people are better off staying oblivious, to be honest. All you need to know about Ghost is that he's dark. Too dark, sometimes. Don't tell him I said that though.'

I tried not to show my frustration. 'I'll find out eventually.'

'Whatever you say, little one.' He patted my head as he passed and I narrowed my eyes.

'You have three seconds before I pat your head straight into the ground.' I threatened.

'Ooooooh! Fiesty!' He mocked. I raised a fist and he shot off down the corridor. I grinned and closed the door to MacTavish's office. My new plan was to go and see if the shower room was free and start getting ready for later.

'That better not have been my office I just saw you two come out of, lass.'

I groaned and hung my head. 'It really isn't what it looks like.'

'Care to explain then?'

Slowly, I shuffled round until I was facing MacTavish. 'I got bored again, so Roach was showing me that photo album you have in there. We weren't snooping! I was genuinely curious and... I actually have a question for you.' I peered up through my lashes and saw his hard expression soften.

'As long as you weren't fooling around with that little bug.' He scoffed and waved me back into his office. 'I know what he's like, you just watch yourself around him.'

'Like I don't know how to get rid of unwanted male attention.' I rolled my eyes and grinned, skipping over and hopping up to sit on his desk. He opened his mouth like he was away to tell me to get down, but he closed it again and just sighed. 'Anyway, what are you wanting to know?'

I pointed towards the picture of Operation Kingfish, which we had put back up on his pin board. 'Why do I know Captain John Price?' I watched as MacTavish walked over and took the photo down. I gave him a moment, happy with just swinging my legs and gawking around.

'You know Price because I told you about what happened in Ukraine. I told you all about him.' I glanced up and saw that he was still staring at the picture. 'What a guy he was. You told me that you'd like to meet him one day and I really, really wish you could've.' He heaved a huge sigh and pinned the picture back up.

My brow furrowed and I racked my brain, trying to remember that conversation.

'He wanted to meet you too, you know.' MacTavish came over and leaned on his desk next to me. 'He felt bad for you. Always pushed at me to go back and get you, but I just never had the chance.'

'You know, there is still the possibility that he isn't dead.' I put an arm round him and rubbed his back comfortingly.

'Aye, you're right, lass.' He sighed again and pushed himself away from the desk. 'Moving swiftly on, though... Who said you were allowed to go out tonight?'

'My Lieutenant.' I grinned proudly and jumped down.

'Well I'm your Captain. What if I say no?'

'But you won't because you love me and feel sorry for me. I'm away to get ready. I'll see you later!' Before he could chase me up about it, I walked away from him quickly. I didn't run into anyone on the way back to my room, and I didn't meet anyone on the way to the showers thankfully.

I pushed open the door slowly, taking a cautious step in. I listened and didn't hear the rushing of water, so I figured I was all good. I flounced in freely now, fetching myself a towel. I turned back round and was away to step into one of the stalls when I caught a bare chest rounding the side of it.

'Oh my God, I'm sorry, I wasn't looking, I promise!' I shrieked, jumping away and covering my eyes.

'Don't worry about it. Just keep your eyes covered, okay?'

'Ghost?' Dammit, now I really wanted to open my eyes. There was no way he was wearing his mask right now, he had just come out from having a shower, for crying out loud.

'The one and only. Want me to make sure nobody walks in on you?'

I was quiet for a second, mulling it over. 'You would do that?'

'Of course. You're the only female soldier here and if some of these guys know you're having a shower, well... It's self-explanatory.' A warm feeling pooled in my chest at his words and I felt my cheeks go red as I smiled.

'If you don't mind listening to my awful singing, sure.' I heard him laugh once and then silence. I waited for a minute or two before cracking open my fingers and checking to see if he was still there. He wasn't. I couldn't even be angry at him for leaving like that.

I really enjoyed my shower knowing that nobody would interrupt me. I felt self-conscious at first knowing that Ghost was just outside the door, but I eventually forgot he was there and began to sing away to myself.

'_This is all that I need, when nothing is real, you are my truth. In the darkness you shine, can you keep me safe tonight_?' I sang the first set of lyrics that came to my mind and gasped when I realised what was coming out of my mouth. If he could hear through the door, he wouldn't think I was singing that for him, would he? Instead of getting myself worked about nothing, I started to sing another song that I held close to my heart ever since Afghan. Every single word described losing Aaron and it gave me some sort of comfort to an extent.

'_Sleep_ _well, my friend, there will be another moment we'll meet again, just let it go. Sleep well, goodnight, you're something to remember, I wish that you were by my side_.' As usual, I cried, but I didn't let myself go when I did. I controlled myself and by the time I felt clean and refreshed, I also felt happy and excited again, just like he would want.

I dumped my towel into the laundry basket and bounced out of the shower room. A part of me was still surprised that Ghost had actually stuck to what he said and stood guard. He must've left for a few minutes though, because he was now wearing a t-shirt and the balaclava. Damn.

'You stayed.' I raised my eyebrows.

'I said I would.' He shrugged. 'And for the record, your singing isn't awful.' I saw his eyes crinkle as he smiled and left me hanging again. I stared down the hall after him and tried to wrap my head around the way he acted.

Oh, Ghost. The dark, mysterious, charming Ghost... 

* * *

'There's absolutely no way in hell that you can down a pint. Look at the size of you, Blitz.'

'Care to put your money where your mouth is?'

'Gladly! Twenty bucks says you can't do it.'

'You're on, bug.' I slapped my hand into Roach's and grabbed his drink off of him. I didn't think as I tilted the glass back and sucked it all down in one go. I absolutely hated beer, but for twenty bucks and to prove him wrong, I would damn well do this. After about 15 excruciating seconds, I slammed the empty glass back down on the bar and nodded triumphantly.

'Pay up.' I wiped my mouth as daintily as I could.

'Well, shit.' He sighed and handed me a twenty dollar bill.

'Thank you!' I chirped, sliding off the bar stool and going over to see who was winning the game of pool between Ghost and MacTavish. I had subconciously dressed myself to impress tonight, and I was glad that it had gone kind of unnoticed. It was simple, but fancy. Just plain black skinny jeans and a gold halter top that showed a little bit of cleavage. I had straightened my hair and put on some make-up too, even fishing out a pair of black high heels. I liked to dress up and actually feel like a girl sometimes - so sue me!

'Look what I just won.' I fanned myself with the twenty Roach had given up.

'What did you do?' Ghost asked, still managing to aim up his shot precisely and pot the ball he had his eye on. He looked nice tonight, but he still insisted on wearing his mask and glasses. Occasionally, he would take the glasses off, but that was about his stretch. I was more taken with his tight white tank top that really, really showed off how fit he was. I knew I shouldn't be thinking things like that about my Liuetenant, but there was just something about him that was different.

'I downed his drink when he said I couldn't.'

MacTavish laughed and took his shot. 'Don't go getting yourself too drunk, remember, we're not going to carry you home.'

'You say that now, old man.' I stuck out my tongue and ran off. Half way across the bar, I heard him yell, "Stop calling me old!" I got back to the rest of them just as Archer was ordering a round of shots.

'So, Ghost was telling me that you two had girlfriends?' I asked Chemp and Ozone after we had knocked back the shots.

'Well, I ended mine.' Chemo wiped the back of his hand across his mouth. 'It just wasn't working. She couldn't handle not knowing whether or not I was going to die every other day.' I nodded in understanding and Ozone smiled.

'I'm still going strong with mine.'

'Okay, I think it's time you told us who the fuck she actually is.' Archer spun round and set accusing eyes on his friend.

'Alright, buy us all one more round and I'll tell you.' It eventually came out that Ozone's mysterious girlfriend that apparently nobody knew was actually one of the nurses in the medical bay, Alice. They told me that he'd been keeping her secret for a while now, but now they thought about it, it really was so obvious. There's only so many trips someone can take to go see the nurses in a week.

Further on through the night, I had got talking to a couple of Irish guys who were over on a business trip. The one with the short hair was a really good laugh, but his friend with the glasses... Not so much. He was getting progressively more drunk, which meant he was getting more touchy feely and obnoxious. Whenever he got too close, I either stepped away or pushed him back and ignored the fact that he was even breathing around me. Eventually, I turned and searched for the familiar faces of my friends and tried not to sigh in relief when I saw Toad wave me back over.

'I better get back to my own lot.' I pointed my thumb over my shoulder and smiled apologetically at the one with the short hair, who's name I never caught. 'It was nice talking to you!' I was away to leave without saying bye to the one with the glasses, but when I turned my back to them, I felt him grab my ass and fall into me, laughing hysterically. Now pinned against the bar, I didn't exactly know what to do. Normally, I would've headbutted him, but I really didn't want to break his glasses, so I lifted up my knee into his gut and shoved him back as hard as I could.

'You bitch!' He snarled, his happy-go-lucky attitude vanishing in an instant. When I pushed him, he had knotted one of his hands in my hair, pulling me down with him. The breath rushed from me when I hit the ground and a spike of anger hit me. Okay, now I would break his glasses without caring.

'Oi!' Looks like I didn't need to. Brushing my hair from my face, I saw MacTavish haul him up by the back of his shirt and I smirked. A hand was shoved in front of my face and I looked up to see Ghost's balaclava. I put my hand in his and let him pull me up. Now that I was back on my feet in front of the Irish man, he went to lunge towards me again, but MacTavish yanked him away at the same time I stepped back into Ghost. I jumped, and I was going to apologise and move, but I bit my tongue when I felt his arm wrap protectively round my waist.

'Is there a problem?' The nice Irish one came over to see what had just happened.

'Aye, your stupid little friend here.' MacTavish let go of his collar and threw him away. Ghost's arm tightened and he moved me back a few steps. 'I think it's time you both left.'

The nice one I was speaking to looked at me and his face said it all. 'I'm sorry about him...'

'It's okay, honestly.' I nodded and smiled. 'Enjoy the rest of your night.' He raised his eyebrows and sighed before turning and grabbing his friend's arm, dragging him out of the bar.

'Are you alright?' I saw Roach's head poke round from Ghost's elbow and I nodded.

'I'm okay, thanks.'

'Are you sure? It looked like you fell pretty hard...'

'Roach, I'm okay!' I laughed and subconciously laid my hand over Ghost's. I froze for a moment before clearing my throat and stepping away from him. I turned back round to face them all and I saw him rub the back of his neck awkwardly.

'Do you wanna go home now, or...?' MacTavish asked, resting a hand on my shoulder.

I raised an eyebrow. 'Really? You think I'm gonna let some drunken idiot ruin the rest of my night? You taught me better than that.'

'Okay, fair enough.' He grinned and then clapped his hands. 'Alright, troops, next round's on Kenzie!'

'Hey!' I whined when they all cheered.

'I also never taught you how to be selfish.' MacTavish winked and made a space for me at the bar. Looking around the rest of the group while they shouted out their drinks to me, I couldn't help but smile. I know I hadn't been here long, but I felt happy. I felt well and truly happy for the first time in a long time. There was only one person missing...

_I'm happy for you, Z. You deserve this more than any of us ever did. Have one on me._


	8. Takedown

We were in Rio De Janeiro, Brazil. Shepherd had chased up new leads and this was where it had taken us. I had been overly excited when we had been briefed on this because I had always wanted to go to Rio. I mean, it could've been under better circumstances, but I was still there. As long as I managed to get home alive, I would be happy.

'I swear to God if he's sent us on another wild goose-chase...' I bitched from the back of the jeep we were in.

'Cut the chatter, Blitz.' I heard Soap growl. I pouted and readjusted the ACR on my lap, turning my head to watch the civilians staring at us in a mixture of fear and awe. I was too busy wondering what must've been going through their heads that I hardly noticed when we stopped again, and I barely heard Soap tell Ghost that we had a situation here. What I did notice was the firing of a pistol. I whipped my head back round just in time to see our driver slump down over the wheel, blood seeping from a hole in his skull. Oh yeah, this was definitely the guy we were after.

'Get down, get down!' Soap pushed me down behind the passenger seat and I wondered briefly if Roach - who was sitting in there - was alright. A few seconds later and we were safe to get out and start chasing down the right hand. I heard Soap tell Ghost to meet us at the hotel and try to cut him off if he could.

We were racing down the street when Roach caught up to me. I glanced up at him quickly, noting how his mask was splattered with blood that obviously wasn't his own.

'Thought you'd died back there.' I grinned.

'Nah, I'm still around to piss you guys off for a little longer, I'm afraid.'

'Damn.' I made a face of disappointment, making him laugh.

'He went into the alley!' Ghost's voice came through loud and urgent in the comms and I picked up my pace, wanting to beat them all to it. MacTavish was telling us to go for a non-lethal take-down. That really wasn't my area of expertise, but I'm pretty sure I could make it if I tried really hard. I still felt like I needed to prove myself somehow, and this was the perfect opportunity.

I flew past Ghost and a few battered looking dumpsters, catching sight of the target's back.

'Blitz, take the shot! Go for his leg!' I did as I was told and time seemed to stand still as I aimed down my sights and shot him once, right on point. I was joined moments later by the rest of the team and MacTavish patted my shoulder. 'He's down.'

They had dragged him into the garage that was next to where I'd taken him down. I peered in round the side, scared of what I was going to find, and saw that they had him tied to a chair and put a bag over his head. Ghost was standing with a couple of jump cables that were attached to a car battery, sparks flying as he brushed them together. He glanced down and caught me staring, then looked over his shoulder at the right hand. I tilted my head slightly, wondering what he could possibly be thinking.

_You are such a dipshit sometimes, you know that? He doesn't want you to think he's a cold-hearted bastard, duh!_

'Oh...' I whispered under my breath. Was this what Roach meant when he said Ghost was dark? I bit my lip and put my hand up against the side of the garage. He just had to do what he had to do. It came with the job. Soap was staying to, and I didn't think any less of him for it. I managed a small smile when Ghost looked back down at me and I nodded. He returned the gesture and rubbed the wires together again to double-check that the battery was still working.

'Blitz, this is going to take some time. Go with Meat, Royce and Roach and check out the favela for any sign of Rojas - that's where this guy was headed.' Soap said as he closed the garage door. I took a deep breath and turned away.

The four of us headed up the stairs while Royce reminded us to watch our fire: There were still civilians here and we didn't want any senseless casualties. Meat jumped down into the favela first, yelling something in Portugese before open firing towards the sky and scaring them away. Apparently, the local militia didn't take too kindly to that, because as soon as Meat stopped firing, they attacked.

'Roach, I'm with you! Watch the rooftops, go!' Royce yelled, taking cover in one of their small shacks. I ducked in behind him, laying down cover for him while Soap came over the comms, asking for a sitrep. From the corner of my eye, I saw Roach fighting off one of their guys. I was feeling generous, so I quickly popped him in the head so Roach could get into another one of the shacks directly across from us.

'Blitz, move up! Let's go!' Royce ordered, nudging me with the muzzle of his gun. Taking a quick breath, I sprinted towards the hut I had just watched Roach dive into, spraying bullets as I went.

'Oh, hey.' He was breathing heavily. 'Come here often?'

'Only when I have to.' I retorted, leaning out and gunning down two more coming towards us. They were charging in waves; it was like they were never ending.

He was away to say something else, but we were both interrupted by Royce, with words that absolutely none of us wanted to hear. 'Meat is down! I repeat, Meat is down!'

'Fuck.' I muttered, resting my head back against the stone wall for a few seconds. And now there was three. Even with four, we were losing this fight.

'Come on, we have to keep going.' Roach jumped out past me and started cutting down a new path for us, making sure our backs were against the wall at all times. I checked back over my shoulder for Royce, but I couldn't see a sign of him anywhere.

'Royce, we're pushing forward, come on!' I said over the comms. His reply made my heart sink.

'I'm hit!'

'Fuck!' I repeated, louder this time and more angry. I spotted a grenade rolling towards us and without thinking, I ran forward and scooped it up into my own hands, launching it up and over their shacks as hard as I possibly could. Now I was pissed.

MacTavish came over the comms again with good news for us. They had Rojas' position and were chasing him west along the upper levels of the favela. All we had to do was carry on and cut him off.

'Royce and Meat are down!' I yelled in frustration. 'There's too many of them, over!'

'There's no time for back up, Blitz. You and Roach are gonna have to do this on your own. Good luck. Out.'

'He's such an asshole sometimes.' Roach growled as we rounded a corner. I made a weird nose in the back of my throat in agreement before shooting two dogs that were barking at us, foam dripping from their mouths as they prepared to attack. Looking around, I realised just how confusing this place was. I was away to ask Roach if he knew how they managed to get around so well without getting lost when we got the delight of hearing Soap's voice again.

'This is their territory and they know it well. Keep an eye open for ambush positions and check your corners!'

'Yeah, thanks for that, idiot.' I hissed, firing at a couple of them that had appeared at a window. We jogged up some stairs and into a bigger building than the ones on ground level, letting Ghost and Soap tell us that they were taking heavy fire from the militia, but they still had sights on Rojas, who had now made his way out onto the rooftops. It was our job now to intercept and trap him between us and them.

'We're gonna have to make a run for it if we want to catch him, Blitz!' Roach shouted as I drove my knife into the neck of a tango who had tried to get us from behind.

'Don't let the militia pin you down for too long! Use your flashbangs on them!' Ghost advised.

'After you then, bug.' I put my hand to my belt, getting ready. I watched Roach's eyes squeeze shut in determination before he opened them, and we were off. We took it in turns blinding them, sometimes not even bothering to kill them afterwards. It was much easier to just run by and shove them into a wall as hard as we could.

We were taking a breather behind a fence, listening to MacTavish and Ghost make up their minds as to whether Rojas was in the market, or if he was on the rooftops or where the bloody hell he was going.

'He's headed west!' Was what they settled on, which was then our cue to keep our arses moving. Ghost announced that he could get a clean leg shot on him, but Soap was being stubborn, reminding us that we needed him alive and unharmed.

'It's a leg shot, I doubt that's really gonna matter.' I huffed, hiding behind a wall until the militia soldier that was shooting at us had to reload.

We ran up another set of stairs just as Ghost said, 'He's gonna get away!'

'No, he's not.' Soap replied and just at that, we saw him launch himself - and Rojas - out of a window and onto a car. I dug my heels into the dirt and skidded to a stop, staring wide-eyed at my Captain. I can't believe I just witnessed that.

'Frontrunner, this is Bravo Six. We've got the package. I repeat, we have got the package.' He sounded so casual, like he hadn't just willingly thrown himself out of a two storey building.

'Command, ready for dustoff, send the chopper. Coordinates to fo-' Ghost cut off midsentence and I raised my gun again, thinking he'd seen something, but he just wasn't getting a response. 'Bollocks! The skies are clear. Send the chopper now!' He stood up abruptly and I lowered my gun, taking this chance to crouch down, take a deep breath, relax for a minute and clear my fucking head.

MacTavish dragged Rojas off the car and looked around. 'Might as well make use of our time here. Roach, help me get him in there.' He nodded towards the nearest building. I knew exactly what they were going to be doing and I didn't want to see it. I pushed myself back up into a standing position and rubbed my eyes.

'Still no respone?' I asked Ghost.

'Negative.' His hands clenched tightly round his gun and I could physically feel the anger radiating from him. I sighed and glanced into the room where MacTavish and Roach were securing Rojas to a chair.

'Hey, I think they're gonna need you in there.' I spoke softly, not wanting to aggravate him. 'Go take your anger out on him, get the information we need, then we can just go home.' I looked up at him with tired eyes. He nodded and touched my shoulder gently before disappearing inside. It wasn't much, but that was enough of a thank you that I needed from him. While they were, uh, busy, I crouched outside and kept an eye out for any stray militia that had figured out where we were yet.

They didn't take long with Rojas, and the first thing I heard when they emerged back out from the building was MacTavish saying, 'The Russian's must've copied the ACS module. Got the key to every lock in America.' My jaw dropped and I stood up to join them.

'And they're killing a thousand Americans for every dead citizen in Moscow. Looks like we're all outta friends.' Ghost shrugged and rubbed his face through the mask.

MacTavish thought for a second, then his lips lifted up into a smirk. 'I know a guy. Let's find a payphone... They still exist?'

I rolled my eyes at his attempt at humour at a time like this and put one hand on my hip. 'What did he tell you?' I asked Ghost, knowing that if MacTavish was in this kind of mood, I wouldn't be getting that much of a decent answer.

'All we got out of Rojas is that the only guy Makarov hates worse than Americans is locked up in a gulag. '

'Seriously?' My eyebrows raised, slightly disappointed by the lack of information.

'It's all we got!' MacTavish threw up his hands, then he became determined and reloaded his gun. 'If this con's the bait to catch that psychopath, let's hang him from a tree.' I grinned at his enthusiasm and reloaded my own gun, feeling a new surge of adrenaline and hope that we weren't all going to die here.

Suddenly, we heard the militia again, and it sounded like they were closing in fast. We all looked towards the hill, ready to make a run for it, but Ghost motioned his gun towards the building. 'What about Rojas?'

'The street's will take care of him.' Soap said as we started to run.

'Works for me.' Ghost led the way, while Soap got through to this friend that he was talking about.

'Nikolai! We're at the top of the favela surrounded by militia. Bring the chopper to the market, do you copy, over!'

'Okay, my friend, I am on the way!' It was strange hearing a Russian accent through the comms. It sounded wrong, even though he was a friendly.

'Everyone get ready! Lock and load!' Soap shouted as we all ran for cover behind the nearest thing we could find.

'Let's do this!' Ghost sounded way too eager, but it was infectious and I must say, it was a great morale booster.

'We've got to get to the helicopter. Head through the gate to the market. Move!' I caught Roach's eye as we both ducked down to reload again and he just shook his head at Soap's bossiness.

'It's part of the job description!' I shouted across to him. Soap must've heard because he glared at both of us and told us to cut the chatter and keep moving. I crouched behind a shack, pulled out my pistol and quickly jumped up to plant a bullet into the miltia soldier hiding round the other side. I'd just slid it back into my holster when a truck with a machine gunner in the back crashed through the gate near the end of the road.

'Technical, coming in from the South!' Ghost warned us. I dropped down onto my stomach and laid low until it had passed, cringing as bullets embedded themselves into the wall behind me. As soon as I saw that their jeep had stopped, I poked my head up and took down the one in the back, rendering their machine gun useless.

We pushed forward again, and our situation just seemed to get more and more desperate. There must have been hundreds of them coming in for us and the hope I felt just minutes ago was slowly disappearing. I come out from my cover and shot down four miltia stationing themselves on the roof.

After what felt like hours of fighting through them all, we finally arrived at the market. There weren't as many militia in this part, but it was still a struggle and I was starting to run out of ammo.

'I'm almost out!' I shouted to nobody in particular, hoping that someone would hear and help me out a little.

'There's Nikolai's Pave Low! Let's go!' Soap and Ghost ran by me, Ghost pressing a full clip of ammo into my hand as he did so.

'Thank you!' I said to him, quickly slotting it in and getting back to work. I followed them into one of the shacks, thankful for the temporary ceasefire.

'Nikolai! ETA 20 seconds! Be ready for immediate dustoff!' Soap spoke a little bit too loud, just a little bit too close to my ear and I cringed, thumping him in the arm for it. He grinned and shrugged, which looked to be the only apology I was going to get for that.

'That may not be fast enough! I see more militia closing in on the market.' Nikolai said. I groaned and all I wanted to do was hang my head and sit down. I was so over all of this. I wish we were back at base, laughing about Shepherd's moustache or winding up Soap about something stupid, simply because it was way too easy... But no. We were still fighting our way out of this mess, unsure if we would even get away.

Just as Soap was telling us to pick up the pace, Nikolai came back over the comm's and said that there was no way we would survive if he landed in the market. Instead of being awkward about it, Soap told him to wave off and meet us at the secondary LZ instead, which was even further away than this one.

'Come on! We've got to get to the rooftops, this way!' Soap yanked at my jacket and pushed me in front of him so that I got the most cover between him and Ghost.

'I hate you sometimes.' I told him as we continued shooting down any militia soldier that was coming out of their cover for even a split second.

'You won't be saying that when I get you out of here.' He threw a flashbang, then used that chance to get them with a grenade. When it was clear, we ran across the make-shift football pitch and jumped up onto the roof. I was smaller, so I needed a hand up - which was embarassing - but Roach just laughed it off as he hauled me up to join them. From there on out, we were pretty much free from any gunfire, but we did have to run for our damn lives. I was so scared that I was going to trip and fall back down into the alleys, but I just kept myself focused. _Run, jump, run, jump, run, jump_. Easy!

'My friend, from up here it looks the whole village is trying to kill you!' I couldn't decide whether Nikolai sounded amused or scared for us, but I didn't have time to dwell on it because we were running out of rooftop - and fast. MacTavish was convinced we could make it, but I really didn't know if I could.

_I believe in you. Close your eyes... And jump!_

I felt myself fly through the air and just as my heart leapt up into my throat, I thumped down onto the tin roof at the other side. Exhilarated and happy with myself, I scrambled back to my feet with a little help from Ghost and saw that Roach hadn't made it.

'Shit! Roach?' I joined Soap at the edge of the roof and saw him lying crumpled in the alley.

'Roach! Roach! Wake up!' Apparently, orders from MacTavish were impossible to ignore because Roach opened his eyes and looked around in confusion. MacTavish continued to shout down at him. 'There's too many of them! Get the hell out of there and find a way to the rooftops! Move!' Roach got to his feet and shook his head clear before sprinting away into the nearest building.

Once we lost sight of him, we stood up and saw that Ghost was already getting into the chopper. I glowered and ran after him, letting myself collapse into the seat once I was safely inside too. MacTavish got in and told Nikolai to start circling low until we found Roach.

He had just reappeared again when Nikolai announced that we had to leave in 30 seconds because he was low on gas. Nervously, I began to chew my thumbnail, not wanting to accept the fact that we might have to leave Roach here alone in Rio with hundreds of militia hunting him down.

He disappeared again for a moment then came back into view on a small balcony.

'Jump for it!' I held my breath as he leaped off the balcony. I couldn't see if he'd made it from my position, but then MacTavish sighed in relief. 'Nikolai, we got him. Get us outta here!'

'Where to, my friend?'

'Just get us to the sub.'


	9. The Gulag

There was absolutely no fucking rest for the wicked. We never got to go back to base. The only relaxation time we got was on the chopper which was taking us out to where we would be doing a joint-op with the SEALS. When I found out that we were going back to an oil rig I had wanted to throw myself out of the chopper there and then.

'Are you sure there's actually going to be something on this one?' I grumped, tucking my knees up to my chest so I could rest my head on them.

'Don't get stroppy.' MacTavish warned.

'I'll do what I want.' I screwed my face up in a pout and sighed heavily. 'So what are we even doing?'

'The Russians are using the rigs round here as SAM sites, which is stopping us from getting into the gulag and extracting Prisoner 627. Some might say that needs to be taken seriously, Kenzie.'

'And some might say you're an ass.' I peeked up at him through my hair and grinned, knowing full well that he wouldn't get angry with me. He stared hard at me for a few seconds before just sighing loudly and looking out his window.

'Oh, come on!' Roach huffed in protest. 'If I'd said that to you, I would've gotten fifty shades of shit beaten out of me!'

'Well, I'm not exactly going to beat fifty shades of shit out of a girl, am I, bug?' MacTavish crossed his arms and leaned back in his seat, closing his eyes. 'Now if you don't mind, stop your bitching and let me sleep for a while.'

'Sleep sounds pretty good right about now.' I stifled a yawn and stretched out my legs, trying to get comfortable. I probably wouldn't get long, but even an hour was better than nothing at all after what we had just gone through.

I looked at Ghost and couldn't tell if he was looking back, or if he was looking at Roach, or outside, so I couldn't stare too long, just in case I came across as creepy. At least when all this was over, we could have something to talk about back at base. My cheeks flushed as I remembered our last encounter before we came out on this mission. I was quite intoxicated after our outing to the bar and he had walked me back to my room. Without thinking, I had thrown my arms around him in a huge hug and thanked him for being so great... And then I had fallen into bed and passed out. As embarrassing as it was, I didn't regret it one bit.

I must've fallen asleep without realising it, because I was woken up by Ghost shaking my arm gently. 'Wake up, you muppet! We've got to go!'

'Call me a muppet one more time, Lieutenant and I swear...' A yawn escaped me and I shook my head, 'Never mind.' I was dozy and uncoordinated as I swung myself out of the chopper. I breathed in deeply and let the wind sweep my hair back off my face before I tied it up out of the way.

Ghost pulled one more bag out of the helicopter and threw it over his shoulder. 'Ready?'

I nodded and hopped forward daintily to stand next to him. 'Ready.'

'Let's do this.' 

* * *

'Talk to me, Ghost... I don't wanna be down here when those ships start firing again.'

'Keep going, you're almost there. I'm detecting two heat signatures, one of them should be Prisoner 627.'

As it turns out, the oil rig really hadn't been too much of a hassle. We got in, we got the hostages, destroyed the SAM, and got out. What was a hassle was being told straight after that we were headed to the gulag. It had pissed me off once again, but this time, I held my tongue and just went to sleep without uttering a word about it. They woke me while we were still on open waters, asking me if I was any good with a sniper. I wasn't bad, so I had said yes and it all started from there. It was relatively smooth sailing until we got inside the damn place. We had found an armoury where I had picked myself up a shiny new AUG, so I was pretty pleased about that. After survivng an attack from a heavy assault group, we jumped into a hole in the ground, down a tunnel and here we were.

'Roach, you should probably set the charges.' I muttered sheepishly. This was way more of a big deal, and I really didn't want to chance my luck.

'Whatever you say.' He gave me a weird look and ushered me back out the way. Since he had planted the C4, he was the first one into the room after the wall exploded. We heard his gun fire, then two heavy thuds.

I turned to stare at MacTavish in shock. Had he just killed...?

We clambered over the rubble to see if he had actually killed Prisoner 627, but it was Roach that was lying on the ground and had a gun shoved in his face by the man we were here to rescue.

'Drop it!' MacTavish whipped out his pistol and held it to the side of the prisoner's neck.

The prisoner stood up slowly and lowered his weapon. 'Soap?'

'Price?' MacTavish's voice was full of awe and I stepped a little closer to see what was going on. My gaze flitted towards my Captain's face and I read his expression perfectly as he twirled the pistol round and pressed it into Prisoner 627's hands,'This belongs to you, sir.'

Before anybody could react, the entire room around us shook.

'Come on, we gotta get outta here! Move! Move!' Soap took off with Prisoner 627, Worm close behind them. I stayed behind long enough to haul Roach back to his feet and we raced after them.

'Is that really who I think it is?' I managed to pant as we tore along the tunnel. Just as Roach was away to answer, part of the ceiling came down, blocking our way out.

'Go back, go back! We'll find another way out!' Soap waved for us to get going and now we were the ones who had to lead the way. I heard Roach curse under his breath as he tugged at my sleeve, pulling me with him. We turned right, then right again and up a small flight of stairs. There was a light shining down in the middle of the room from where the ceiling had caved in and we stopped underneath it so that our transport out of here could find us.

'It's a dead end!' Worm exclaimed loudly.

'Six Four, where the hell are you, over?!' Soap was getting more and more agitated by the second and I really didn't want to be around here if they made him snap.

Our Pave Low pilot sounded panicked as he replied, 'Bravo Six, there's too much smoke, I can't see you, I can't see you!' I flung my arms up over my head as debris fell hard and heavy. I managed to avoid most of it, but next to me, Roach didn't get so lucky.

'Roach is down, Roach is down!' I dropped to my knees and started trying to dig him out.

'Out of my way.' Prisoner 627 pushed at me, knocking me away from him. I gasped, but didn't pursue the matter any further. Instead, I went to stand with MacTavish, who was now setting off a bright red flare. Seconds later, a rope fell down through the hole for us to hook ourselves onto.

'God, I hate doing this.' I scoffed, attaching myself to the rope anyway. Roach looked like he wanted to make a smart remark, but his eyes were still glassy and his face still pale. I looked around once more and was just away to start wondering if Ghost got safe and sound when we got hauled right up and out of the gulag.

'I know you don't like heights, lass...' MacTavish tapped my head to get my attention then pointed back towards the gulag, which was now burning and clouded with smoke, 'But you've gotta admit, the view's great.' 

* * *

We were finally back at base, and I had never been so happy to see my bed. While most of the others went to hang out in the rec room, I just went straight to my dorm and crawled under my covers, not even bothering to change out of my uniform.

My mind was reeling and I needed time to process how fast everything had happened. We had lost Meat and Royce. We had caught Rojas. We almost lost Roach. We cleared the oil rig. We took out the SAM site. We rescued Prisoner 627.

Prisoner 627. MacTavish had called him Price. It couldn't be though... Could it?

_You didn't think it was possible that you were ever going to see MacTavish again, did you? Life is weird, Kenzie, you of all people should know that. You just rescued Captain John Price. Accept it._

I sighed and grabbed two fistfuls of my hair, sitting up in my bed. 'Just let me sleep, dickface.' I saw his face behind my lids, laughing at the fact that he was getting a rise out of me. I growled to myself and forced myself to get back out of bed. After rummaging around in my chest of drawers, I found my journal. I hadn't written in it since the day after I got back from Afghan, and I didn't plan on going back to read anything before that. I skipped a couple of pages, found a pen and wrote "Task Force 141 - Blitz" in big, bold letters, then started anew. I wrote down everything that had happened to me since I got here, including all the small little things that people had done to make me feel welcome.

My eyes were starting to feel heavy, and I yawned, rubbing at my face sleepily. I finished writing up my entry and lay back down into bed, hugging my journal to my chest. I didn't know what our next mission was, and I didn't know when it would be. All I knew was that working with these guys was the most amazing experience of my life, and I was going to start making every damn moment count. 


	10. Nightmare

***Ghost's POV***

*** **Working with Kenzie was great. She was quick, calm and kept her cool, even when we were under pressure. In Rio, I hadn't realised she was watching me get ready to torture the information out of Rojas' right hand. I was used to getting told I was cold-hearted, or sick, or _dark _as some people would say, and it usually never bothered me, but the thought of Kenzie thinking I was just as twisted as the man we were trying to catch made me feel... Wrong. I had never been so surprised than when she smiled and nodded, not seeming to give a single fuck about it. She even encouraged me to help Soap with Rojas. _She was unbelievable._

In the gulag, I couldn't stop myself from worrying about her. I saw how many squads were firing at them and I knew they had more chance of getting trapped in the tunnels than I did from the control room. The feeling of relief that washed through me when I heard that they had all made it out alive, complete with Prisoner 627, was incredible. _She was amazing._

I hadn't spoken to her properly since the night we came home from the bar, the day before we left for Rio. I had offered to walk her back to her room because I didn't trust Archer or Toad with her when they were all under the influence. She had thanked me for looking out for her and hugged me, stumbling into her room without turning the light on. I remember seeing her talking to those Irish pricks, so I was making sure to keep a close eye on her, but the second I looked away, something had happened and he had pulled her to the ground. I couldn't recall the last time I had felt such anger - I actually frightened myself. I was glad that MacTavish had gotten his hands on the guy first. And when she backed up into me... Fuck, I don't even know what made me put my arm round her like that. I just needed to keep her safe. _She hadn't pushed me away_.

I was walking a dangerous line and I knew that, but I still didn't understand what was happening. I had never felt such a strong pull towards anybody like this. I'd had a couple of quick relationships before I joined the military, but after that, I hadn't taken even thought about dating again. I put it down to what had happened to me, but now I was changing my mind. Maybe I had just been waiting for her and her understanding of pain and love and trauma and loneliness. She was just... different. And I liked that.

_There was just something about Kenzie_. ******

* * *

_I was lost. I was so lost. I didn't know where I was. It was raining, and it was dark and I was alone. I was so alone. My lips were moving, but I couldn't make a sound. I wanted to scream, but there was nobody around to hear me. I tried to run, but I couldn't even twitch my fingers. I was stuck in the darkness and I couldn't get out. Where was everyone? Why was nobody coming to help me? _

_I blinked and saw a figure walking through the rain towards me. I squinted and saw that it was only General Shepherd. As he approached, an invisible force knocked me to my knees in front of him. I looked up from the dirt and went to thank him for coming to get me, but I was greeted with the barrell of his pistol. My heart sank and I went to scramble away, but it was too late. He had already pulled the trigger._

I bolted up in bed and screamed, putting my arms up over my head reflexively. It took a few minutes of whimpering into my duvet before I was able to lower my hands and check the time. 5 am.

There was a horrible feeling in my chest and I felt scared. Terrified even. I knew it was just another stupid nightmare, but it had felt so real. Shepherd would never shoot any of his team, would he? No. I shouldn't be thinking things like that. He could have me shipped off home in seconds if he knew that's what I thought of him.

_Don't brush this off so easily, Kenzie. A lot of nightmares are just your subconscious trying to tell you something. _

'You can shut the fuck up.' I muttered, getting out of bed and pulling on a pair of ripped jeans and an oversized t-shirt that used to belong to Aaron. I only ended up with it because I hadn't had anything to wear one day because all of my stuff was in the wash. He jokingly said I could borrow some of his clothes, which I did. I never got round to giving it back, and he never got round to asking for it.

I made sure I had my cigarettes and lighter on me before pulling on my combat boots and quietly exiting my room. There was absolutely nobody going around and it was eerie, but I managed to brush that feeling away.

The cool air was much welcomed against my skin, which was still clammy from the nightmare that had so violently shaken me. My fingers continued to tremble while I lit my cigarette and I wanted to kick myself as hard as I possibly could. I was just being ridiculous now. It hadn't happened, it was only a dream and I was still alive and okay.

I tilted my head back and blew out gentle smoke rings, letting my eyes rake the sky and count the stars. There was absolutely no chance of me getting back to sleep now, so there was no point in even trying. I was wide awake, and had no idea what to do. I made my cigarette last longer than usual just to push in a little bit more time, but it never really helped.

With a sigh, I pulled my feet up onto the bench and stretched myself out onto my back. I would just lie out here for a while and not think about anything at all. I felt content out here beneath the stars and out in the open. It reminded me of the days I used to take my little sister camping before I signed up to the military.

_'Kenzie, when's MacTavish coming back?' Bonnie asked softly as I helped her roast her marshmallow to perfection._

_'Next weekend.' I smiled down at her. 'Why?' _

_She shrugged and took her stick back from me, 'I like him. He's funny and he's actually nice to me.' Her brown eyes which were identical to mine reflected the flames and I saw how they glistened with unshed tears. I had always been so proud of how strong she was. Much stronger than I was. _

_'That's because you're awesome.' I nudged her shoulder with mine and made her smile. She dipped her head, letting her bright blonde hair swing forward into her face._

_'How does he even know Mam and Dad?' _

_Her question took me off guard and I raised my eyebrows. 'Huh?'_

_'It just doesn't make sense does it? How can someone as great as MacTavish be friends with people like our parents?' _

_'I've never thought about it.' I lied smoothly, turning my face away from her so she couldn't read my expression. Truthfully, I had thought about it - to the point where I lost sleep sometimes. _

My eyes flew open and I sat up quickly. Okay, so trying not to think about anything wasn't working. Grumping, I stood up and stomped back towards the barracks. My feet took me to MacTavish's office and I didn't even think twice as I twisted the handle and let myself in. I clicked on the desk light and looked at the photo of Operation Kingfish again. There was just something about it that made me happy.

My gaze zoned in on Ghost and curiosity finally got the better of me.

'I'm not snooping!' I whispered to thin air as I strode over to the filing cabinet by the window and pulled open one of the drawers, finding the files to everyone in the base. 'Bingo.' I brushed my fingers across them, pausing momentarily on the one that read _**Gary "Roach" Sanderson**_, wondering if there was anything in there I could make fun of him for at some point. I decided against it and carried on skipping through them until I found the one I was looking for.

'Simon Riley... That's pretty.' Ghost's name rolled off my tongue and I nodded in appreciation. I only got as far as reading that he used to be the best the S.A.S. had to offer when I started to feel guilty and put it back in it's place. It just didn't feel right.

I closed the door behind me as quietly as possible and made my way to the rec room, which was still empty. I flopped onto the sofa and rubbed my eyes. I glanced at the Xbox beneath the TV, then the laptop on the counter, but I didn't want to do anything.

'Mackenzie?' A voice still thick with sleep made me jump.

'I told you to stop calling me that.' I twisted on the sofa to watch Ghost make himself a cup of coffee.

'What made you think I was going to listen?' He spoke round a yawn and I rolled my eyes, turning my back on him again.

'It's first thing in the morning and you're still wearing your mask. Do you sleep with it on?'

'No, now stop asking questions.' He sat down next to me and pushed his balaclava up, just enough so that he could drink his coffee. I arched an eyebrow.

'Seriously? You can take it off, I won't look, see!' I made a big deal of looking out the window on the other side of the room.

'Why are you even up?' He completely ignored me.

'Um, I couldn't sleep.'

'Has anybody ever told you that you're a terrible liar?'

I snapped my head back round and narrowed my eyes at him. 'Quite a few people actually.'

He grinned and my jaw almost dropped in awe. He had the most gorgeous smile I'd ever seen and I found myself wanting to lean up and kiss him. It was a lot harder to keep that thought at bay than it should've been.

'So why are you really up?'

I cleared my throat and dropped my gaze to the hem of my t-shirt. 'I had a nightmare.'

'About?'

'You're the one who needs to stop asking questions now.' I closed my eyes and rested the side of my head against the back of the sofa. He didn't say anything for a while, probably waiting for me to break first and just tell him. Well, if that's what he thought, then he had another thing coming.

I kept my eyes closed and listened to the soft sound of his breathing. I was starting to get drowsy again when I felt him move; heard him lay his empty mug down onto the table, then felt him move again as he made himself more comfortable.

'What are you doing?' I asked, sounding more grumpy than intended.

'I'm trying to put my feet up, but you're getting in the way.'

'Ugh.' Cracking one of my eyes open slightly, I shifted my position so that I was laying pressed against his side, squashed between him and the back of the sofa. I thumped my head down onto his chest hard enough to let him know that I wasn't impressed with having to move. 'Happy now?'

'Ecstatic, thank you.' Amusement laced his tone and I sighed, accidentally snuggling myself down. I didn't want him to know just how comfortable I was here, but I wasn't doing a very good job of that. I opened my eyes for a moment and gently laid my hand against his side. I felt him tense up and I cringed, squeezing my eyes shut again.

I breathed in his scent and realised how safe I felt with him. Just knowing he was there on missions was enough, then there was the night in the bar, and now right here. I didn't feel nowhere near as terrified as I had when I woke up. It was almost like he had known that I needed someone.

'It was about Shepherd.' I mumbled suddenly.

'What?'

'My nightmare. It was about Shepherd. He shot me.' He took so long to reply, I thought he had fallen back to sleep as well. I was drifting on the edge of the consciousness when I felt his arm come down and curl around me gently. I tried not to gasp at the contact and forced myself to keep a straight face.

He sighed softly and in a voice barely above a whisper, he said, 'The only time anybody will get to shoot you is over my dead body.'


	11. SSDD

When I woke for the second time, the rec room was a bit busier, but I was still curled up against Ghost. He was talking to MacTavish, who was sitting in the chair next to us, absently shuffling a pack of cards.

'Good morning, Sleeping Beauty!' He flicked a card into my face and instead of throwing it back or ripping it up, I groaned and buried my face down in between Ghost's shoulder and the cushion.

'Go away.' I was still too dopey to deal with people at the moment.

'No chance, lass.'

'Okay, can you make yourself useful then and get me some coffee?' I lifted my head again and ran a hand through my hair, trying to wake myself up a bit. He looked at me with a single eyebrow raised, silently telling me to go fuck myself basically. I flipped him off, 'You're the worst.'

'Me? Never.'

'I'm so done with you, MacTavish.'

'Do you really mean it this time?'

'Yes.' It took a great amount of willpower to untangle myself from Ghost, but somehow, I managed. I ignored everyone else while I went about making my own damn coffee until I heard Ozone and Scarecrow talking about some new FNG's that Shepherd was taking in today.

'What's going on?' I pulled up a chair and sat down with them, running my fingers through my hair again, trying to keep it tame until I went back to my room for my brush.

'Apparently Shepherd's getting MacTavish to run a group of FNG's through The Pit today because he's busy all morning or something. So we might have more newbies in later.' Ozone didn't look at all pleased about the news.

'That's good though, right?' I sipped at my coffee, not sure how to feel about how unhappy they seemed to be about the news of fresh blood. Technically, I was still the newbie here... Were they this upset when they found out I was joining them?

'I don't know.' Scarecrow put his head in his hands. 'We had a couple of them before you, but they got discharged in the space of like, three days.'

'Why?' I almost choked on the drink I had taken. I'd heard of stuff like that happening in training camps and smaller military bases because they thought you weren't up for the career, but to be taken into the 141... How does anybody blow a chance like that?

Ozone smirked at the memory before retelling it. 'They thought they were shit-hot, so we hated them to start with, naturally. We were away to do a training exercise, and one of them decided to get lippy with MacTavish. The other one thought it was hilarious and thought he would try his luck as well. It didn't go down too well, and Ghost tried to split it up before it got ugly.'

Scarecrow laughed and snorted and held his hands up, wanting to tell the next part. 'Okay, so Ghost was managing to stay relatively cool about it all, but when he tried to calm it down, he ended up making it at least a hundred times worse because all we see is this new guy take a swing for him.'

My hand flew to my mouth, a smile playing on my lips. I had known in the first hour of being here that messing with Ghost would be the equivalent of signing your own death wish. 'Are you kidding?'

'Nope.' Scarecrow grinned. 'Ghost let him get the punch in and the newbie said something... What did he say again?'

Ozone sat himself up in his seat a little and cleared his throat, 'It was something like, "Man, I could fucking _bury_ you! And you call yourself a Lieutenant? Your parents must be _sooo_ proud of you, _pussy_!'" I sat back in shock at how into the role Ozone got. It was like he had memorized the entire thing word for word, even the hand actions and accent and the precise moments of emphasis. When he was done, he stood up and took a bow.

'Oscar winning.' I let my voice drip with sarcasm.

Scarecrow just shook his head and continued the story, 'Yeah, anyway, Ghost was going to let him off with it, but he just snapped after that. He almost killed the guy, actually. It was terrifying to witness, but thinking back on it now, I'm glad he gave that asshole what was coming to him.'

I glanced back over my shoulder at Ghost, who didn't seem to have heard any of this conversation. MacTavish said he looked out for his team, which I had seen first hand, now, so I couldn't wrap my head round why he would almost kill someone he was training. It took me a few slow minutes, but then it clicked that the guy had brought up the topic of his parents. Absently, my hand went to my throat and I wanted to run back over to the other side of the room and just give him the biggest hug I could.

'Kenzie?'

'Yeah?' I whipped my head back round, plastering on a fake grin.

'Are you going out to meet them with those two later?' Ozone nodded his head towards Ghost and MacTavish.

'I don't know, why?'

'We need someone to scope them out for us, and they won't tell us shit.'

Scarecrow clasped his hands together, 'Pretty, pretty, please? You're the only one who'll get off with just showing up there, even if you're not invited.'

'Should I take that as a compliment?' I raised an eyebrow and they nodded vigorously. I couldn't help but laugh.

'Sure, I'll help you size up the new guys.' 

* * *

I had changed into my cargo trousers and a plain white tank top and scraped my hair up into a ponytail, wanting to look a bit more neat and tidy. My plan was to not tell Ghost or MacTavish that I was coming until I was there. I was riding solely on the hope that they would tell me to just keep my mouth shut and not do anything.

Scarecrow and Ozone had been keeping me company on the smoking bench for the past fifteen minutes, just waiting for Ghost and MacTavish to show up so I could take my leave. I was away to spark up another cigarette from boredom, when the door swung open and out they came, completely oblivious to the fact that we were here.

'Good luck!' They each patted me on the back and I skipped over to start walking next to the Lieutenant and the Captain. It took them a minute or two to realise they had company, but by this time we were almost at the observation deck.

'Oh, hey guys, I didn't see you there!' I gasped dramatically, then faked a laugh. 'I was just heading up to the observation deck, maybe we could walk together?'

'What are you doing here?' Ghost asked.

'I got specific instructions to make the FNG's run The Pit! What are you guys doing?'

'Has anyone ever told you that you're a terrible actress?'

'Right, you're gonna regret saying all this some day!' I dropped my act and scowled.

'We'll believe it when we see it.' MacTavish chuckled and put an arm round my shoulder, 'Before this gets too heated, why don't we just get this over with?'

'That's a great idea.' I said smugly, turning to poke my tongue out at Ghost. I couldn't tell if he was smiling or if he was pissed off, but that mask really was creepy when he was staring at you without saying anything. A chill tripped down my spine and I suppressed the shiver that went to follow.

Once we were a top the observation deck, I felt like I had truly made it in life. As far as my knowledge went, only the important people came here because they were the only ones authorized to make decisions like this. Fair enough, I knew I wasn't meant to be here, but that was besides the point. 'This is so cool!' I grinned, running over to a small technical desk to inspect the microphone there. 'Was it you that shouted at me when I first ran this?'

'It sure was, now get away from there before you break something, lass.' MacTavish shooed me away, so I took up stance by the sprawling glass window where I got the perfect birds eye view of the entire course. I crossed my arms and stretched up onto my tiptoes to see if I could see any of the new recruits waiting by the weapon rack.

'You are such a short arse.' I was away to slap Ghost down for being horrible again, but suddenly his hands were on my waist and he had lifted me up and off my feet. He perched me atop his shoulders and my stomach flipped with vertigo while I tried to adjust to this new height.

'Please don't let me fall, or I swear I'll kill you when I get back up.'

'Don't be a muppet.' I could almost imagine him rolling his eyes at me. Wordlessly, he offered me his hands to hold onto for support and with no hesitation, I accepted, feeling more stable now. 'Can you see them?'

'Yeah...' I cocked my head, counting. '6?'

'We're only allowed 2.' MacTavish explained. '3 of them are from the S.A.S. Anybody you recognise?'

'Not that I can see. I'll get a better look when they come round.' I watched them huddle together and frowned. 'Are there any other girls? I can't tell from here.'

'Two there, aye. Both from the Rangers. Now shut up.'

'Oh, bleh.' I made a face at him and watched as he pressed a big button. I heard the buzzer and saw the first one come through, determination screaming across his bold features. We watched all six run the course and not once did Ghost complain that I was getting too heavy or uncomfortable or let me drop. Whenever I thought about it, I felt a flush creep up onto my cheeks, so I tried to just stay calm and act like this was totally natural.

'Wait...' I whispered to myself as one of the girls took her turn. She had thick black hair that was teased back into the perfect bun and from what I could see, she was tall and lanky. When she quickly glanced up in our direction before she dove into the building, shock fizzzed through me. 'I know her! Oh my God, I know her!' I would've bounced up and down a few times, but that would've probably been too much for Ghost, so I just sat in wonder.

When they had all finished running the course, I got impatient and scrambled down off of his shoulders.

'Kenzie-' But I was gone. I thundered down the steps and round towards the entrance to The Pit. Their entire group turned to look at me, but I honed in on the girl I had seen from upstairs.

'Ali!' I squealed, running towards her with my arms open.

'Holy shit, Kenzie!' She laughed, hugging me back. 'What are you doing here?'

'That is... Such a long story, but Shepherd took me in a couple of weeks ago!' Excitement had left me breathless and I would've probably felt like such a prat, but it was Ali!_  
_

'Congratulations.' Her voice sounded tighter, but I put it down to her just being stressed. We finally let each other go and I couldn't stop grinning. What were the bloody chances?! Her jaw dropped all of a sudden and I frowned, following her gaze. My grin sprung straight back onto my face when I saw Ghost striding towards us. I tried to ignore the way my insides twisted together at the sight of him, but it was no use.

'Ah, don't worry about him. His bark's worse than his bite.' I waved away her worries, causing the others to laugh nervously.

'I look at you sometimes and think your sole purpose on this earth is to test my patience, Mackenzie.' He just shook his head and pulled me back away from the group. 'Right, you, you, you and you, stay and run the course again. The rest of you... Better luck next time.' His fingers wrapped round my wrist and we headed back towards the observation deck. Panic flashed through me for a second. I hadn't seen who he had pointed to! Was Ali still here? I tripped on the first step just trying to catch one more glimpse, but it was too late.

'You could've been nicer about that, ya know.' I said before we got back to MacTavish.

'Nothing good ever comes from being nice to people.'

'Uh, hello, you're nice to me!'

'I repeat, nothing good ever comes from it.' I heard him laugh at my expression and my anger quickly melted away. When we were standing next to each other waiting for MacTavish to call in the first of the final four, I tried searching for that wall he had up that I had felt on the first day I came here. I had to try ridiculously hard to hide my surprise when I couldn't pick up a single trace of hostility or coldness or any sort of vibe that would push me in the opposite direction. I stole a sneaky glance up at him and gave a small smile. _Ghost was changing_.

I almost screamed when I saw Ali running the course again and got told to shut the fuck up by both of them at the exact same time. I had been sent away while they made the final decisions with specific orders to not talk to any of the remaining four because I get "too carried away" and "exciteable." Pfft.

As I walked by, I put my hands up to shield them from my view, knowing that I would end up talking to one of them if I didn't, and I didn't want to put either Ghost or MacTavish in a bad mood. Instead, I all but ran to the rec room.

'Ooh, Kenzie's back!' Ozone yelled from one of the chairs. I ran and jumped onto the sofa next to Roach, securing my seat before anybody else came over to hear what the FNG's were like.

'I don't know what you want me to tell you, but they were all really good!' I took my hair out of it's ponytail, not really needing it up anymore. 'But one of them was a friend I made years back before I even joined the S.A.S. Her name's Ali and the last I seen she was in the final four.'

'We might be getting another girl?' Roach asked, eyes lighting up.

'Yes, get over yourself.' I picked up a cushion and shoved it into his face. 'The other three guys seemed kinda quiet actually, nothing like those idiots you told me about.'

'Hm.' Ozone leaned back and put his feet up on the table. 'It's always the quiet ones you gotta watch out for, though.' A murmer of agreement ran round the room and I sighed in exasperation. Nothing I said was going to make a difference; I really don't know why I was bothering.

Just then, Ghost walked in and waved me out, 'MacTavish wants a word.'

'Shit, why?'

'You'll see!' I cast a worried look behind me and they all just winked. I flipped them the bird as the door swung shut. I had to jog to keep up with Ghost, wanting to hit him for walking so stupidly fast.

'Where are the newbies?' I asked, unable to contain the excitement from my voice.

'Shepherd's just out of his own meeting, so they're with him.' We stopped suddenly outside MacTavish's office and he looked down at me. 'You look scared.'

'I am, a little.' I scratched my head. 'Am I in trouble?

'It's okay, I'll be there too, so you have nothing to worry about. And you're not in any trouble, don't worry about that either.' I had a feeling he was smiling, but I couldn't be sure. Either way, when he opened the door, I stayed right behind him until I was sure he hadn't lied to me and I wasn't in trouble.

'Kenzie?' I poked my head round the side of his arm at the sound of my name. MacTavish was sitting behind his desk, sporting a huge grin.

'What?' I asked in a small voice. Ghost stepped away and put a hand on my back, pushing me forward slightly. My eyes widened to see who was sitting opposite MacTavish.

_Ha! I told you! I fucking told you! _

'Meet Captain Price.'


	12. Queen and Country

It took me a few moments to process the information before being able to stutter out a hello.

'You didn't tell me she was this shy, Soap!' Price took his hat off and laid it down onto the desk.

'She's not.' MacTavish raised an eyebrow at me and I gave him a "what the fuck do you expect?" look.

I cleared my throat and smiled. 'Sorry, Captain, I've just heard a lot about you. It's a bit of a surprise.'

'All bad I hope?' He raised an eyebrow and I shook my head.

'Unfortunately not.'

'Damn.' He sighed sadly and looked at the floor before training his eyes on me again, 'So what the hell kind of name is Blitz anyway?'

'It uh, wasn't me who came up with it.' As quickly as I had stepped up and made an effort, I backed down and shied away again at the mention of my call sign. I didn't want to talk about that right now, not when I was finally beginning to get over it and move on.

'I'll explain all that later.' MacTavish cut in for me and I smiled at him as a thank you.

'Whatever.' Price grumbled and turned in his seat so he could put his feet up onto all the paper work littering the desk. 'I'm glad you finally found your way back to this son of a bitch, kid.'

'So am I, sir.' I grinned proudly and gave MacTavish a salute and a playful bow.

Price laughed and pointed at me. 'I like you. Let me take you out for a drink later. I need a good night out after being stuck in that place.'

'Sounds good.'

'Alright, be ready for seven or I'll leave without you.'

'Noted.' 

* * *

_'What's your problem with her, anyway?'_

_'I don't know, I just don't like her, is that so bad?' _

_'Uh, yeah, a little. It's nice to have another girl around.' Me and Aaron were having another argument about Ali. There was another female with us now, and he hated it as much as I loved it. _

_'She's really nice if you get to know her.' I propped my feet up onto his lap and switched the TV over to a different music channel. _

_'I'd rather not. I can't put my finger on it. She's just... I dunno, I feel like some of it's an act. Do you not see the way she looks at you?' _

_'Do you ever think about what you're going to say before you say it or do you just open your mouth and ramble shit all the time?' I rolled my eyes and glanced over at him. He had a look of pure concentration on his face, which was weird. Aaron hardly ever concentrated on anything._

_'Z, my sister was a bitch, so I know when I see one. You might be happy about another girl being around, but she sure as hell isn't.' _

_'Okay, I think I get it now. You don't want me to have any other friends, that's cool.' I shrugged and grinned at him._

_'Oh my God, that's exactly it! How did you figure that out so quickly?' He picked up one of the pillows he was leaning on and whacked me on the face with it. I threw it back and knocked his beanie off his head. He sighed and lifted his hands in surrender. 'I just don't trust her, that's all.'_

I stopped as the memory popped into my head, staring down at his dog tags which were sitting on top of the chest of drawers while I got ready. He never had warmed up to her, and I had never let him forget how childish he had been about it.

Pain panged through my chest when I wished I could go back and apologise to him for all the times I had wound him up and pissed him off like that. The sudden longing left me weak and I had to sit down and take deep breaths.

It wasn't working and I was away to curl myself into a ball and let it eat me up for a while when there was three heavy thumps on my door. I jumped up eagerly, glad for the distraction. And what a brilliant one it turned out to be.

'Ghost!' I mentally slapped myself for sounding so happy to see him. 'What's up?'

'Still got a spare bed in there?'

'Duh. Why?' I frowned and he let himself in. Standing behind him was none other than Ali. 'You got in!' I gasped. She nodded and bent down to hug me for a few seconds.

'Sorry that you have to bunk with Mackenzie, but there's no other rooms free now.' Ghost sat down onto my bed. He picked up my dog tags and began to inspect them carefully.

'Stop calling me Mackenzie, fucking hell!' I threw my hands up and snatched my tags back from him. 'I'm gonna seriously lose my shit with you shortly.'

'Kenzie!' Ali sounded shocked and I turned to look at her.

'What?'

'It's disrespectful to talk to a superior like that. Shouldn't you be apologising?'

'Uh...' I trailed off, taken completely aback by her behaviour. My eyes darted down to Ghost for some help, but he just shook his head. I glowered and tried to think of a good reason for why I spoke to my superiors the way I did. I settled on simply saying, 'Things are different here.'

She raised a thin black brow and pursed her lips before turning her back and getting to work with unpacking. My jaw dropped a little and I sat down next to Ghost.

'Are you coming out later?' I asked without taking my eyes off the back of Ali's head.

'I'm really not sure. I'll have to talk to MacTavish first.'

'Is it gonna be another group outing?' I finally ripped my gaze away from my old friend and grinned up towards Ghost. He made a noise that I perceived as a laugh and shrugged.

'We'll just have to wait and see, won't we?' He patted my knee and stood up. 'I'll leave you to help get Natalie settled in. Come find us in the rec room when you're done so you can meet the other two guys.'

I quickly did the math and frowned, 'I thought you were only allowed to pick two?'

'Natalie and Jeremy were tied with their times. It would've been stupid to let one of them go. See you in a bit.' And just like that, he was gone. Even though there was an extra person in here now, my room felt empty again.

'What was your time?' I asked casually, sliding on my dog tags.

'20.3.' She grinned at me over her shoulder. 'What was yours?'

'Damn, you beat me. 22.4.' I laughed. I was away to loop Aaron's tags round my neck when Ali reached out and grabbed them from my fingers.

'Why are you wearing two?' She frowned as she read them. 'Aaron died?'

I tilted my chin up, getting involuntarily defensive. 'He went down with the rest of our squadron in Afghan a few months ago.'

'Wow, sorry about that.' She handed me them back, then snorted a laugh. 'He was a bit of a prick though, wasn't he? Must be great to be away from him finally.' I felt like someone had just punched me straight in the gut. I wanted to pick up the first blunt object I got my hands on and savagely club her to death with it. I needed to get away from her. Now.

'Okay, come on, time to meet the troops.' I walked over and slammed her suitcase shut before she had finished unpacking.

'But-'

'It'll be there later. Come on.' I opened the door and forced her out. I didn't speak to her when we made our way to the rec room, and I landed her straight in it when we got there. Four of the worst guys I could possibly leave her with on her first day were all sitting together playing what looked like poker and I shoved her down next to them. 'Natalie, this is Roach, Toad, Rocket and Archer. Boys, meet Natalie. Have fun.'

I turned my back to them and scanned the rest of the room. I spotted MacTavish getting a beer from the fridge and jogged over to him.

'Oh, hey-' He shut up as soon as I threw my arms round his waist and buried my face in his chest. 'What's wrong?' I just shook my head, knowing that if I spoke right now I would burst into tears. He rubbed my back and waited patiently until I was fine again. When I pulled away, we had been joined by Ghost.

'Is everything alright?' I detected a hint of concern in his voice which lifted my spirits a little. I checked to make sure that the guys were keeping Ali busy, then dragged Ghost and MacTavish outside to the smoking bench. I started from the beginning, from when I had first gotten to know Ali and what Aaron thought about her and how happy she seemed to be when she saw me here. When I got to what had just happened, I felt like I was being choked, but I somehow managed to get it out.

'So yeah, I don't know what to think of her anymore.' I took a long draw of my cigarette and blew the smoke out through my nose. 'She might just be having a bad day. I don't want to be on bad terms with the person I'm sharing a room with, ya know?'

'Or Aaron might have been right.' MacTavish gulped down his beer and took hold of my hand. 'I know what you're like, and none of us want to deal with what'll happen if you lose your temper with her. Save that for the Russians. If she ever says anything like that again, you know where to find me, or Ghost. Hell, even Price. I'd say Roach, but he doesn't know his left from his right sometimes, so that would be a waste of time.'

I laughed and squeezed his fingers. 'Thank you.'

'Still want to take the newbies out with us tonight, Captain?' Ghost leaned over us to throw the butt of his cigarette in the bucket and pulled his mask back down into place.

'I'll think about it.' 

* * *

We ended up taking the newbies out with us. Price almost scared them away though, which I got my hopes up for, but no such luck. I was at the bar talking with the old man when Ghost came up to us with the two new guys.

'Mackenzie, Price, this is Jeremy and Matt. You never got a chance to meet them properly earlier.'

'Hi, how's it goin'?' I decided to make an effort and shook both of their hands. Matt looked a little older with a few more battle scars to show it, but Jeremy still looked young and fresh. He was the one who took my fingers into his grasp just a bit too eagerly for my liking.

'Good, thanks.' He grinned, green eyes shining. 'Can I buy you a drink?'

'Uh, sure.' Frowning slightly, I leaned back so he could get up to the bar to order our drinks. I looked up at Price from over his head and saw him smirk.

'What made you sign up for this in the first place, anyway?' He asked. I bit my lip and thought about it for a second. I'd never really had a solid reason for joining. I had just seen this as an escape from my crappy home life and my luck was in when I found out I was pretty damn good at it.

'MacTavish.' Price raised his eyebrows, surprised by my eventual answer. 'Every little girl looks up to their daddy and sees a hero. He was the closest thing I had to a Dad, so I guess I wanted to be the same as him.' My thoughts jumped to Bonnie. I definitely wasn't her hero. I had done nothing but let her down.

'Good answer.' Price raised his glass towards me before tipping the rest down his throat. I tilted my head up to look at Ghost.

'What about you? What made you sign up?'

'Queen and country.' His reply was almost straight off the bat, like he had answered that question multiple times before. I would've chased up on it, but I really couldn't be bothered at the minute.

'And you?' I nodded towards Matt, who smiled gently and rubbed his neck.

'Same as the Lieutenant here. I wanted to give something back.'

'That's sweet.' I smiled and felt Jeremy tap my arm. I glanced down and saw him holding my drink in his hands. 'Thank you!' Ghost left me and Price to become aquainted with the newbies, something neither of us could be done with right now. I tried to be as nice as I could, but Price was blunt and sarcastic the entire time. I found it funny, but it would've been inappropriate for me to laugh as much as I wanted to, so I kept myself contained.

I was coming back from a bathroom break when I saw Ali talking to Ghost and MacTavish. I stopped and watched the way she threw her head back when she laughed too hard and how her arm kept brushing Ghost's when she leaned in too close. _What game was she trying to play?_ MacTavish looked awkward, but clearly didn't want to leave them alone together. I grinned to myself and started walking again.

Right before I reached them, I pushed myself into a run and jumped up off the ground, launching myself onto Ghost's back. I tried to hide my grin when Ali almost dropped her drink from the fright she got.

'You guys coming for a cigarette?' I wrapped my arms round Ghost's neck and cast MacTavish a meaningful look.

'Sounds good to me!' He downed what was left in his glass and dropped it off at the bar. When we got outside, Ghost let go of me for a second to get his cigarette out and lit. I was thinking of how I was going to get my own out without getting down when he took one from his own packet and lit it for me, holding it up for me to take.

'Why thank you.' I giggled. MacTavish blew out a breath and started to say something when the door to the bar swung open and Ali came out. I waited a few seconds before asking her when she started smoking.

Her expression told me that she was confused and kind of put off by my position on Ghost's back, but her voice was still sweet and cheery when she said, 'I started last year. I should've mentioned.'

'Hm.' I nodded and got a better grip on Ghost.

'So Kenzie, you never did tell me how you ended up in the Task Force!' She struggled to light her cigarette and I saw MacTavish roll his eyes before offering her his lighter. I really didn't want to tell her anymore, but now was a better time than any.

'Well I got moved up into the S.A.S. and my team got deployed to Afghan. I can't say what we were there for, but as you know, everyone died.' As I said that, I felt Ghost squeeze my leg reassuringly, but it only made me want to cry. I pushed through it and carried on for the sake of looking dignified in front of Ali, 'Aaron took the bullet for me so at least one of us could carry on and finish what we started. He thought I had the best chance at it and once again, the bastard was right. I finished the mission, I came home and a few days after that, Shepherd contacted me and said he wanted to talk.'

'That's amazing. You're really lucky!' Ali gushed.

'What's your story?' Without thinking, I laid my chin down onto Ghost's shoulder so that my cheek was just brushing his neck. I swallowed hard and pretended like nothing had happened.

'It's nowhere near as exciting as that.' She shook her head and flicked the ash off her cigarette. 'By the sounds of it, Shepherd was just recruiting the ones with the best recommendations on file with us.'

'Well, you're here now and that counts for something!' I sickened myself by how happy I sounded.

'Exactly! I'm so glad we're getting to work together again.' She sighed and looked around. 'How far away from base are we here?'

'Not far enough.' MacTavish scoffed, breaking the awkward atmosphere me and Ali had created. Once we all went back in, I made sure to stick to Ghost like glue for the rest of the night. I had enjoyed talking to Price, but I felt... I felt jealous. There would be more chances to speak to Price another time, and I'm sure he would understand in his own little way if I explained to him my feelings on Ali at the minute.

_I didn't trust her for a reason. A good one, too. Just keep an eye on her, Kenzie, or I swear she'll be the death of you. _


	13. Whispers In The Dark

I tossed and turned when we got home and into bed. It felt weird sharing my room with someone now, and I hated it. How could I have ever liked Ali as much as I did?

_You were young and stupid and not as smart as me._

'Fuck off.' I mumbled into my pillow. I was overthinking every time I had ever spoken to her, throwing myself back years to the first time we had trained and fought together. Everything Aaron had said was starting to make sense and I hated that it had taken me this long to start believing it.

My head was still swimming from the effects of the alcohol, but I still forced myself to get up and go to the rec room where I poured myself a glass of water and took a couple of painkillers to prepare for the headache I was going to get soon. I laid my elbows on the counter and looked up at the stars from through the window.

There was the sound of someone's feet shuffling on the carpet and I whirled, heart leaping up into my throat. 'Jeremy?'

'I heard someone wandering around.' The new guy shrugged and shoved his hands into the pockets of his hoody as he wandered over to stand next to me. 'I couldn't sleep.'

'Same.' I sighed and crossed my arms over my chest, going back to watching the stars now that my heart rate had calmed itself down. 'How you settling in?'

'Alright, I guess.' He leaned against the counter and from the corner of my eye, I caught him staring at me.

'What?' I snapped.

'Sorry, I've just been trying to figure out how you got in. I mean... I dunno, I wasn't expecting there to be any girls here already. Doesn't seem like the kinda thing someone like you would be into.'

I turned away from the window to fix him with a hard glare. There was always one, wasn't there? 'I'm here because I impressed the General. That a good enough reason for you?' I scoffed and decided it was time to go back to bed. I would rather be awake and comfortable than awake and having to deal with jerks.

_Don't go back to your own room. _

I frowned as I stepped out into the corridor. I didn't understand until I heard the rec room door open again and a pair of feet jogging up behind me.

'Look, that came out wrong. What I was trying to say was that you're way too cute to be a soldier.' Jeremy's apology made me laugh.

'Like I haven't heard that one before.'

'I take it you're used to being hit on, huh?'

'You could say that.' I slowed down as we neared the dorms, trying to think of how I was going to do this. Jeremy cleared his throat and I saw his jaw set. It would seem that somebody wasn't used to girls being cold with them...

'Can I walk you back to your room? It's the least I can do tonight.' He was now going for the "I'm a gentleman really" approach, but I wasn't falling for any of it.

'Sure, if you want.' I shrugged, quickly forming a plan that had extreme potential to backfire at a seconds notice. I counted the numbers on the doors mentally and tried not to look up as we passed my room.

'Well, here I am!' I laughed when we stopped and threw my arms out dramatically, thumping the door next to me loudly. 'Fuck! God, I'm so clumsy sometimes.' Almost like he had been synced in on my plan the entire time, Ghost opened the door right on time. His mask was only covering half his face like he hadn't bothered to spend time putting it on properly.

'Mackenzie, what are you doing out of bed?' He yawned and ran a hand over his beautifully toned stomach. I tried not to let my eyes stay too long on the thick mess of a scar he had running diagonally from the middle of his left rib cage and down his side. It looked like it had been very deep and very painful.

'I was getting a glass of water, sorry.' I shrugged and leaned on the door frame next to him. He placed a hand above my head and tilted his chin towards Jeremy.

'Did you need a glass of water too?' He asked. I bit the inside of my cheeks to stop myself from smiling at how pale his face had gone.

'You didn't tell me that you bunked with the Lieutenant.' He muttered, slowly inching back from the door.

'You never asked.' I sounded more bitchy than I had intended and regretted it instantly. I didn't want to make enemies of anybody here. Before he could retaliate, Ghost put a hand on my shoulder and guided me into his room where I heard Roach snoring softly under his duvet.

'Mackenzie, go back to sleep. You too, Jeremy. And no more pestering the people on this base. That's an order.' He closed the door in his face and I was finally able to laugh.

'Oh my God, thank you so much for that.' I reflexively went to hug him, but stopped myself last minute, backing off sheepishly.

'You're very welcome.' I watched his lips tilt up in an amused smirk and he held his arms open for me. I grinned and jumped forward, throwing my arms round his neck. He scooped me up and off my feet for a second before putting me down. 'He didn't hurt you, did he?'

I shook my head, 'Nope. He was just being an asshole.'

'What made you come here?'

'It was Aaron's idea.' It was out before I had even thought about it. I physically felt the colour drain from my face and I dipped my head, 'I didn't mean to say that. There is a very good explanation, but I should probably just get going...'

'Whoa, wait.' Ghost's hand shot out and stopped me from getting by him. 'You can talk to me, you know.'

'I'll sound crazy.'

'Try me.'

I sighed and rubbed my eyes. I really didn't want to talk about this to anyone, but I had just gone and landed myself right in it. I got myself settled on his bed, then started trying to explain the voice in my head. He was stupidly nice about it and didn't tell me I was mad. Instead, he listened and even gave me another snippet of insight into his life before the Task Force. It wasn't much, but he had just basically said that he had been betrayed by his Captain and tortured into insanity by the Mexicans they were hunting. He never went into detail, and he didn't tell me a single thing more about it, but it was enough to let me know that he must've trusted me a great deal too.

I don't know how long we sat up talking about everything, but I eventually ended up sleeping in his room with him. We were lying with our backs to each other and the information he had told me kept playing on my mind.

'Ghost?' I whispered into the dark.

'What?'

'You know what you said about those Mexicans?'

'Yeah?'

'Is that how you got the scar on your side?'

'Yes.'

'What happened?' I rolled onto my back to see if he would turn round, but he didn't move a muscle. He still had his mask on, refusing to take it off if I was here. He also refused to give me a reason for that.

'They hung me from a hook.' He replied softly. I put a hand over my mouth to stop myself from gasping. I wanted to say something, maybe apologise for bringing it up, but I couldn't find words. Instead, I took a deep breath and tried not to worry about the possible consequences of what I was away to do. I rolled over again and rested my forehead against his back, throwing an arm over his waist, telling him silently that I was here for him.

I was almost sleeping when I felt him sigh and he turned over, pulling me against him in a proper cuddle. I smiled against his chest and closed my eyes again, telling myself sternly that I would absolutely not get used to this.

* * *

***Ghost's POV***

*** **Last night was the first nightmare free night I had had in a long time. As much as I tried to give the credit to the alcohol, I knew full well that it was because I had fallen asleep with my arms around Kenzie.

She was being so open and honest about herself, telling me all about how she still heard Aaron and how much she hated herself for leaving her sister alone in Scotland. I had told her about those bastard Mexicans and how they had hung me from that hook not because I felt obligated, but because I really felt like I could trust her. She was so easy to talk to and I wanted to tell her everything and just get it all off my chest to someone, but I wasn't sure if she could handle hearing it right now.

I woke her earlier than normal so that she could go back through to her own room before Natalie got up and started asking questions. It was hard to let her go when she looked so cute and sleepy.

That was the last I saw of her until sometime in the afternoon. MacTavish and I had just come back from a meeting with Price and Shepherd about how to stop the war when we passed the make-shift gym.

I smiled behind my balaclava when I saw that Kenzie was there. It dropped when I saw that she was with Natalie, Matt and Jeremy - the guy who I had unknowingly rescued her from last night. I hadn't been sleeping anyway, and then I heard her voice and a thump on the door. I didn't realise what she was doing until she moved closer to me and further away from that prick_._

'You like her.' MacTavish cut through my thoughts and I shook my head.

'Just checking in on the newbies.'

'Aye, keep telling yourself that.' He laughed and raised a hand in greeting to Mackenzie through the glass panel in the door. She grinned and waved back madly. 'She'll be okay. If anything, it's the other three you should be worried about. I know Kenzie, and it won't be pretty if she feels like they've backed her into a corner.' ******

* * *

_I was sitting at the kitchen table with my head buried in my arms, listening to Mam and Dad shout and scream about what they were going to do with me. Bonnie was still at school, thankfully. This would have scared her big time._

_'Oh, John, thank fuck that you're here! Did Harry tell you what she's done this time?' I heard the front door slam and my head snapped up at the mention of MacTavish's name._

_'Aye, he did that, Erin.' MacTavish walked through the door and into the kitchen. He smiled despite the angry atmosphere in the house and I waved cheerily._

_'Hey, MacTavish, how's it goin'?' I chirped. _

_'It was going good until I got a call from your parents saying that you were being horrible again.' He sat down opposite me and I made a face._

_'They're making a big deal out of nothing, trust me.' I saw amusement sparkle in his eyes, but he quickly sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose when my parents stormed in to see if I would listen to him instead._

_'Kenzie, they told me that you punched one of the girls from your class in the face then pushed her down a flight of stairs.' _

_'She was being a bitch!' I threw my hands up, not understanding what was so wrong with what I had done. 'I was just sticking up for myself! I would've done exactly the same to the rest of them if they hadn't run away.' _

_'You can't push someone down the stairs just because they were being a bitch, lass.' MacTavish laid his hands on the table and stared me down. I held eye contact long enough for him to get the message. 'What did they do to you?'_

_I rolled up my sleeves and shoved my arms towards the middle of the table. It was mainly for MacTavish's benefit; My parents knew about the bruises and the scars since they were the ones that inflicted most of them. I was used to the state I was in, but on each of my wrists were now bright, fresh burn marks in the shape of a smiley face._

_'They caught me smoking behind the bike sheds, so they used my lighter to "teach me a lesson", then that slut tried to push her luck, so I got them back for it. Simple.' _

_'You shouldn't be smoking anyway, young lady! You're only 16!' Mam butted in._

_'Tough shit.' I hissed, yanking my sleeves back down. 'Basically, MacTavish, I'm suspended because I'm not letting myself get bullied.' _

_My parents quietly waited for him to say something, so there was a long pause where we just sat staring at each other from across the table. My jaw set defensively and I crossed my arms, challenging him to break the silence first. Eventually, he leaned back in his seat, gave a smirk and winked._

_'That's my girl.'_


	14. Contigency

'Price, I can barely see Roach's chute in my satellite feed.'

'Roger that, Soap. I've found Roach, he appears to be intact. We're gonna head northwest to the sub base, over.'

'Copy that. The rest of the team landed near Ghost, pretty far to the east.' _Lucky bastards_.

'Tell them to proceed with the mission. We'll regroup if possible.' Price waved his hand towards me and Roach, 'You two, follow me and stay out of sight.'

I was feeling a lot more excited about this mission for one reason and one reason only: Shepherd didn't know. Price had told him that he had a plan to stop the war in the US and that we were heading to a naval base near Petropavlovsk in Russia, but Shepherd told him not to bother because we had to focus on Makarov, nothing else. Price being Price just went ahead and did it anyway, and us being us, just blindly followed on. He hadn't told us exactly what he was planning, but we all agreed that if it was going to stop the war and make our job easier, then it was worth doing.

'Contact, enemy patrol 30 metres to our front.' Me and Roach followed Price's lead and took cover behind a couple of trees along the side of the path. 'Five men, automatic rifles, frag grenades. One German Shepherd.'

At the mention of the German Shepherd, over the comms we heard Soap say, 'Dogs. I hate dogs.'

'These Russian dogs are like pussycats compared to the ones in Pripyat.' Price smirked and we moved a little closer.

'It's good to have you back, old man.' I smiled to myself at their little exchange. I was so happy that we had found him in the gulag. It was great to see how much better MacTavish looked after being reunited with his old Captain.

I heard Roach lift his gun up into position, away to take out the patrol, but Price told him not to do anything stupid and just be patient.

'Convoy coming, get out of sight!' At the very mention of convoy, I dropped down onto my stomach, lying flat out in the snow behind the cover of the bushes. If we were caught now, that would be the end of it.

Once it had passed, Roach and Price got into position and took out two guards that had stopped for a smoke. I was content with just staying quiet and keeping behind them. This was an important and dangerous job and I didn't want to get in the way too much, just in case I managed to screw something up somehow.

We pushed forward and I got the honour this time of taking out another guard and his dog. When we were clear, we crossed the bridge and hurried along the road. A few helicopters flew by over head and Price cursed quietly, 'Soap, our intel was off. The Russians have mobile SAMs.'

'Roger that.'

'Have you found us some transport?'

'I'm working on it. Out.' Soap didn't sound too happy at the mention of the SAMs and I really didn't blame him. Suddenly, Price stopped and I banged into Roach.

I mumbled an apology at the same time Price shouted, 'Incoming! Look out!' Just then, a BTR came speeding round the corner, heading straight for us. 'Follow me! Into the woods! Let's go, let's go!' He didn't have to tell me twice.

We bolted after Price, dodging the trees that were coming down under the BTR's fire. There was a bang and I watched in horror as one came down straight in front of us.

'Watch this!' Roach seemed to be taking this all in his stride with complete ease and with no fear, ran forward to meet the tree. At the last minute, he dropped down and slid underneath it on his knees. It wasn't hard to figure out that behind that mask he was grinning like a lunatic, ridiculously proud of what he had just done.

'You're not the only one who likes to show off!' I called out to him. Gritting my teeth and forgetting about what would happen if I failed, I copied him step by step. The rush of adrenaline that hit me when I made it safely to the other side left me breathless and I gave a short laugh.

'Impressive, Short Stuff!' Roach shouted back over his shoulder. I grinned and went to chase after them, but Price had stopped again.

'Slow down. Their vehicles can't follow us this far.' Russian voices floated through the trees towards us and we all quickly ducked behind cover. 'Let them pass. It looks like they're searching for us.' Price said quietly.

I peered through the bushes and counted at least four flashlights scanning the area. I held my breath as they passed, getting ready to fire at a seconds notice if need be. Their voices get fainter the further away they got and we moved forward again. We all stayed silent and Price waved his hand, telling us to hide.

'Dog patrol.' He explained. We stayed put for a few seconds then crept closer. 'Three man patrol dead ahead. Take them out or leave them be, your call.' He glanced round at me and I gulped. I was never the best at decision making when I was put on the spot like that. He was the Captain, this was his job!

I ended up taking them out, mainly because I wanted to impress Price. It was the right decision to make because he nodded towards me in appreciation, 'Nicely done.'

We ran into another large patrol further along our paths. There was no way we would be able to sneak past, so it took all three of us to take them down. We slipped past the next dog patrol without a bother and up a steep hill that made the muscles in my legs burn.

'Soap, what's the status of our air support, over?' Price asked as we neared the top.

'A UAV loaded with AGMs is en route to your position.'

'Roger that.' Price laid down when we got into a position that overlooked the entire village. 'This ridge is perfect. Roach, take control of the Predator drone.' I lay between them and looked down my scope while we waited for Roach to do his thing. There was a flare of light and a loud bang and our drone was gone.

'Bollocks.' Price spat.

'What just happened?' Soap sounded confused and I resisted the urge to laugh at him.

'There's a mobile SAM site in the village. It just shot down our Predator.' Price sighed and rubbed his forehead before jumping to his feet. 'Soap, we need another Predator! You two, let's go.' He began to slide down the other side of the hill and I looked up at Roach, a grin spreading across my face.

'Race you to the bottom?'

'You're on.' At the same time, we threw ourselves down the hill. Snow sprayed up into face and I had to squeeze my eyes shut and do it blind. We finally reached the bottom and I managed to wipe away the water from my eyes just in time to see Roach crash into the fence.

'I think I win.' I laughed. I was away to help him up when I heard Ghost's voice over the comms telling everyone to stand back. That's when I saw the Russians emerging from every building in the village.

'They know we're here. You might want to grab a different weapon!' Price was taking cover behind a weapon crate and Roach managed to recover himself quick enough to grab the M240 before me.

'Fuck.' I hissed. I checked inside the crate and only saw shot guns and sniper rifles. 'I hate you, Roach.'

'No, you don't. Just keep using that until you can pick up one of theirs, you'll be fine!' He said. I stuck my tongue out at him as angrily as I could, but I listened to him anyway. I shot down three that were hiding behind their jeeps and used Roach as cover when we moved forward.

'Check your fire! Check your fire! Friendlies coming in at your 12!' My heart jumped when I saw Ghost running towards us. I felt myself blush and cleared my throat, getting back to the task at hand.

We grouped up with them behind one of the houses and I checked to see who was here. Ghost, Ali, Matt, Rocket, Peasant and Jeremy.

'Hey guys, fancy meeting you all here.' I reloaded and grinned up at Ghost. He just shook his head and muttered something that sounded a whole lot like, 'You fucking muppet.'

'Any problems getting here?' Ali asked casually.

'Not at all.' I raised an eyebrow and turned away from her. The fire we endured was heavy and we were dramatically outnumbered, but eventually we managed to clear the space. I had taken Roach's advice and picked myself up an AK-47 before we carried on moving. A few years ago I would've made sure to stick behind with Ali just for the female company, but I pushed myself so that I was running up front with Ghost and Price. If I didn't trust her at base, I sure as hell wasn't going to trust her with my life on the battlefield.

'Soap, we've linked up with Ghost and the rest of the team.' Price got back in contact with MacTavish.

'Roger that. The second Predator is almost in position. Make it count, these things don't grow on trees.' He replied.

'Oh, you don't say?' I couldn't help myself that time. Roach sniggered, but none of the newbies thought it was funny. Neither did MacTavish by the way he had completely blanked me.

We all stopped at the top of another ridge and Price pointed down into the base. 'There's the submarine! Right below that crane!' I could only see it past the branches of the trees if I stretched right up onto my tiptoes. 'Roach, soften up their defences with the Predator! Watch for the flashing strobe - that's us.'

Seconds passed into minutes and suddenly - _boom_.

'That got their attention!' Soap warned us, amusement heavy in his voice. 'The whole base is on alert. You'd better hurry. You've only got a couple of minutes before that submarine dives.'

'No pressure then.' I sighed softly and aimed down my sights, picking off as many of their soldiers as I could from my position.

'We're moving!' We jumped over the fence and down another hill, taking cover behind the containers. I made sure that I stayed next to Ghost now that Ali was around, comforted by the fact that he had told me wouldn't let her try anything stupid.

Roach sent down two more missiles and Ghost nudged my back to get my attention. He pointed towards a building across the road and pushed me forward. 'I'm with you! Go, go!' I took to my heels and bolted for the building. I ran through the door and straight into a Russian. He knocked me in the face with the butt of his gun and took me to the ground. I felt the muzzle of his gun touch my temple and I grabbed for his arm.

_You know how to do this, Kenzie. Exactly how I taught you. _

Remembering my hand-to-hand combat training with Aaron, I swiftly snapped his wrist just as he pulled the trigger. It went off right next to my ear and left me dizzy and disorientated, but I was okay. Another gun shot ran out somewhere to my right and the soldier's blood splattered all over my face as he dropped down dead. I shoved him off of me and struggled to my feet. I fell back against the door frame and saw the blurry figures of Ghost and Price as they joined me in the building.

'Are you hit?'

'No, I'm good.' My voice sounded deep and slow and I shook my head, trying to clear it away. I lifted my fingers to my nose and felt my own blood seeping from it. 'Dammit.'

'Come on, we have to keep going!' I stuck behind them and by the time we got out the other side, I was feeling more steady and sure again.

'You're half way there!' Soap informed us over the comms. I huffed in determination and Roach put down another missile while I reloaded. Hearing that he had destroyed a couple of trucks seemed to be just the boost that everybody needed. As a group, we shot down as many of the Russians as we could without breaking our pace and pushing forward. Everyone knew that we were running out of time and fast.

'I'm going for the sub! Cover me from that guardhouse by the west gate!' Price took off as soon as the submarine came into view.

'Roger that!' It was hard to hear Ghost over the blare of the sirens, even through the comms. 'Roach, Blitz, we have to get to that guardhouse by the west gate to cover Price! Follow me!' We thundered up the steps behind him, followed quickly by Matt and Rocket. The other three stayed on the ground to stop any Russian that got that little bit too close.

I set up station in between Ghost and Roach, getting the perfect view of Price as he ducked through the doors. Seconds later we heard him say, 'All right, I'm inside the sub. Cover me, I need a few minutes!'

Roach sent down another missile and I shielded my face from the blast.

'Fucking hell, bug, watch it!' I growled. I was away to shoot at a head that I saw bob out from behind a container, but something a lot more serious caught my eye. I hit Ghost's arm and shouted, 'Look!'

As always, his balaclava prevented him from expressing any sort of emotion, but the urgency in his voice gave it away. 'Price, are you there? The silo doors are opening on the sub, I repeat, the silo doors are opening on the sub!'

No reply.

'Price, come in! They're opening the silo doors on the sub! Come on, hurry!'

Still, nothing.

'Price, do you copy? The silo doors are open! I repeat, the silo doors are open!' Ghost was roaring at him down the comms and my heart was beginning to sink. _Please, no_.

And then he spoke, but all he said was one word, 'Good.'

Ghost got to his feet and backed away from the railing, 'What? Wait! Wait! Price, no!' But it was already done. There was nothing we could do but watch it happen. 'We have a nuclear missile launch! Missile in the air, missile in the air! Code black, code black!'

Well, shit. 

* * *

To say Shepherd was angry is probably the understatement of the century. We never even had time to shower or change or even sit down when we got back to base. We got called straight into the briefing room and honestly? I was terrified. I knew his anger was directed mainly at Price, but we were all stupid enough to listen to him so that made us just as bad.

Everybody got ordered to leave after fifteen minutes apart from Ghost, Price and MacTavish. I made sure I was the last one out so I could close the door and stick around for them to come out.

'Blitz, he will kill you if he finds that you've been listening!' Roach came back to see where I had gone once he realised I wasn't walking with him.

'I wanna know what he says.' I whispered from my position on the ground. I was still in my dirty uniform and encrusted with blood that wasn't my own, but I could wait to shower.

'Sometimes...' Roach trailed off and shook his head, getting comfortable on the ground next to me. We sat in companionable silence, cringing everytime we heard Shepherd raise his voice. The tables turned when we heard a loud thump and then Price shouting. I whipped my head round to look at Roach and his mouth was hanging open in an "O" of surprise.

'What the fuck is going on?' He asked in a small voice. I just shrugged and leaned a little closer to the door. Things had cooled down and I think it was MacTavish that was talking now. Suddenly there was another thump and it was Ghost that was raging now. We both frowned and I cursed when we heard footsteps.

'Shit, we need to go.' Roach grabbed my hand and we both stumbled to our feet, tearing down the corridor. We stopped before we got to our rooms and peered back round the corner. Ghost stormed out first, followed quickly by MacTavish. Price took a little longer, but when he did, he was a vision of pure fury.

'I wonder what happened?' I craned my neck to look up at Roach.

'No idea, but I think it would be a good idea to stay away from them until they've all calmed down.' He sighed heavily and straightened up. 'You should probably go for a shower, you look gross.'

'And you wonder why you're single?' I laughed.

'I thought women appreciated honesty!' He gasped dramatically and his hand flew to his chest like I had deeply wounded him with my words. For a split second, I looked at him and all I saw was Aaron. The same goofiness and the not taking anything seriously. The same playful nature and easy going attitude. And both of them had grown to become family to me.

A knot formed in my throat and before he could ask what I was doing, I threw my arms round him and hugged him close to me.

'Was it something I said?' He sounded confused and I went to laugh, but it turned into a dry sob.

'No, no.' I shook my head and squeezed my eyes shut. 'Can you promise me something?'

'Sure?'

'Don't get yourself killed, please. I can't lose anybody else.' His grip on me tightened and I buried my face in his shoulder.

'I've already told you, I'm not going anywhere.'

'Good.' I let him go and took a shaky breath. 'Sorry about that.'

He smiled and punched my shoulder lightly. 'No worries. I can't deal with girls crying though, so get out of here and go have a damn shower already!'

I shook my head and chuckled, 'I thought we were having a moment here, bug.'

'You thought wrong, didn't you?' He patted my head and ran off before I could kick his ass for doing that again.

It felt good to clean off the dirt and blood from my skin, but I still wasn't sure how to feel. Shepherd was angry, Ghost was angry, MacTavish was angry, Price was angry. So I was pretty sure that the atmosphere wasn't going to be too great when I finally caught up with them all later.

I couldn't shake how furious Shepherd looked though. Every time I closed my eyes, the only thing I could see was how red in the face he was and how he kept slamming his fists down onto the table and that look in his eyes...

I knew that there were always two sides to people, but I really wasn't sure if I wanted to have my life resting in this man's hands anymore. He sure as hell couldn't be trusted with it, and I knew it was only a matter of time before he snapped for real. All I could do now was hope that we were all out of harms way when he did.


	15. Victorious

The next day, things were still a bit tense around the base. I had a short conversation with Ali about our previous mission and how she was really excited to do another one, but that was about the extent of my social skills that morning.

I was sitting out on the smoking bench after I had eaten my breakfast alone, watching the other soldiers go about their daily business. A few of them raised their hands to me in greeting, but I was left in peace, which was completely fine by me. I was watching one of them dribble a basketball when a bright flash temporarily stole my vision.

'Gotcha!'

'Dammit, Roach!' I scrubbed at my eyes and glared at him when I could see properly again. 'You better delete that.'

'It's a disposable, sorry.' He shrugged and sat down with me. 'Why the long face?'

I blew out a lungful of smoke, wondering if I should tell him my fears about Shepherd. He didn't seem like one to blab about something like that. Hell, he might even be feeling the same.

'I dunno, I guess I'm still shook up about Shepherd yesterday.' I tried a round about approach. 'It was scary.'

'Yeah, no kidding.' He started tapping out a rythym on his legs. 'I've never seen him blow up like that. Price sure knows how to push his buttons.'

A burst of laughter escaped me at his word choice, 'Was that meant to be a pun?'

He raised his eyebrow at me, not understanding. It took him a few minutes, but when it finally clicked, he gasped and clapped a hand to his mouth, 'I didn't even mean that!'

'What are you idiots laughing about?' Ghost called out as he made his way towards us with MacTavish.

'Roach is making fun of Price setting off that missile.'

'Fuck you, Blitz.' He made a face and then quickly snapped a picture of Ghost and MacTavish. 'Don't hurt me! I want to fill up the rest of that photo album. No time like the present, right?' He shuffled up to make room for them, almost shoving me off the damn bench.

'Whatever.' MacTavish waved him away and sat down heavily, 'We're doing some team drills later, don't be late.'

'Need something to take your anger out on?' I nodded sympathetically. He scowled at me and I poked my tongue out.

'Yes, actually.' He began to tell us what Shepherd had said to them the day before and we acted like we hadn't been trying to eavesdrop the entire time. In a nutshell, he had ripped into all of them for ignoring direct orders. Apparently Price had flipped his shit when Shepherd brought up the gulag and Ghost had lost it when he threatened to discipline the entire team.

'He's been a bit off lately.' I tried again, hoping that someone would pick up on what I was trying to say.

'He's just stressed out about Makarov. He doesn't think we're getting anywhere.' My brows came together when MacTavish defended him. 'Anyway, meet us out in the training course at 6 sharp. And I meant it when I said don't be late.'

'Yes, sir!'

* * *

I was in a team with Ghost, Ali, Matt, Archer, Chemo and Ozone. MacTavish had Roach, Jeremy, Scarecrow, Rocket, Toad and Worm. The training course back at my old base was pretty much just like The Pit, but this was one was amazing. It reminded me a lot like a paintball arena, except we were using rubber bullets and we all got special gear to wear that caused a horn to go off every time one of us got hit. We weren't wearing helmets so it was strictly no headshots, which was the only rule really.

We were all stood facing each other in the middle of the field.

'Ready?' MacTavish flexed his muscles and cracked his neck.

'Ready.' Ghost was the only one who rose to his challenge.

'GO!' We sprinted off in different directions, dodging bullets as we went. I had always loved doing drills. I thought it was a great way to just chill out with the rest of the team and get to know them better, but then there was some people who just took it a little bit too seriously...

'Blitz, what are you doing? Move!' Ali screamed at me as she passed. I rolled my eyes at her and thought about just getting myself disqualified for friendly fire. I hadn't even finished making my decision and she was gone. I crept into one of the buildings and made sure to check my corners as I went.

_Wait. _

I froze as his voice popped into my head. I didn't even question it anymore. I listened every time without fail and I wasn't stopping now, even if it was just an exercise. If I closed my eyes and concentrated really hard, it was almost like he was standing right next to me, telling me that he would go first just in case there was anybody up the stairs.

A floorboard creaked behind me and I whirled, raising my gun in the same motion.

'Oh, it's only you.' I lowered my gun when I registered Ali's features in the gloom. Her gun stayed poised, however. 'Stop aiming at me you idiot.' I hissed, walking up to her and pushing the muzzle down towards the floor. Shaking my head, I left her standing and went to check the second floor.

_Watch your back!_

I didn't have time. The bullet had already hit the back of my head. I fell to the ground and tried not to close my eyes as the whole world spun and pain shot through my entire skull every time I blinked. Through watery eyes, I watched Ali hop over me and up the steps. I lay there, just feeling it, when our ever valiant team leader crouched down next to me.

'Am I bleeding?' I muttered, not really sure if that was how it came out.

'Only a little. We need to get you out of here if you want to carry on.' Ghost helped me to my feet and I curled my fingers into his jacket when everything tilted. My stomach rolled and I swallowed down the urge to vomit.

'No.' I closed my eyes and rubbed at the spot between my eyes. 'I'll be okay.'

'Stop bloody arguing!' He wrapped an arm round my waist, but stopped when he heard Ali come back down the stairs. I peeked round him and watched the smug expression on her face drop. I then saw Ghost pull out a pistol and shoot her in the chest without any hesitation.

'You're out now too.' I frowned, leaning into him heavily.

'Do I look like I care?' He slid his pistol back into his holster and with a small grunt, lifted me up into his arms. I wrapped my legs round his waist and tucked my head into the crook of his neck. I didn't want to even look at Ali while she was walking out behind us. Two horns went off in the time it took us to get off the course and I wondered vaguely who had gone down.

When we got to the "Time Out" area, Ghost laid me down gently onto one of the tables. I sat and gripped the edge tightly, trying not to fall off.

'Didn't expect to see you guys out so soon.' Archer and Scarecrow were the only other two here so far and they were now watching us in curiosity. I managed to give them a small smile, but Ghost completely blanked them as he turned on Ali.

'What the fucking hell were you thinking?' He grabbed hold of her collar and slammed her against the wall. Her face had drained of all colour and everything about her screamed submission. Her mouth was moving, but she couldn't get anything out and pure fear shone from her eyes. 'Not only was that a headshot, but it was friendly fire! Do you have any idea what damage a rubber bullet to the head could do?'

'No, sir.'

'Oh, I think you do.' He pointed towards the mark on her vest where he had shot her, 'Next time, I'll make sure it kills you.'

'Whoa, Ghost, calm down, dude.' Scarecrow stepped forward and put a hand on Ghost's chest. It took him a few minutes, but he eventually let go of Ali, throwing her back into the wall for emphasis.

Another horn went off and in walked Ozone.

'Oh, hey, Ghost. Not like you to be out this early.' I winced at how happy he sounded. He cottoned onto the heavy feeling in the air instantly and asked what had happened. Nobody answered him, so he just sat down slowly and put his feet up, assessing everyone's facial expressions.

Ghost came back over to me and told me to take my hair out of it's ponytail so he could get a better look at the damage. He pulled his gloves off and told Scarecrow to find him the medical kit that they kept in here, just in case something like this ever happened.

'Who got you?' Ozone asked me. I narrowed my eyes towards Ali and she hunched further down into her seat. 'Wow... Not cool.'

'No, it's not.' Ghost snapped. I closed my eyes and gritted my teeth as he dabbed at the welt with some antiseptic.

'Ow.' I hissed.

'Sorry.' He apologised gently. 'You don't need stitches, if that helps.'

'No. My hair's gonna stink.' I sighed and leaned my forehead against his stomach. Three more horns went off and we were joined by Roach, Jeremy and Toad.

Ghost spent a lot longer than necessary making sure that the bleeding had stopped and the swelling was going down. Even when we were only waiting on MacTavish and Chemo, he was fussing over me. Of course, Roach had tried to get involved and help as well, but he had gotten snapped at big time, so he was content with sitting next to me and making sure I didn't have a concussion or anything.

The final horn went off and two minutes later, MacTavish and Chemo came in laughing and joking.

'Victorious again!' MacTavish cheered. Nobody took him on and he frowned, 'Wow, who died?'

'Me, almost.' I piped up over the crowd that had gathered round me to check if I was alright. They parted and made their way back to the seats when I spoke though.

'Why doesn't it surprise me that it was you?' He laughed and made his way over, slowing down slightly when he saw the med kit. 'Wait, what happened?'

'Natalie thought Kenzie would be a good dummy for practicing headshots on.' Ghost explained sharply.

'Hey, you're learning!' I hit his arm and grinned when he didn't call me by my full name.

'Shut it.' He nudged me back, being careful not to jostle me too much. MacTavish pushed Roach out of the way so that he could inspect my injury for himself and I physically felt his entire demeanour change.

'You. Out. Now. We need to talk.' He jerked his thumb at Natalie and she scurried after him without a single word. Nobody spoke when they left, probably in the hopes that they would hear him tearing Ali down off her high horse.

'Am I gonna be cool for round 2?' I asked nobody in particular.

'Should be.' Archer swung his chair back onto two legs, 'I remember one time Toad accidentally shot me in the face and I just kept going.'

'Nobody likes a show-off.' Toad lifted his foot and tipped the chair over with Archer on it. The small room erupted into hysterics. Even Ghost was laughing! MacTavish and Natalie came back in just as everyone was calming down and my eyebrows raised when I saw that Ali's eyes were red and puffy.

_Don't you dare feel sorry for her, I'm warning you, Z. She just doesn't like the fact that there are bigger people here looking out for you. Maybe if I had done the same she wouldn't have done this. _

'You did plenty.' I spoke aloud without thinking, but thankfully, only Ghost and Roach heard me since I was right between them. Roach pretended like I hadn't said anything, but Ghost surprised me by stroking the back of my head just once, then gently cupping my cheek for a few seconds before letting his hand drop. Like I had done with him the other night, he was telling me without words that he understood and that he was here for me. It brought tears to my eyes and I had to dip my head so that nobody saw.

_You are such a stubborn arse sometimes. Just say it, Kenzie! _

'No.' I whispered so quietly that not even he would hear me.

_I always did know you better than you even knew yourself. Want me to say it for you?_

'No.'

_You're falling in love with him._

I opened my mouth to bitch him out and tell him to stop being so stupid, but instead, I just closed my eyes and nodded slowly.

'Yes.'

* * *

After a fifteen minute break, I was raring to go again. I wasn't allowed to tie my hair back up until the swelling had gone down which was irritating. I only wore my hair down when I was relaxing and not working or training.

We kept the same teams, except from MacTavish. He was making Ali sit this one out, so he was one down.

'I'll get you this time, old man.' I grinned as we lined up again.

'I'd love to see how your mind works sometimes, lass.' He chuckled, 'Everybody ready?' We all nodded and checked that we were fully loaded, 'GO!'

I managed to take out Jeremy and Toad while they both tried to bolt for cover behind a wall, narrowly avoiding fire from someone in the top floor of the opposite buildings. I steered clear of them until most of the horns had gone off, scared to chance it again.

Crouching behind a barrell, I reloaded and got my breath back. I had no idea who was still in the other team. MacTavish probably. Maybe Roach?

'Blitz!' I glanced behind me and saw Ghost run over and duck down next to me. 'MacTavish is the last one left. He's yours, okay?'

'What?' I whispered.

'I'm going to let him hit me and then you're going to get him.'

'Why?'

'Stop asking questions!' He hissed, 'Just do it.' I snapped my mouth shut to stop myself from blurting out anything stupid and nodded. I watched as he made his way swiftly across the field, not even bothering to be sneaky about it. Once he entered the building, I got up and sprinted closer, praying that MacTavish had been too busy getting ready to take out Ghost to see me coming.

I had just positioned myself beneath the bottom level window when the horn went off to indicate that one of them was out. I closed my eyes for a second before taking a deep breath and entering the building. I crept forward slowly, keeping my gun up and aimed. I took the stairs excruciatingly slow, taking extra care not to make any noise.

MacTavish was lying prone with a sniper by the window. I grinned to myself when I saw him, proud that I had made it up here without him spotting me. I tried to think of something quick and witty to say, but I came up blank, so instead I just cleared my throat loudly before shooting him in the back.

'Motherfucker.' He threw down his gun and jumped to his feet.

'Did I win?' I beamed.

'Aye, you did that.' He sighed and put his hands on his hips. I squealed and jumped up and down. 'Alright, watch yourself lass!' He put his hands on my shoulders. 'We'll go see if they're up for one more round then you're going inside to relax.'

'Ugh, fine!' I threw my hands up and stomped back down the stairs, having to stop and wait for MacTavish to show me the other way out. When we got back to the Time Out area, everyone turned to look at us expectantly.

'Well?' Roach urged, impatient to hear who had won.

'Guess who just shot the Captain?' I trilled.

'YES!' The guys who were in my team jumped up to slap their hands into mine and give me a hug. 'In your face, MacTavish!'

I looked through the cluster of bodies and saw Ghost watching Ali carefully. Her eyes were narrowed slightly and her lips were pulled into a tight line. She glanced up towards him and crossed her arms before training her gaze on the floor.

I squeezed my way through to them and tugged on his sleeve, 'I did it!'

'You sure did.' He nodded and put an arm round my shoulder. Ali was staring at me now and with a small smile, I looped an arm round Ghost's waist. 'No hard feelings, right Natalie?' I cocked my head slightly and it took her a few moments, but she eventually got to her feet and forced a grin.

'No hard feelings.' It was my turn to look smug when I watched her walk away.

_You can be such a bitch sometimes, you know that?_

Not caring if Ghost or anybody else heard this time, I laughed openly. 'Tell me about it.'

* * *

I was newly showered and changed into a pair of casual clothes, looking forward to just kicking back and relaxing in the rec room for a while, but apparently, even that was too much to ask for.

All I saw when I walked in was Toad and Roach holding Archer's arms while he shouted and screamed at Jeremy who was being flanked by Chemo and Rocket. I sighed and quickly rubbed my forehead before going to see what had happened. I had learned in my time as a soldier that if I waded right into the middle of a fight, nobody would hit me because I was a girl. So I had done my fair share of peace making over the years.

'What's going on?' I asked.

'I-I just wished him a happy birthday, that's all!' Jeremy stuttered.

'Archer, what the hell!' I threw my hands up and turned to look at him.

'Kenzie, let it go.' Toad just shook his head, but I wasn't one to let things like this drop so I walked up to him and planted my hands in his chest.

'No. Come on, we'll go talk.' Reluctantly, Toad and Roach let Archer go so I could take him outside to cool down. We ended up at the smoking bench because even though he wasn't a smoker, he had asked if he could have just one for the "special occasion."

'He only wished you a happy birthday, dude.' I said as he pulled one out of my packet.

'Exactly!' He scoffed as he lit his cigarette, 'I don't know how the fuck he managed to find out it was today, but whoever it was that told him must've wanted him to get his ass kicked.'

'Archer, calm the fuck down, he was just trying to be nice! There's obviously a story behind this and you have about five seconds to start talking before I'm the one that's doing the ass kicking.'

He took three slow draws before sighing, 'His name was Chase. He was my best friend, my brother practically. We were born on the same day, in the same hospital, in the same ward. We always spoke about coming into the armed forces together, side by side, like always.' He sniffed hard and I automatically took his hand into mine. '4 hours and 10 minutes before he turned 16 exactly, he died in his sleep. I still don't know what caused it, but...' He trailed off and sniffed again.

'Oh, Archer.' I rested my head on his shoulder and tried to stop myself from crying for him. 'I'm sure he would be proud of you.'

'I hope so.'

'I bet he is.' I smiled to myself, even though he couldn't see it, 'He's probably up there with Aaron right now laughing at us for being pussies though.'

'Who's Aaron?' Archer seemed happy to get off the topic of his old friend, and I gladly obliged. I told him the entire story, right up until we said goodbye. For once, I didn't feel the urge to cry or run away and hide in my room or punch something. I felt... I don't know how I felt.

_I'm proud of you too, Short Stuff. Don't forget that._


	16. Simon Riley

MacTavish had told us that we had about four days off while Shepherd chased up leads and gathered as much intel as he could for the next mission. When he had announced it, everyone's first reaction was to get excited. Me? Not so much. For the first few hours I just sat in my room wondering what the hell I was going to do. Training alone gets boring really fast and there was only so many cigarettes I could smoke in a day. It wasn't until I finally left my room and found Ghost eating alone in the cafeteria that I made an uneasy decision.

I was going home.

'Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?' I sat down opposite him and stole one of his chips from his plate.

'You're going to tell me anyway.' He sighed, pushing the rest of his lunch towards me.

'Taking a trip back to Scotland. You told me on my first day that I should write home and see what was going on, but I'm gonna do one better.' I studied what I could see of his face while I chewed and I wanted to cry for him. He didn't have anybody to go home and visit. He was more alone than any of us here. I nudged his leg under the table and his head lifted a little. 'You're coming with me.'

'Excuse me?'

'You don't want to be stuck here by yourself for a few days, do you? Come with me. It'll be good to have someone from base with me as well, just in case it gets a bit too much.'

'Take MacTavish.'

'I don't want to.' I popped another chip in my mouth and tried to see past his glasses. What was he thinking?

'You're not going to take no for an answer.' It wasn't a question, but I shook my head and grinned at him anyway. He sighed again and pulled his mask back down into place, 'Okay, fine. I'll come with you.'

'Yes!' I fist pumped the air and he groaned.

'Don't make me regret it.' 

* * *

We had been standing outside my front door for about ten minutes while I built up the courage to knock.

'You know, those people wouldn't have stared as much if you weren't wearing your mask.'

'Haven't you stalled long enough, Mackenzie?' He looked down at me and I dipped my head. I was so scared of what I was going to walk in there and find. Was Bonnie still here? Was one of my parents passed out on the floor? Was anybody even home?

'Hey,' I jumped when I felt Ghost slide his hand into mine. I glanced up and saw the warmth in those perfect blue eyes that almost made me melt, 'I'm right here. You're gonna be fine.' My insides twisted and I took a jagged breath. Taking strength from the man next to me, I raised my free hand and rapped my knuckles against the wood three times.

The seconds dragged by excruciatingly slow and I was ready to just walk away when the door creaked open.

'Kenzie?'

'Bonnie?' I hadn't realised that I'd been holding my breath until I saw my sisters face. She looked so different than what I remembered. Her beautiful blonde hair was no longer greasy and straggly and her skin had a glow to it that complimented the shine in her brown eyes. She looked... Alive. 'You look great.'

'Oh my God.' She threw herself at me and if it hadn't been for Ghost I would've probably toppled to the ground. 'I thought you were dead.' I felt her tears soak my neck and I fought against the prickling in my nose.

'Nope, still fighting fit.' I chuckled weakly and she pulled away, wiping at her cheeks.

'Come in, come in.' She ushered us in. I looked around in awe, noticing how the carpet was clean and the wallpaper wasn't peeling. I dropped my bag at the bottom of the stairs and peered round into the living room.

'Holy shit, Bonnie, what's happened to this place?' There were no empty tins and crisp packets lying around and our sofa that had been spewing out stuffing at the seams had been replaced with a sleek new leather one.

'I'll explain in a minute. Do you two want anything to drink? Tea? Coffee?' I heard her rummaging around in the cupboards in the kitchen and took the opportunity to turn to Ghost and express my shock.

'This is not the house I left behind!' I whispered, then in a louder voice, 'Two coffee's please!'

'Maybe they just decided it was time for a change?' He shrugged, 'How are you feeling?'

'I don't know.' I ran my fingers through my hair and puffed out my cheeks. 'Thank you, though.'

'For what?'

'Coming here with me.' Remembering that his hand was still linked with mine, I gave his fingers a quick squeeze and watched his eyes crinkle when he smiled. I finally let go of him when we sat down at the kitchen table with Bonnie.

'Before you tell me anything, I should probably make some introductions! This is my Lieutenant, Ghost. Ghost, this is my sister Bonnie.' Normally that's when most people would shake hands, but my sister was obviously put off by his balaclava, so she settled on just offering him a smile and a "nice to meet you".

'You've missed so much, Kenzie.' She shook her head and wrapped her fingers round her mug. 'The short answer to your question would be that Dad moved out and Mam got clean.'

'Are you kidding?' I gasped.

'Nope.' Her smile was dazzling and it was painfully obvious that she was finally happy. Even when she explained what made everything change, her good mood didn't falter in the slightest. 'After you left the second time, I still tried to take my own life. Mam found me before I actually died though and I guess that was the kick she needed to get her life sorted. Dad said he would try as well, but I think it just made him worse. Mam wasn't having any of it though, so she booted his arse straight out the door and told him not to come back until he was at least one year clean too.'

'Wow.' I was smiling, but on the inside, it was like someone was repeatedly punching me in the gut. All those years that they saw me struggling, and they hadn't even thought about changing anything. Even when they saw the harm I had inflicted upon myself, they didn't change. Hell, it only made the beatings worse. I ran away to start a career that made me put my life on the line every single day just to get away from them and once they thought I was gone for good... That's when they decided to get their lives in check. I'd had years of suffering for absolutely nothing.

_You wouldn't have been as close to MacTavish. You wouldn't have met me or Roach or anybody that you love now. You would never have met Ghost._

'I know right? Mam's got a job now and everything. It's nothing fancy, just pulling pints down at the local, but it's a start.' I let Bonnie tell me about everything I had missed. I let her tell me about her new job as a sales rep and about her new boyfriend and the holidays they'd been on and I laughed in all the right places and I grinned and squealed when it was acceptable, but I just wasn't feeling it.

This family was much better off without me, and I think it was time to finally accept that.

* * *

***Ghosts POV***

**** **_I was back in Salford at the Old Duke Inn, complaining to the bartender, Hodgson, about my life. As usual, his advice was to just relax, but that was out of the picture. I never relaxed anymore. I had forgotten the meaning of the word. _

_'I'm off now father. I'll be home late.' _

_'Not too late, dear.' At the sight of Hodgson's daughter, something in me changed. All I wanted was to turn her round and rip her pretty pink blouse off and I had absolutely no problem in voicing these thoughts to the both of them._

_'Even street trollops have fathers, Hodgson.' I leered. _

_'That's true, that's true.' I forgot all about the bartender and his daughter the instant I heard that voice come from the shadows. _

_I twisted in my seat, anger flaring, 'Roba!' _

_'You tell him, English. I taught you good, no?' I pulled out the Uzi that I carried everywhere with me now and expertly gunned down the men that he had hired to protect his ass. The poor bastards didn't stand a chance. _

_I lunged forward and wrapped my fingers around his throat, 'What did you do to me, you dirty son of a bitch?'_

_'Don't you know, English? I killed you.' His round, tanned face slowly morphed into a skull and his taunting laughter rang round and round my head. With a roar of rage, I aimed my gun and pulled the trigger, watching his skull crack and break._

_I thought he was gone. I thought I had finally done it, but no. _

_'You can't kill me, English.' I blinked and he was back in front of me, except this time, his face was painted so he looked like a skeleton. 'I'm in here, stupid.' He pressed one chubby finger against my forehead and I ripped myself away from him, firing my gun blindly in his direction. _

_'You're my bitch, English.'_

I shot up with a strangled cry, sweat dripping off me. The nightmares... They were always the same. I looked around slowly, swallowing hard. Where was I? _Kenzie's_! We were at Mackenzie's house. I was okay. She was okay. Roba was not here anymore. Roba was dead. He couldn't hurt anybody ever again.

'Ghost?' Her sleepy voice pulled me right back down to earth. 'Are you okay?'

'Fine.' I choked out, slipping my hands under my mask so that I could rub my face properly. It was a bitch having to sleep with it on, but I didn't want her to see me. I could barely even look at myself in the mirror, for Christ's sake.

'You're not fooling anybody, tough guy. Get up here.' I had been a gentleman and let her have her own bed. I was content with just a blanket, a pillow and the floor. Bonnie had offered me the sofa, but when that had been suggested, the look on Mackenzie's face was enough to make me politely decline.

She was already holding back her duvet for me, giving me no choice but to get in next to her. Her room was lit up faintly by the glow of the moon outside, so I saw the way her eyebrows pulled together when she touched my arm gently, feeling how damp my skin was.

'That must've been one hell of a dream.' She muttered to herself as she propped herself up onto her elbow. 'Wanna talk about it?'

I closed my eyes and pushed my balaclava up over my mouth in hopes that it would cool me down a little. 'I can't get his face out of my head.'

'Who's?'

'Remember the Mexicans?' I cracked one eye open and saw her nod slowly. 'Yeah, well, his. I had pills to stop it, but I can't remember the last time I took them. Must be years now. They didn't help anyway.'

'I wish I could tell you that it'll all be okay.' Mackenzie said in a small voice. I opened my eyes fully and saw her twisting her fingers together. I watched her for a moment, admiring her beauty. She really had no idea how gorgeous she actually was.

'You don't have to tell me anything.' I sighed. We were both wide awake now and we just lay together in silence for a while. She didn't know that I was watching her, not until she took her bottom lip between her teeth and looked up at me properly.

'I've been meaning to ask you this for ages now, but did you get your call sign because of how good you are at sneaking up on people?' It wasn't what I expected at all, but her question still made me tense. The sensible thing to do would be to just nod and keep letting her think that. I usually let everyone else come up with their own explanations, and that was usually the one they landed up on, but it was Mackenzie. I could tell her anything. I _wanted _to tell her everything.

'No.'

'Oh?'

I rubbed my eyes and tried to get comfortable. 'Remember when I told you that I got the fucker who killed my family?'

'Yeah?'

'I switched our tags before I burned the building he was in.' I took a deep breath and sat up again, startling Kenzie. I bent my head and clasped my hands round the back of my neck. I felt her move and seconds later, she had her arms around me and was resting her head against my shoulder. 'Roba killed me long before that. I'm just a ghost of the man I used to be.'

'I don't know if that's smart or heartbreaking.' Kenzie whispered. 'I'm gonna have to go with heartbreaking.'

'You don't know half of it.' I laughed once without humour. 'Officially, I'm dead. And as Shepherd so rightly said, there's isn't a soul alive that gives a shit. That's why he took me into the Task Force.'

'You might be officially dead on record, but you're still here and you're still alive. If you get killed out on a mission, I know that I would give plenty of shits. So Shepherd's wrong.' She mumbled against my skin.

I stared at a swirling pattern on her duvet in complete awe. I couldn't remember the last time I had heard anybody say that they cared about me.

'Ghost... What's your name?' Was her next question.

I opened my mouth and just let the words roll from my mouth without even thinking about it, 'Simon Riley.'

'I'm really glad I met you, Simon.' That was when I unclasped my hands and looked round at her. She smiled when she saw me looking and I smiled back, but then I remembered she couldn't see it.

'I'm really glad I met you too, Mackenzie.' I said when I made my mind up. 'You've done more for me in the time that you've been in the Task Force than any amount of pills and psychiatrists could do for me in a lifetime... I owe you this much.' Before I could change my mind, I scrunched my fingers into my balaclava and threw it to the floor, finally showing her my face.

I heard her small intake of breath and closed my eyes. Why the fuck had I thought that this would be a good idea?

'You're beautiful.'

'What?' My eyes flew open and I was genuinely shocked to not see her covering her eyes or curling her lip in digust.

'I said you're beautiful.' Even in the gloom, I could see the red tinge that was flushing her cheeks. I had no idea how to reply to that, so the ball was in her court. I waited, and after she was done getting shy about what she had said, she scrambled up onto her knees and really looked at me. I tried not to flinch away from her touch when she started tracing the scars on my face.

When she was done, she put her arms round my neck and hugged me.

'Thank you, Ghost.' I opened my mouth to reply, but anything I could possibly say would just come out wrong. Instead, I hugged her back, enjoying the feeling of her body against mine. _My strong, beautiful Mackenzie. _

It had taken me a while, but I think I had finally put my finger on what she was doing to me. It had been the longest and most agonizing time, but after all these years, I was starting to feel all the right things again, and she was the one person I had to thank for it.

I was in love with her. ******


	17. Briefing

_**Not much happens in this chapter, I know, I'm sorry! I just had to put in the final build up to Loose Ends, which is the very next chapter. While I've got you, I just want to thank you for the favourites and the reviews, they mean a lot! Anyway, I'll shut up now. Enjoy! x**_

* * *

I had enjoyed my time away from base, but I was so glad to be back. My mind was at rest knowing that Bonnie was okay and that my mother was back on the right track and I really couldn't have cared about my father. They were all fine without me, just like I was fine without them.

The only thing I wasn't looking forward to was going back to sleeping in my own room with Ali. For the past few nights I had been sleeping in the same bed as Ghost, seeing as it seemed to stop both of us from having any horrible dreams.

On our first night away, I had asked what his name was just to see if he would tell me what I already knew, and I got a whole lot more than I bargained for. He showed me his face! Ghost actually took off his infamous mask and showed me his face. And he was so gorgeous. I'd always imagined his hair to be blonde or maybe even black, but it was a dark mahogany brown that was scruffy from being kept under his balaclava all the time. He had a variety of scars spattered over his high, strong cheekbones, and of course I was no stranger to those striking blue eyes. I had managed to convince him that he didn't need to wear the mask around me all the time anymore because I liked seeing Simon, and he surprised me further by leaving it at home when we went for drinks with my sister and her boyfriend. After that, he hardly wore it at all.

He seemed happier and more talkative on the way back to our base and I was praying that he wouldn't put his walls back up. I had loved every single second away with him and I didn't want it to end just like that.

We were coming down into base and I peered out the window to see MacTavish waiting for us. I grinned and waved madly, suddenly excited beyond words to see them all again. When I watched Ghost pull his mask back on and pick up our bags, and when I ran over to throw myself at MacTavish, and when I received bone crushing hugs from the rest of the team, that's when I realised that the blood relatives I had just come back from visiting were nothing compared to these lot. Even my little sister was happier without me. But when I beamed up into everyone else's grinning faces, I knew that I was happier too. As long as these guys were with me, wherever I went, I was home. 

* * *

The next day we were called into the briefing room to see Shepherd, who welcomed us all back just a little too kindly for my liking. I studied him as he spoke, noticing that his guarded eyes didn't make contact with any of ours. _What was he not telling us?_

'It's been a tough week, gentlemen. We've lost more than we ever dreamed, but we will recover.' I didn't even bat an eye when he said gentlemen. I was too used to it by now, and judging by Ali's expression, she was too. 'I've got a blank check. And we're gonna use every cent of it killin' Makarov. Despite what the world may say, we are not savages, we don't kill civilians. We use precision. There's an evil man hiding in these shadows and we're gonna bring him into the light. Once his face is revealed, we will write history, gentlemen.'

A small cheer came from the back of the room and I rolled my eyes, knowing exactly who it was that was making the noise. Glancing behind me, I was right in thinking that it was Roach, Archer and Jeremy. They all high-fived each other and nodded violently, getting themselves pumped up.

Shepherd ignored them and turned to the map on the screen. I watched the pointer blur and move, finding it's target. 'These are the last safe havens left on earth for Makarov and his men.'

'Sounds like we gotta be in two places at once.' Price shifted in his seat, leaning forward. For a fleeting moment, I thought he was going to get up and into Shepherd's face again, but he remained seated.

'Impossible?' Our General raised an eyebrow.

Price looked around the room, taking in all of our faces, a smirk slowly spreading across his face. He shook his head, 'Not for the One-Four-One.'

'Fifty-fifty chance to take out Makarov, eh?' Ghost spoke up next. When Shepherd nodded, he crossed his arms, 'Captain Price, permission to take the safehouse with Roach.'

'Granted. Soap and I will take the boneyard in Afghanistan.'

'Very well. We will cut off all avenues of escape. This ends now.'

'Strange.' Price stood up and rubbed at his chin, everything about the way he acted just dripping with sarcasm, 'I coulda sworn we ended this war yesterday.' I couldn't hold it in anymore and snorted a laugh. Shepherd's eyes snapped down to me in a way that made me want to curl myself into a ball. Cringing, I got to my feet and exited the room before anybody else. I was stood outside, waiting for Roach and Ghost, when I saw how close Ali stood by Shepherd before following everybody else out. I frowned when she glanced up at him and I saw him take something out of his pocket. I couldn't see the rest of their exchange because the two men I was waiting for got in the damn way. Tutting, I tried to push what I had just witnessed to the back of my mind.

'When are we leaving then?' I fell into step next to them and I heard Ghost sigh quietly.

'What makes you think you're not going with Price and MacTavish?'

'I dunno.' I glanced behind me to see Ali flounce out of the briefing room, a smug little smile on her face. I whipped my head back round and frowned.

_You need to be wherever she is. Something's not right. _

'Actually, I'll get back to you when I find out where Ali's gonna be.'

Ghost looked down at me, not saying anything for a few seconds. I tried to tell him with my eyes that something was wrong, and I think he understood, because he nodded and touched my shoulder, 'I'll ask Price later.'

But I already knew where Ali was going before Ghost told me later that evening. I had waited until she went to shower before raking through her belongings, trying to find a clue as to what was going on. I hit the jackpot when I found her journal with a few notes tucked inside.

I didn't have time to read through it properly, but the lines that really stuck out were, "I can't believe that Kenzie's here! She's always ruined everything" and "He found out what I did to her at training. He's asked me to help him." The notes were really vague. All that most of them had on them were dates and locations. I picked out the most recent easily as it simply read, "Caucasus Mountains. Do it."

_What did I tell you about your nightmare? Shepherd's going to screw you all over and you know it. _

'I have to kill her, don't I?' I spoke out loud to Aaron's voice, feeling utterly defeated.

_You don't have any other choice, Kenzie. I'm sorry._


	18. Loose Ends

_**Ahhh, this chapter was so hard to write! I really, really hope I did it justice and I hope you guys don't hate it! The pressure to make this good and up to scratch was insane haha. There were so many things I wanted to cram into it, but I just didn't have the chance, so I'm sorry if it seems rushed or kind of off in some parts. At least try and enjoy it anyway. Thanks! x**_

* * *

We were at the Georgian-Russian border and there was a horrible feeling in the air. It might've just been me, but I really was not looking forward to this. I hadn't told anybody about what I found, just because I didn't want to get sent down for murdering one of our own. I knew I should've told Ghost at least part of it, but he had already been betrayed by his Captain once. I wanted to single-handedly make sure it never happened again. It was probably really stupid of me, but I didn't want to burden anyone with this information. I could stop this without having to involve them, so that's what I was planning on doing.

Me, Roach and Ghost were crouched on top of the hill with Archer and Toad while they got loaded and ready. The rest of our them were already down at the bottom waiting.

'Snipers in position.' Archer confirmed eventually.

'Strike Team, go. Engage Makarov on sight.'

'Roger that, solid copy.' Toad nodded and I smiled at how funny they looked in their Ghillie suits.

'Let's go, let's go.' Ghost urged us all to get a move on. We ran in silence, the only sound coming from the grass crunching beneath our feet. This being the case, we all heard the whirring of the land mines as they detected our motion and flew up from the ground.

'Ambush!' I heard Ghost roar. Through the sudden haze of panic, I still managed to regain some common sense and drop down to my stomach to survive the blast. 'Targets! Left side, left side!' Staying prone, I aimed towards the soldiers who were emerging from their hiding places.

'They've got this area presighted for mortar fire!' Scarecrow yelled back at us. Just as the words came from his mouth, smoke grenades went off around us, completely obscuring our vision.

'I hope to fuck that they don't have thermals.' I muttered to myself, following Ghost's orders and delivering a counterattack into the smoke. We managed to manoeuvre our way around using the stumps of newly cut trees, but every time we hit a clear patch, another smoke grenade would be thrown.

Eventually, I hit a chainlink fence and did a horribly stupid thing. I pressed my back to the fence and began to follow it without any cover. My heart was in my mouth the entire time and I was just waiting for the pain and for my entire world to go dark, but it never did. None of the Russians had stopped to think that the smoke could hide their enemies too.

'We got two trucks leaving the target building!' Archer told us over the comms. I leaned round the side of the rocks I had come up against to see what he was talking about.

'Don't let those trucks get away!' Ghost shouted.

'Roger! Firing Javelin, danger close!'

'Javelin, danger close! Get back from the road!' I felt a hand yank me back and realised just before I lashed out that it was my Lieutenant. Partially hidden by the lingering smoke, we watched the two vehicles drive by us, 'Bloody hell, these trucks are bulletproofed.'

Moments later, we saw them both explode from the fire of the Javelin. Calmly, Archer reported, 'Moving vehicles have been neutralized. Be advised, we have not, I repeat, we have not spotted Makarov, and no one else has left the house. Those trucks may have been decoys. Over.'

'Roger that, we're advancing on the house now.' Ghost pushed at my back gently and I started to make my way up the drive way. I wanted to check to see who we had left after the ambush, but if I looked back now I would probably trip over my own feet and send myself sprawling.

I had just passed another stationary truck when I heard bullets clanging against the metal. 'Shit!' Despite the clumsy start, it took us all but seconds to clear the perimeter and that's when I saw that everyone was still in tact. Nobody had gone down yet.

'Breach and clear the safehouse! Go, go!' I followed Ghost up the porch steps to the front door and stood opposite him. I allowed myself one glance over at him before carefully setting the charges. It reminded me all too much of the very first mission I had done in the Task Force, and I still had to make sure this wouldn't be the last.

The door blew open and we began shooting immediately. There were only a few guards in our area of the house, so it didn't take long to clear that either.

_This is a little easy, no?_

He was right. Still, I held my tongue while Ghost told Ozone to hold down the kitchen. Roach went to help Scarecrow breach and clear the basement, leaving me and Ghost alone with Ali.

It would be so easy. Gun to the head, pull the trigger. Just like that, it could all be over, but I had to be patient. Even looking at her now made me want to throw my guts up. She shouldn't be here. She didn't belong with us.

'Check upstairs with Roach.' Ghost motioned his head towards her when Roach came back up from the basement. She nodded stiffly and followed on behind him. I placed my finger on the trigger and raised my gun slightly, getting ready just in case she tried anything.

'You've been quiet today.' It was weird to hear Ghost talking to me normally on a mission as intense as this one.

'Have I?'

'Yeah. You alright?'

'Just nervous.' I forced a smile and reached over to pat his arm. I couldn't tell, but it gave me some form of comfort to think that he might've been smiling back. My stomach fluttered and I looked away. I should tell him how I felt, but now really wasn't the time or place. When this was all over and Makarov was finally dead, I would tell him.

'Top floor clear!' Roach confirmed. I blew out a small sigh of relief when I heard his voice.

'All clear. Squad, regroup on me.' Ghost lowered his gun. Once everyone was back, he pointed towards the far wall and told Scarecrow to take some photographs, then he readjusted his headset, 'Shepherd, this is Ghost. No sign of Makarov, I repeat, no sign of Makarov. Captain Price, any luck in Afghanistan?'

'Plenty. At least fifty hired guns here, but no sign of Makarov. Perhaps our intel was off.' Price sounded as bitter as I felt and I immediately turned to look accusingly at Ali. Her chin raised defensively and she held steady eye contact, not giving anything away.

'Well the quality of the intel's about to change. This safehouse is a bloody gold mine.'

'Copy that, Ghost. Have your team collect everything you can for an operations playbook. Names, contacts, places, everything.' Shepherd's voice came over the comms, making me lose my staring competition with Ali.

'We're already on it, sir. Makarov will have nowhere to run.'

'That's the idea. I'm bringing up the extraction force, E.T.A. five minutes. Get that intel. Shepherd out.'

'Roach, get on Makarov's computer and start the transfer. Ozone, you're on rear security. I've got the front. Go.' Everyone scattered and I found a cosy little spot to crouch into right next to the computer. Scarecrow was still taking pictures, but he was starting to hurry himself along now.

'Task Force, this is Price. More of Makarov's men just arrived at the boneyard... Soap, cover me. I'm gonna slot that guy over there and use his radio to tap into their comms. Ghost, we're going silent for a few minutes. Good luck up there in Russia. Price out.' A heavy feeling seemed to fall on my shoulders and after hearing Price say that, my eyes started to sting with unwanted tears.

'Fuck, man.' I whispered to myself, dipping my head for a minute and using my sleeve to wipe at my eyes. Why did I know that we were going to need all the stupid fucking luck in the world?

We'd all geared up and gotten into defensive positions when Archer told us that there were enemy helos coming in from the northwest and the southeast. We had 15 seconds.

'Here we go!' Roach yelled through gritted teeth when we saw the first wave of soliders coming in. I quickly touched my lips to Aaron's dog tags and got to work. It helped clear my mind of everything. It was kill or be killed and that was all that ever mattered when someone was shooting at you. You never had time to worry about being betrayed by one of your own. You never had time to worry about stupid relationships. All you could worry about was surviving. And I loved it.

'I'm hit!' Ozone's pained cry tore through my bubble and I had to choke back a sob as his line fuzzed for a few seconds then cut out. Now that was the only thing I didn't love about this job.

'Be advised, you have a large concentration of hostiles moving in from the southeast, they just breached the perimeter!' Archer was just the bearer of bad fucking news, wasn't he? 'I'll try to thin them out before they get too close. Recommend you switch to scoped weapons, over.'

And so it went for what felt like hours. Just as we thought they were all dead, Archer would tell us of another team approaching from a different direction. I was beginning to think that this is where we were all gonna die, hopefully starting with Ali.

'I'm displacing. You're gonna be without sniper support for 30 seconds, standby.'

'Fuck you, Archer.' I grumped, angrily swiping at a stray strand of hair that was getting into my eyes while I reloaded. Scarecrow chuckled next to me, amused by my words. His ability to keep such a light heart even when we were under such heavy fire made me want to smile... But then I watched a bullet pierce his neck. He slumped back against the wall, his eyes finding mine one last time.

'No...' I whimpered and shook my head in denial. It was Afghan all over, watching my squad get taken down right in front of my eyes. There was nothing but gunfire and blood. They were all dying... I couldn't stop it... It was too much...

_Snap out of it, Kenzie! You're going to get yourself killed! _Aaron's voice seemed to ring louder and clearer throughout my mind and I shook my head again. Scarecrow's body was now lying limp on the ground, blood pooling around him. Turning my face away, I managed to choke out, 'Scarecrow is down, I repeat, Scarecrow is down.'

I took a steadying breath and with fingers that were still shaking, I threw a grenade out the door and onto the driveway to get myself back on track. At least we didn't have to stay much longer though. Ghost was backing his way out of the office, shouting out orders behind him.

'Roach, the transfer's complete! I'll cover the main approach while you get the DSM! Move!'

'This is Shepherd, we're almost at the LZ. What's your status, over?' I wanted to spit when I heard his voice in my ear. This was all his fault. Ozone and Scarecrow were dead and it was all his fault. Ali appeared back through from the kitchen, blood splattered over her uniform. I glowered in her direction and I made sure she saw it. She was a part of this too. She was just as much to blame.

_Bitch._

'We're on our way to the LZ. Come on, let's go!' Ghost yelled at us. I waited until Ali had bolted out the door behind them until I moved from my position. Determination was starting to build in me and it took an enormous amount of willpower to keep running with them instead of shooting an entire clip into her.

'They're bracketing our position with mortars! Keep moving, but watch your back!' We were entering thicker woodland and it was harder for us to hold a formation. Ghost and Roach split off to the right and I split to the left having lost sight of Ali.

Mortars were coming down left, right and fucking centre and I wondered how the hell we had even made it this far. One wrong step just a few inches in the wrong direction and I would be blown to pieces.

I looked up and caught sight of Shepherd's chopper coming in over the mountains. Just a little further...

One of the mortars exploded right next to me and I got blown down by the force of it. I struggled back to my knees, spitting out blood and dirt into the grass. 'Fuck...' Through all the commotion, I heard a gun click right behind me.

I should've been scared. I should've begged for my life. But I'll be damned if I would throw away my dignity for anybody, especially a rat like Natalie.

'How long have you been in on this?' I asked, putting my hands up and watching Shepherd's chopper slowly lower itself to the ground. Where were the guys?

'Since the night of the drill. He thought I had potential and he was right.'

'Nah, Shepherd's wrong about a lot of things, and this is one of them.' I moved my head round slightly, still looking for the other two.

_Keep her talking._

'Girls like you are all the same, you know that? You think you're so cute and funny and popular, but while you were busy screwing your way to the top, I was getting the recognition I deserved. I guess you just can't handle that.' She pressed the gun against the back of my skull.

I ground my teeth together and tried to think of what I could say to that. Do I apologise? Another helicopter flew in hot and fast, firing as it went. I ducked my head reflexively and wanted to see what the hell was going on, but I didn't dare chance it.

Over the comms, I heard Ghost telling Roach to get up and hang in there. My heart sank and I knotted my fingers in my hair as desperation flashed through me. _Roach was down_. He was hit. _No_. This wasn't happening.

'Blitz. Don't. Move.' Archer! They were still alive!

Before I could even consider moving another inch, Ali hit the ground. 'Holy...' I trailed off and stumbled to my feet. Blood was now seeping from a bullet hole in her temple and I stepped away from her, not sure whether to laugh or cry. 'You've got one fuck of a shot, Archer.'

'I try my best.' I swooped down and snatched up my gun, noticing that Shepherd's chopper was fully landed now and the door was opening. He came strutting out just as Ghost and Roach came into view and my anger flared high enough to squelch out any sense of panic that was threatening to take over me.

_Get him, Kenzie. _

I started running, fuelled on by the thought of getting to smash his head open personally. I was getting closer, and I heard Ghost say, 'We got it, sir!'

'Good, that's one less loose end.' I watched in horror as he raised his pistol and shot Roach in the stomach.

'NO!' Ghost lifted his gun a second too late and Shepherd carelessly shot him too. It was a direct headshot and I screamed out in anger and pain and shock. _No. Not him_. Shepherd was going through Roach's jacket and he had gotten his hands on the DSM. He jumped when I screamed, looking startled to see that I had joined them - and with good reason. I was already meant to be dead.

'Ghost! Come in! This is Price! We're under attack by Shepherd's men in the boneyard! Do not trust Shepherd! I'll say it again, do not trust Shepherd!' I heard Price over the comms, but I wasn't able to answer him. Tears were blurring my vision to the point where I couldn't even see straight. I had promised myself not to let this happen to Ghost again._ I promised_! A red mist seemed to descend over my eyes and I felt myself start to tremble with pure rage.

My limbs had locked into place with my gun pointed right at the General's heart, now all I had to do was pull the fucking trigger.

'Blitz, wait.' Archer's voice whispered through the comms. I didn't want to listen to him this time, but I did, mainly because of how well he had managed to save my ass back there.

Shepherd raised his pistol again, away to finish me off too, but he let out a sudden cry of agony, dropping his gun to the ground. Blinking rapidly to rid myself of my tears, I saw blood spurting from a bullet wound in his arm.

'We still have sniper support. So unless you can find them in the next five seconds, you're dead.' I was surprised by how strong and steady I sounded. The gentle quivering of my gun should've given me away, but he didn't seem to care. He had the DSM, he had shot two of his best men; he was happy to leave me be to fend for myself out here.

I kept him in my sights until the door of his chopper was closed and they were in the sky. Only then did I drop to my knees in between Roach and Ghost, wishing on everything that we weren't too late. _It can't be over_.

'Mackenzie...'

'Oh my God!' I gasped and took Ghost's face into my hands. I searched for the bullet wound and found that it had gone through his shoulder, not his head. I had just seen things from the wrong angle. The wave of relief that crashed through me left me dizzy and I let a quick sob escape from my lips.

'No, don't cry, please don't cry.' He hissed and lifted one of his hands to try and stop the bleeding himself. 'Is Roach okay?' In a daze, I checked to see if Roach was still breathing.

'Yeah, he's alive.' I didn't know what to do. What was I meant to do? There were two people dying next to me and I had no idea what to do. 'Archer? Toad? Get down here now, we need your help.'

'Roger that.'

'Fucking hell.' I whispered to myself.

'Mackenzie, I have something to tell you.' Ghost said.

'Nope. I don't want to hear it. You can tell me later.'

'This really isn't the time to be stubborn...'

'I don't care. You are _not_ going to die, you hear me? I am not going to lose you like I lost everybody else! I fucking need you, Ghost!' I know he told me not to cry, but it was impossible. For every tear I brushed away, another three fell. This was all just one big, cruel twist of fate and I couldn't deal with it. 'We're all going to get out of here, you two are going to get better and I'm going to tell you that I love you and then we're going to go and blow Shepherd's brains out, okay? And you, Sanderson! You keep your fucking eyes open because I'm not losing you either.' I leaned over and slapped Roach's face gently. His eyelids fluttered and I bent my head over his chest, gripping his jacket in my fist. _I was going to lose them both_.

'I love you too, Mackenzie.' Ghost managed to say before he groaned loudly, 'Bollocks! We need Nikolai! Get Soap.'

I gasped quietly and my head snapped up. Had he just said...?

'Okay, we're here!' Archer and Toad were sprinting towards us. In any other circumstance, I would've laughed so hard at how stupid they looked running in those suits, but nothing was even remotely funny at the minute.

'Help them.' I sat back and let them take a look at the damage. I shuffled away to give them room and managed to get through to Soap on the comms.

'We need Nikolai.' I hated how dull and blunt I sounded.

'You're alive!' Faintly, I heard guns firing from his position and sent up a prayer that they would make it through this at their end too. 'We thought you were all done for.'

'Not quite. Ghost and Roach are bleeding out. We need transport, Soap, and we need it fast.'

'Leave it with me, lass.' And he was gone. I crawled back over to the guys and took Ghost's hand into mine. Archer and Toad were doing everything in their power to stop the bleeding and I think they were succeeding. To what extent, I wasn't sure.

'Nikolai's on his way.' I announced. I know that MacTavish hadn't fully confirmed it, but I was now putting five lives in his hands. He wouldn't leave us like this. I know he wouldn't.

Minutes scraped by and every time I let myself think of anything other than the fact that we were going to get out of here together and alive, I would start crying again, and I hated myself for it. This was meant to be the time when I stepped up and held my own, but I just couldn't do it. I'd already had to deal with Aaron's death. If I lost either of these two now, it would destroy me. So squeezing my eyes shut, I kissed Ghost's hand and bent my head down to his ear.

'I'm not going to let you die, Simon. I promise.'


	19. For The Record

Just as I had thought, MacTavish managed to get us out of here. Of course, that sent me into another flood of tears knowing that even though he was all the way out in Afghanistan, he was still being the best Captain anybody could ask for and getting his team out of trouble. There was a reason I looked up to that man, and he was doing a great job of showing me why.

We didn't have Nikolai himself picking us up since he was on call for Price and Soap in the boneyard, but he had hooked us up with one of his men who was taking us to a safe base where Roach and Ghost could get the medical help they needed.

For the duration of the journey, I sat in between the two with my knees tucked to my chest, just staring into nothingness. Archer and Toad tried several times to get a conversation from me, but their words weren't sinking in properly. It was like my entire world had turned to static and I could hear the voices in the background and I could see the shapes, but nothing was making sense.

'Mackenzie?' Of course there would always be an exception for Ghost. He was the only one that seemed to be able to cut through all the bullshit and bring me back to earth.

Stiffly, I turned my head to look at him. We had managed to bandage him up as best as we could with the little we had and he seemed to be doing okay. Roach, however, wasn't holding up that well. He kept drifting in and out of consciousness and every time without fail, my heart would sink down into my stomach.

I didn't reply to Ghost, and I don't think he expected me to. I would've smiled if I could've, but none of that seemed appropriate right now. Instead, I shuffled a little closer to him and laced my fingers through his.

Weakly, he pulled off his sunglasses so he could look at me properly. His eyes were so full of worry and I felt myself tearing up again. I tried to choke it down this time, seriously needing to sort myself out. I just felt so guilty. So _fucking _guilty. I should've just shot Ali when I had the chance. Hell, I could've killed her in her sleep if I'd wanted to, but no, I thought it would be a good idea to wait. Now look where that got us.

'I'm sorry.' I whispered, shaking my head gently.

'Don't.' His voice was stern and I bit the inside of my cheeks, trying to hold myself together. He didn't deserve this, not after all the shit he's been through. I was too busy pinning the blame on Shepherd or Ali that I lost track of what I was meant to be doing. So now it was all my fault. He could die and it would be on my shoulders.

'I knew that Shepherd was up to something. I read Ali's journal. I should've told you.'

'I knew about Natalie too.'

'What?' Shock made me jerk and I moved for the first time in God knows how long. My knee cracked when I stretched my legs out, but I barely felt it, 'Why didn't you say anything?'

His eyes told me that he was smiling, 'Because I believed in you.' I sat frozen, just staring at him. Slowly, his words hit home and I wanted nothing more than to hug him, but I knew if I did I would jostle his shoulder, and I didn't want him to be in anymore pain.

'Guys, we're here.' Toad stood up and got Roach ready to be shifted. I was starting to get anxious at the thought of being separated from them at the minute. I wanted to stay and make sure that they would be alright.

'Breathe, Kenzie.' Ghost squeezed my hand when the chopper landed, 'You can't kill someone who's already dead. And that little bug over there didn't get his name for nothing.' His feeble attempt at humour was completely wasted on me because the doors were open and we were all being ushered out. Everything began to blur together; there were so many new faces and the accents sent a chill down my spine. I didn't want to leave them.

Ghost and Roach got taken away in one direction and I whirled on my heel, trying to find Archer and Toad. I was resisting any form of help from the friendlies here, and I knew I was being an awkward bastard, but I needed to be with my team.

I got led over to a building that reminded me a lot of our own base, which made me relax a bit more. There was still no sign of Archer or Toad, but the men who were walking with me opened the door to what I think was their rec room. It was stripped down to basics - nothing like our one -, only consisting of a couple of old sofa's, a small TV and a battered looking radio.

'Thank you.' I forced myself to smile at the soldiers, but I don't think they understood English because all I got was a blank stare. Resisting the urge to sigh, I turned my back to them and sat down onto the sofa, dropping my head into my hands.

I let myself replay everything back in slow motion, taking the time to let it sink in and process it.

'Where are you when I need you, Aaron?' I mumbled into my skin. Nothing would have helped more right now than one of his big old bear hugs. He always used to squeeze the life out of me, but it was in a way that made me feel accepted and loved - something I had never been used to.

_I'm always here for you, Kenzie. You just can't see me anymore. _

'Tell me they're gonna be okay.'

_They're going to be okay, I can promise you that. They both have a lot of fight left in them. They're survivors, just like you._

'You can stop now.' A lump was beginning to form in my throat. I really didn't want to cry anymore. I could shed a million tears, but that wasn't going to bring Ghost back to me any quicker.

I felt an arm slide round my shoulder and for a fleeting moment I pictured Aaron sitting next to me, but when I looked up, it was into the faces of Archer and Toad, 'How you feeling, Blitz?'

'I... I don't know. Shepherd tried to kill us.' I gazed down at the carpet, feeling myself slip away from them again, 'Soap and Price... They're still out there. Do you think they'll come back here?'

'No,' I glanced up sharply and they were both shaking their heads, 'You should know Soap better than anyone, Blitz. He's not coming back until Shepherd's dead.'

'Yeah, Ali almost killed you 'cause of him.' Toad thumped down heavily on my other side. 'MacTavish will put his head on a stick for that.' I managed a small smile at the kind reminder of how much our Captain cared about me. I closed my eyes for a second, throwing myself back to my 17th.

_'Kenzie! Happy birthday, lass!' MacTavish threw his arms open for me and I jumped into them, grinning ear to ear. _

_'I didn't think you'd be back!' _

_'I couldn't miss your birthday, could I?' He laughed and set me down, 'I have something for you.' _

_'Ooh what is it?' I bounced up and down on the spot. He always brought me back the greatest presents from the places he'd visited, even if it was just a beautifully coloured stone he had found in foreign soil. Compared to the gifts my parents gave me, a rock was amazing._

_'Close your eyes.' _

_'Ugh!' I scoffed, but did as I was told, holding my hands out eagerly. I heard his soft chuckle at my impatience and a few seconds later, something cold and metallic was pressed into the palm of my hand. I opened my eyes and gasped. _

_'Oh my God, it's gorgeous! Aw, MacTavish, thank you!'I gasped and pressed a hand to the hollow of my throat before jumping up to hug him again. It was a simple silver bracelet, and had five little charms on it that spelt the word "Faith". _

_'You're very welcome.' He grinned and patted my back, 'You deserve it.'_

_'Don't say that.' I shook my head and got him to help me tie it round my wrist, 'This is the first nice thing I've gotten all day. If I deserved presents don't you think that I would get more than one?' _

_'Now you just sound greedy.' He ruffled up my hair and put his arm round my shoulder so I couldn't duck away, then he started walking us down the street, 'I care about you, so I get you nice things. If you don't want them...'_

_'No, no! I do, and it means a lot, thank you.' I sighed and twisted my wrist, grinning as my new accessory glinted in the light. 'I don't know what I'd do without you, MacTavish.' _

I snapped back to the present and immediately wished I hadn't. The heavy weight that was hanging in the air crashed back down onto me and I momentarily forgot how to breathe. _Ghost. Roach._

'When can we go see them?' I whispered. The anxious feeling that had gotten me worked up earlier returned with a vengeance and I jumped to my feet and began to pace.

'Soon.' Archer leaned forward and rubbed his face. 'Do you want me to go see if anybody out there has a cigarette you could have?'

'That would be very much appreciated!' I said a little louder than was necessary. He sighed again and left the room. I started to chew nervously on my thumbnail, not being able to get my mind off of the guys. My thoughts jumped to MacTavish and Price and I wondered how they were getting on.

'Soap and Price will be okay, won't they?' I quickly glanced down at Toad and he nodded. He seemed like he wanted to say something else, but given my current state he probably thought it better just to keep his mouth shut.

Archer eventually came back with a full packet of cigarettes and a lighter, 'Don't ask how or why.'

'Thank you!' I gave him a quick hug before going to find a decent smoking spot that wouldn't disturb anyone. I finished one, then wandered around for a bit, then had another. I wasn't a chain-smoker and I didn't even like the idea of it, but the nicotine was helping to calm my nerves and numb any sort of bad feeling, so I couldn't help reaching for a third. I was just away to light it when Toad came running over.

'You wanna go in and see Ghost?'

'Yes!' I reflexively dropped the cigarette and grabbed hold of his hand instead, letting him lead the way. _Ghost was fine! _My anxiety was immediately replaced by a surge of excitement. _What about Roach?_

We got to the medical bay and my grip on Toad tightened. Why was I nervous? We rounded the corner into one of the rooms and a grin split my face when I saw Ghost lying propped up against some pillows. He had his shirt off and his shoulder was all bandaged up properly and in a sling. But of course he still had on that goddamn mask!

'Hey.' My breath rushed from my lungs and a slow smile spread across my face.

'Hey.' He pushed himself up into a better sitting position and I grabbed the seat next to his bed. Automatically, he reached out his hand and I didn't think twice about taking it.

'How you feeling?'

'Sore, but I'll be on the go tomorrow hopefully.' He winced in pain as he got himself more comfortable. Forgetting all about Toad, I brushed my lips across the back of his hand and grinned again.

'You need to rest.'

'No, I need to get back to work.'

'Oh, shut it.' I shook my head and laughed. 'I was so worried about you.'

'I told you I would be fine and I am.' He sighed and laid his head back. His eyes closed for a moment and I took that chance to look at Toad. He was leaning against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest, just watching our little exchange. He caught me looking at him and smiled. I blushed and dipped my head, not knowing what to say to him. I guess it was more than obvious about my feelings for him now and there was absolutely no going back.

'Any word from those two up in Afghanistan?' Ghost asked.

'Not yet.' It was my turn to sigh. 'Is there any way we can get through to them?' My eyes darted between the two and both of them seemed to be coming up blank until Toad snapped his fingers.

'Would that old radio in the rec room be any use?'

Ghost thought about it for a moment and shrugged his good shoulder, 'I could have a look at it. I might be able to get through to their comms and find out what's going on.'

'On it.' Toad winked at me and then he left us alone. As soon as he was gone, Ghost yanked off his mask and drew in a deep breath.

'That's much better.' He smiled and I pulled myself up onto the bed to sit next to him.

'How did you know about Ali?' I asked, looking down at the sheets he was lying on. I'd always hated hospital beds. The blankets were too scratchy and thin and it was all so sickeningly white.

'I know when you're lying to me.' He cocked an eyebrow and I bit my lip to hold back a shy smile. 'When I told you she was coming to Russia, you took it way better than you should've. You were way too quiet as well, and I saw the looks you kept giving her. I knew she was up to something, but I didn't know it was that serious. What happened to her?'

'Archer shot her.' I made a face at the memory, 'She was going to kill me.'

'She what?' Anger flashed across his features.

'It's okay! I'm still here, right?' I took his hand back into mine and blushed when I thought about what we had said before we got on the chopper. 'Did you mean it?'

'Mean what?'

I cleared my throat and scratched my nose. God, why was I getting so embarrassed? It's only Ghost, for crying out loud! 'That you loved me.' I couldn't even look at him when I said it. I waited to hear him say that it was just one of those things that had slipped out because he thought we wouldn't all survive it, but he never did.

He gently took hold of my chin and tilted my head up to make me look at him. I was instantly caught in his stare and my heart began to beat double time.

'Of course I meant it, you muppet.' He murmered. _And then he kissed me_. It was so soft and warm and gentle and it made me forget about everything that had happened in the past 24 hours. When he broke it off, he laid his forehead against mine and it took a few minutes for me to regroup my thoughts and make sure I hadn't imagined it. When I was one hundred percent sure that I wouldn't stumble on my words and make a complete fool of myself, I grinned up at him.

'Stop calling me a muppet.'

* * *

The next day, I went to see Roach while Ghost continued to fiddle about with the radio. He was getting frustrated with it, so I was just leaving him to his own devices. The last I heard, Archer and Toad were going in to see if they could be of any help. All I could say to them was good luck.

'Hey, bug.' I bounced into Roach's room, which was only two down from Ghost's, and he glowered at me.

'What could you possibly be happy about?'

'Oh, a lot of things.' I shrugged and made myself comfortable at the bottom of his bed. 'How you feeling?'

'Shit. I wish I wasn't stuck in here.' He sighed and stared longingly out the window. 'What's everybody up to?'

'Ghost's trying to tap into Price and MacTavish's comms so we know what's going on.' I ran a hand through my hair and spared a glance out of the window too, 'I hope they make it back.'

'Oh, they will.' Roach smiled, 'Those two are an amazing team. You really shouldn't worry too much about them.'

'I'll try.' I puffed out my cheeks, then heard excited chattering coming from Ghost's room. I slid off the bed and told Roach that I would be back after I found out what had happened.

'Get them?' I poked my head round the side of the door.

Ghost looked up quickly, 'We're getting something. I don't know if it's what we're after though.' Curiosity was getting the better of me now and I squeezed by Archer to get up next to Ghost.

'This thing is such a piece of junk!' He hit it angrily and the static buzzed a bit louder for a few seconds, then there was a faint Russian voice. I frowned and tucked my hair behind my ear, leaning in a little closer.

Suddenly, it was Price's voice that was coming through the speakers, 'This is for the record...' We all shared the same shocked expression and Ghost turned up the volume so we could hear what was being broadcast, 'History is written by the victor. History is filled with liars. If he lives and we die, his truth becomes written and ours is lost. Shepherd will be a hero, 'cause all you need to change the world is one good lie and a river of blood. He's about to complete the biggest trick a liar ever played on history. His truth will be the truth, but only if he lives and we die.'

The connection cut out and nobody said a word. We just stared at the box, willing Price to come back and say that everything was under control and that they would see us in a few hours.

'What did he mean?' Toad muttered eventually.

'Shepherd thinks he's wiped the majority of us out.' Ghost explained slowly, 'He only knows that you two and Kenzie are still alive, so if he kills Soap and Price, that's it. Game over. You'll have to go dark for the rest of your life.'

An eerie silence fell upon the room and I couldn't take my eyes off of the radio. _Please, just come back on and tell us that Shepherd's dead. Tell us you're fine. Tell us it's over._ But they didn't come back. They didn't tell us that Shepherd was dead. We didn't know if they were fine. We didn't know if it was over.

The only thing we could do was wait.


	20. Endgame

_**So this is the final chapter of Scarred! I definitely have a sequel planned.. I'm working on it right now actually! It should hopefully be up in the next few days, but please bare with me! Anyway, thank you for taking time to read this story, enjoy the last chapter and stay tuned for an update on the sequel :). Thanks again! x**_

* * *

***Ghost's POV***

**** **It had been a weird couple of days. I had known full well before heading out to Russia that something strange was going on, but I had let history repeat itself right in front of my eyes. I had been powerless to stop it. I knew that the only reason I never died out there with Roach was because of Mackenzie.

She had looked so strong when she had stood over us and kept Shepherd at bay long enough for Archer to take that shot. She had looked so broken when she wept by our sides while we waited for backup. She had looked so empty when we were transported to the safe base. She had looked so beautiful when she came to see me once I was patched up, but now she just looked scared, and that was something I couldn't bare.

The last I had heard from Toad was that she was away out for a smoke, so I ignored the doctor's orders and forced myself up to get out of bed to go and find her. She was leaning against the wall by the fire exit, staring out at the peak of some mountains, a thoughtful expression clouding her features.

'Hey.' I pushed my mask up over my mouth and swooped down to kiss her cheek. I smiled when I saw her blush and asked if I could have one of her cigarettes.

'You shouldn't even be out of bed.' She hesitated before sighing softly and pulling one out of the packet for me.

'Kenzie, if I can survive being buried alive, then I can sure as hell get over a shot to the shoulder.' The words had slipped out before I even knew I was thinking them. I glanced down at her to gauge her reaction and felt relieved to see that she wasn't staring back at me in horror.

'Care to elaborate on that?' All she did was raise an eyebrow in what seemed like mild curiosity. I knew that I poked fun at her for being a terrible liar, but it really was ridiculously hard to figure out what she was truly thinking when she tried hard enough.

I blew out a puff of smoke and shook my head, 'Not really.'

'Don't start this again.' Her voice was gentle as she pulled me into a hug and pressed her head against my chest. I closed my eyes and fought against all the horrible memories that were trying to push their way to the fore front of my mind again. I breathed Mackenzie in and held her as best as I could with my one good arm, letting her very essence soothe me.

'Roba killed my old Captain and left him to rot in their pathetic excuse for a coffin. I got thrown in there with him when they realised I wasn't going to do what they wanted me to.' My face screwed up as I remembered the stomach curdling stench of death and decaying flesh, the feeling of the maggots as they crawled across my skin, the crushing desperation... I would never forget the way it had made me rip out a dead man's jawbone with my bare hands. It was the only thing I could use to get myself out of there, and I had been twisted enough to do it.

'You okay?' Mackenzie lifted her head to make sure I was alright and I nodded.

'Yeah. It took me about thirteen hours to dig myself out I think, and then I just kept walking. The only thing I can really remember after that was being found by some Texan border patrol guard.' I spared her the gory details of what a state I had been in. Dehydrated, delirious, covered in sores, infected. I had been more than ready to die.

'Did you catch his name?'

'No, sorry.'

'Damn. I wanted to thank him personally for finding you.' Kenzie snuggled closer against me and I smiled gently, bending my head to kiss her hair. She tilted her head up to look at me properly and on impulse, I brushed my lips across hers. The feeling that rushed through me was indescribable and it pushed me to a startling realisation.

I had been dragged painfully through hell - physically and mentally -, and I had suffered the nightmares and the terrifying numbness, but I wouldn't change a single thing if it meant I got to hold this strong, beautiful woman in my arms at the end of it.

Just for her, I would do it all again in a heartbeat. ****  
**

* * *

I had been lying next to Ghost, just trying to have a quick nap, when we got the news. Archer knocked on the door quietly before letting himself in and I could tell instantly that something was wrong.

'What's up?' I mumbled sleepily, rubbing at my eyes.

'Shepherd's dead.' His mouth tilted up at the corners slightly and I sat up. He should've been happy and laughing and jumping around and cheering... What was the catch?

'You don't seem too happy about that.' Ghost acknowledged.

'Something happened to Soap.'

'What?' I bolted up properly now, all traces of doziness gone. MacTavish was hurt?

'Nikolai's taking them to a safehouse in India.' He ran a hand through his hair and blew out a slow breath. I turned to look at Ghost wildly, gripping his wrist.

'I have to go see him.' I didn't trust myself to speak above a whisper. _MacTavish was hurt_! 'I need to go.' I scrambled out of the bed and yanked on my boots awkwardly, falling against the wall as I did so.

'Mackenzie, slow down.' Ghost pushed himself into a sitting position and his grunt of pain was enough to make me stop my mad rush. I swiped my hair from my face and glanced up at him.

'I'm not going to change my mind.'

'I know. I was going to tell you to wait until we can all get transport.' I had a feeling he was rolling his eyes at me, but I wasn't in any position to care.

'You can't move Roach.'

'We're just relocating, he'll be fine.' He stood up and pointed at Archer, 'Get Toad and help Roach out of bed. I'll get us a ride out of here.' I straightened slowly and watched him as he managed to shrug into his jacket. He noticed that I wasn't moving anymore and chuckled lightly, 'Are you just gonna stand there or are you coming to see Soap?'

I bounced over and hugged him quickly, 'Thank you.'

'Don't mention it. Come on.' I stuck by his side the entire time he arranged for us to be taken to India to be with what remained of our team. My mind was a complete whirlwind of thoughts and I was finding it hard to focus on much at the minute.

_Just stop and take a breath. Price will keep him safe._

I tried to listen as we boarded the helo that was taking us out of here. I belted up and tried to stop myself from shaking by gripping Ghost's hand into mine. I watched Archer and Toad help Roach out and felt bad for putting him through the stress of this.

He collapsed down into one of the seats and clutched at his stomach, 'I wish I'd had the chance to kill Shepherd personally for this.'

'Tell me about it.' Ghost said bitterly. Once we were all in, I laid my head against his shoulder and screwed my eyes shut. I was so scared that we were going to be greeted with the worst possible news. I hadn't been ready to lose Ghost or Roach, so I sure as hell wasn't ready to say goodbye to MacTavish. I'd always seen him as invincible, like nothing could ever, ever hurt him, but now he was wounded and I didn't know how serious it actually was.

'We're almost there, my friends!' The Loyalist shouted back to us. I sat up properly and went to unbuckle my belt when we felt a roll of turbulence.

'Whoa.' Toad gripped the edge of his seat.

'Everything okay up there?' Archer called to the pilot.

'I'm picking up inbound signatures!' His reply sounded panicked. We all shared a look of confusion as he began to talk rapidly in his native tongue. I quickly clicked my belt out of place and moved to look out the window. We were passing over a town and I could see a bunch of local soldiers running around, getting themselves prepared.

'What the fuck is going on?' I wondered out loud. The helo shook again and my heart jumped up into my throat. _We were gonna go down_.

'I have to turn back!' The pilot told us.

'What? No! No! Just land it somewhere, we'll be okay!' I was starting to panic. MacTavish was down there. _We were so close..._

'I won't be.' Roach hissed through his teeth.

'I'll go myself then.' I snapped.

'The Russians are attacking the village. I have direct orders, my friend, I am sorry!' I glanced out the window and saw that we were actually turning back.

'No!' Ghost seemed to know that I was away to do something stupid because I felt him wrap his good arm round my waist and haul me back down. 'No, we can't leave them! They're down there right now! They need our help!' I struggled, but even with a bad shoulder he was still stronger than me. A brief thought that I should start lifting weights flashed through my mind, then I was back to getting distressed about leaving Soap injured in a village that was under attack.

'He's with Price and Nikolai, they'll be fine, Mackenzie.'

'What if they're not?' Nobody was willing to challenge me on that one. Desperate tears sprung to my eyes and I tried to see out the window again. I caught a quick glimpse of an attack chopper and our helo shook again. This time, we heard the explosion.

'Fuck.' I whimpered as I curled in on myself. Shielding my face away from them and everything else that was happening around us, I tried to put up a mental block for myself to keep out the horrible thoughts of losing MacTavish and the nasty words that I wanted to spew at the rest of the team.

He had saved our arses back in Russia, and this is what we were thanking him with. I wished I could jump out and run back to him. I didn't want to just leave them like that, not when we were so close. I needed to see for myself that he was going to make it through this.

But now we had to wait again. God, I was so sick of waiting.

'I'm sorry, Kenzie. We can't risk it. We're all unarmed and two of us are still injured.' I felt Ghost's balaclava rub against the side of my face and I relaxed back into him.

'I know. I just won't be able to live with myself if anything happens to him.' I pressed the heels of my hands into my eyes and drew in a deep breath. 'He wouldn't have left me like this.'

'He wouldn't want you running in there and getting yourself hurt either.' That shut me up. 'We'll see them again soon, okay? Trust me.'

I didn't answer him. I just dropped my hands and let myself give in to the fact that things were more than different now. There was nothing I could do for MacTavish. Our entire world had just been thrown upside down and we had no choice but to adjust to it. If we didn't, then we would be as well just shooting ourselves and getting it over and done with before someone else did it for us.

The only thing that mattered now was staying safe, and carrying on. Shepherd was dead, so that was one threat eliminated, but he had still managed to do some decent damage while he had the chance. All but two of us had bounties on our heads and Makarov was still out there doing God knows what. If we wanted to take him down, it was going to take everything we had in us to do it.

It was all on the line now, and there was absolutely nothing we could do to stop it.


	21. Authors Note

_**Hey guys, just a quick update to say that the sequel, Hunted, is now up! If you could check it out, that would be great and I'll love you forever :)**_

_**Thanks! :D**_

_**-MyChemicalKilljoy**_


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